Never told you

Although I was never entirely demonstrative about my affection for you, I want you to know that you've always been there, that I always appreciated you for all you did, I want you to know that i'm really sorry for making you feel so bad, for leaving like nothing ever happened, I was afraid of messing things up and felt like I've never deserved your love. Yet tonight I'm here to finally tell you that I really love you, I love your hair, I love those shiny eyes, I love your voice, I love your humour, I love how kind you are to everyone, I love the way you sing, I love just the woman you are. I wish you could read this, I hope you do.

I don't know where to start but i just want you to know how grateful i am to meet you for such a brief of time. We're not close neither we are friends but in spite of our distances i could still feel the kindness and respect you've shown me. To be honest life's been rough for me lately and crying accompanied me a lot these days well, i have a lot of friends to rely on and burst my heart out to them but i prefer to be alone instead. When you wrote "Panagdait" in your notes after i reacted sad emoji at my notes i didn't realize it immediately because i was to busy singing while cryingHAHA! Anyways, i later on realized that maybe..just maybe it is for me to cheer me up? i don't know, i might be just be being delusional but even if it doesn't really mean anything for you or it is for someone else it did still made my day.Though i am still sad because of everything that has happened to my family but you unknowingly did somehow cheered me up . Maybe, i may sound a bit weird but only if you knew how grateful i am for you even if we never talked before for like atleast once or even just smile for each other. Knowing you are happy and in the great place and environment is enough for me especially as to what we are right now even from the very beginning. I thought at first you were like anybody out there who'll just take their admirers for granted or even ignore them otherwise, you are completely different from them. You are more than worthy of admiring. And perhaps that's what makes you different in my eyes. You don't have to do something extraordinary or go out of your way just to make someone feel seen. Sometimes, even the smallest gestures can mean so much to someone who has been going through a difficult time. I don't know if you realize the impact of your kindness, and I don't expect you to, but I hope you never lose that part of yourself. I hope the world remains gentle with you, just as you have been gentle with the people who admire you. Maybe someday, when I look back on this part of my life, I'll remember you with a smile and laugh at how a simple note, a song, or even the smallest possibility of being noticed could make my dayHAHA! Perhaps you'll never know how much that little moment meant to me, and that's okay. Not every meaningful moment needs an explanation, and not every feeling needs to be returned to be worth having. I'm still figuring things out in my own life, and there are days when everything feels heavier than I know how to explain. But I'm grateful for the little things that remind me that there is still kindness around me, even when life gets difficult. Your kindness became one of those little things, whether you intended it or not. So, thank you. Thank you for being someone I can admire, someone whose kindness has left a good impression on me, and someone who reminded me that admiration doesn't always have to be about wanting to be loved back. Sometimes, it can simply be about appreciating a person for who they are and hoping that life continues to be good to them. I hope you continue to grow into the person you want to become. I hope you achieve the dreams you've been working toward, find peace in the difficult days, and always have people around you who appreciate you beyond what they see on the surface. And if life ever gets difficult for you, I hope you receive the same kindness and consideration that you've shown to others. I don't know how long this admiration will stay with me, and I don't think I need to know. For now, I'm just grateful that our paths crossed, even if only briefly and from a distance. You may be just another person going about your life, unaware of the little things you do that leave an impression on someone else. But to me, you're someone worth remembering fondly. Please take care of yourself, and continue being the person you are. I wish you nothing but happiness, success, and peace in everything that lies ahead of you. And also I'll continue cheering and praying for you quietly from my little corner of the world. "I wish you nothing but the best" Thank you! And always keep safe!

I wish I had gotten the courage and actually talked to you.Told you that you never leave my head, and constantly haunt my every day. I wish I could tell you how I got butterflies when I saw you. How you altered my brain chemistry and now I can't see anything the same way. Besides that you deserve to have a good life meet someone even though I know it won't be me based on the obvious of me moving countries (Surprise!!) I couldn't tell you because you surprised me by moving two hours away and didn't tell me. I couldn't say goodbye. But I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason so I guess this is goodbye?

to any rita out there, i just want to let you know, you'll get through it. trust me. just focused to make yourself grow. ignore anything that has no corellation for your growth for it may only waste your wise time. you're as strong as many rita out there.

Hi mommy, its your daughter. I resent you so much, I love you nonetheless. I dont think there's enough words to explain how much i dislike you now. It wouldve never been this way if you never got with him, i hate your husband. As much as i laugh and play with him, i hate him more than fabiola who talked me into having intercourse with her. After you two got together, i have only been doing such heinous things, you used to never have screaming matches with me, you would never take away things i hold so dear to me for such extended periods of time, i never had a drink, i would have never cut myself, i wouldve never almost killed myself. I would have never done any of this, if it weren't for him. He changed you for the worse. I can't even come to you if i've had a bad day. Now you use anything i tell you against me. I hate when you use my grief as ammunition. I wanted to be a kid, i cant anymore. Now i have to talk through my aunt just so you can understand me, my aunt was more of a mother than you have ever been. I dont think i can even form a solid opinion about you. I have wanted you to understand me ever since you got with Darian. now you just think everything i do is unreasonable or im doing it for attention, or im just being a rebellious almost-teenager. Im doing all of this so i can get away from you, everyday i get home i have a headache knowing i have to at least talk to guys once. I dont know if its menopause but that is no excuse for the way you have been treating me at all. You have been treating me like absolute shit, you say "you said you feel like a guest in your own home, but you stay in your room all day" but i try to come out nd fucking talk to you guys im just met with indifference, ignorance, and if im not you just ignore me. I have tried to talk to you guys about my feelings exactly once, you BOTH stopped listening. That was and will be the last time i ever try to explain my self to guys. I have no way to contact anyne unless its through you guys, and i havent because i dont even like asking for anything. All you do is bring it up later so you can say no. Deep down, i hate you more than anyone. My own mother who is supposed to love, care and protect me cant even protect me from herself.

For more time with you ..

I find the trails of your smell in the hoodie I was wearing when I saw you, Every night I find myself looking out the window, Thinking maybe you’ll make for a bit, Hoping I’ll be at the balcony. I was wrong, and I lied to you, And I’m sorry for that. I’m sorry that I should’ve taken your hand And asked if you were serious, as much as I was— Because there’s simply no way. I’ve realized I might have loved you More than just a bit, Craving more time to look into your eyes, More time to take and hold you. You were right, And you shouldn’t had let me get out of your car, Because now I can’t get you out of my mind. Now how do I? And how do you not text me? Just one time, of everything with you— And I’ll be complete.

sometimes I love you and sometimes I ask myself how I manage to love you, when I feel like you dislike me. Actually, I think I even forgot the meaning of “loving”. I wouldn’t “love” someone who yells. I wouldn’t love someone who makes my day worse. You hate my looks. I love my short hair. Why don’t you? You always make sure to bring up my teeth in every argument. Or maybe the way I hide in my room. Or when I recut my bangs. Yes, it sounds stupid, but it means a lot. I hope, mama, one day, you’ll find the beauty my friends found in me years ago.

I don’t know why I keep snooping. It’s wrong. All I find is stuff that makes me sad, but you’re not doing anything wrong. You love me honestly and I love you crookedly. I’m sorry I won’t be brave enough to tell the truth.

I have been depressed for a while now, (probably for 7 months now). There are days were I feel hollow, days were I don't want to wake up, and it has gotten to the point of self harm. The feeling of anxiety and having constant negative thoughts overwhelm me to the point where I can feel the weight of it on my chest and it makes me want to cry. I have no one to reach out for help, and even if I did, my mom would notice and she would start talking about her religious beliefs to show that her God can fix me. Sometimes I feel lonely too, at night I cuddle with a pillow and cry until I fall asleep. I just want to have at least someone of trust who I can talk to. One simple wish that I have is, to have someone hold me while I sleep, brush my hair with their hands and tell me "Your enough, a new day will start tomorrow. I love you". Thankfully my depression only comes in waves and only shows up for a week to a month then goes away but then comes back after a month or two passes. Who ever is reading this, your not alone, everyday is a brand new page. I believe in you and I hope you have a happy life.

You keep giving me excuses to break my heart. I forgave you so many times and I know I’m not a great person but still. Why? Why does it hurt to love you? Why do you hurt me? -W

bae im sorry for everything thas happen. i jst feel like we r drifting apart every day and its k!llin me inside i dont know what to do anymore. idk how our gn texts went from long ahh paragraphs to "bye ly" i miss our old relationship baby. i miss u

Hi, moshie. You probably won't know who this is. But I miss you so much. Ever since our break up I never stopped thinking about you. How Ironic. I was the one who gave up on us but I'm also the one who can't seem to move forward. I accidentally saw you. You looked so happy. While me, I'm barely holding on. I didn't want to end us there. But the situation was just not right. I never wanted us to separate, believe me. Now, I just wish you all the happiness, Moshie. Back then, when we first met on Roblox. I never thought we'd be more than friends. I thought we'd just play, talk and that's it. And back when we also played MLBB, gosh that was so embarrassing. I was pretty new that time. You could probably tell on the way I play. I was never trully honest with you, Vien. And maybe that's what pushed me to make that decision. You're too good for me. You told me everything about you. And me? I just told you what I wanted you to know. I still love you even after the day we broke up, 2022 I think? And you reached out to me back in 2023. But yeah, I said something stupid, which is not true. I miss you so much, Vienne. I'm confident you won't see this, hehe. – FINN

Three years ago, you confessed to me out of the blue. I didn’t know how to handle a relationship, or even what to do in one. But honestly, I was really happy. I loved talking to you, even when we had nothing to talk about or things felt awkward. When you came over and we talked and played games, it was fun too. But then, all of a sudden, you stopped talking to me. Why? Did I do something wrong? I’ve wondered about that for a while now. Even after you stopped talking to me, I kept on thinking about you. Just constantly thinking about you every single day for three years straight. And just this year, why did you come back? I was so happy, happy to talk to you and see you again. I thought it was a dream come true, but the good things don't last forever. Why did you ask me to be your Valentine? I thought everything was going well until you asked me that. I always just wanted to be your friend. I liked you a lot, but not romantically. I admired you; you got along with everyone, and I just wanted to be by your side forever. But I didn't want to hurt your feelings, so I said sure. But in reality, I wanted to say no. Why couldn't we have just stayed friends? But if I were to say that, I knew I'd lose you again. It was fun being by your side again, like how we were back then, but of course nothing lasts forever. I knew you liked me; I knew you had a crush on me again. I wanted things to stay platonic between us, but I guess not. I didn't want to get heartbroken again, so I broke your heart. By saying no when you confessed your love for me again. I still think about you, even when I see you out in public or with your friends. I always think of you. I wish that were me standing by you; I wish that were me you were having fun with. I wish we could have been just friends.

Sometimes while walking in the streets or sitting in the subway, I look at all the girls around and I think that none of them deserved to be loved by you. I'm not talking about them being pretty enough or not, what i mean is bigger than that. It seems like by the help of those thoughts, i try to box out other girls so the only loveable person left would be me. And sometimes while seeing a middle-aged woman, I found myself thinking she can be your mother, especially when they have a little girl with them because i know you have a little sister. You know what? I know everything about you, not because we've talked too much or i've stalked you. I know everything about you because your shadow is living with me for more than six months. I've woken up next to you in my dreams. I baked a cake for you in my fantasy. You kissed goodbye and left for university in my fantasy. In my mind, we have had a complete healthy love and relationship. But it's been three weeks that i've woken up from that dream and fantasy. I want to stop myself from those kind of fantasy because THEY WILL NEVER EVER BECOME TRUE.

I don't really know how to start this without making things awkward, but I think I owe it to myself to finally say it. I really, really like you. Like… more than I probably should. And honestly, I don't even know if I can still call it just a crush. There are moments when I genuinely wonder if I've already fallen in love with you without even realizing it. Maybe somewhere along the way, what started as something fleeting became something far more profound than I ever intended it to be. And that's probably why I'm saying this now. I want this to be my last time liking you. Maybe even my last time allowing myself to fall for you. Not because I suddenly stopped caring, and definitely not because I regret ever liking you. It's actually the opposite. I like you so much that I've realized I have to stop myself before I become too deeply attached to something I'm still uncertain about. Because as much as I'd like to believe that feelings are enough, I know they're not always. I don't want to enter a relationship while I'm still questioning what I truly feel or what I actually want. I don't want something as meaningful as a relationship to begin from uncertainty, only for that uncertainty to eventually hurt either of us. Maybe this is simply my way of accepting what feels inevitable. I guess.. that's also why I chose to tell you this now. Before I finally let this feeling go, I want you to know that there was a time when I really, really, really liked you (yes, believe it or not binabaliw mo ako that time (╥⁠﹏⁠╥) ). More than I ever intended to. Maybe I even loved you—I honestly don't know. And perhaps I'll never know for certain. But I think that's okay. Not every feeling needs a name for it to have been real, gosh I'm so out of word right now. Bro I'm trying my best to make this message more long and I guess I'm trying my best to word out this jumbled feelings of mine. HAHAHA I'm prolly spouting nonsense rn 💔. And yeah… part of me still thinks you're way wayyy out of my league anyway 😭. Maybe I just see you as someone took far above me, and maybe that's another reason why I need to take a step back. Not because you're unreachable, but because I don't want to lose myself in the possibility of something that may never exist. But more than anything, I don't want this confession to ruin our friendship. Because if I'm being completely honest, what we have as friends means more to me than whatever could possibly happen between us. Our friendship has become something I genuinely cherish, and I don't think I could ever bring myself to trade something that precious for a possibility. So I'm not telling you this because I want an answer. I'm not confessing because I expect you to feel the same way. I just want you to know. I want to leave this feeling with honesty instead of carrying it with me in silence. After this, I'll try to relinquish this feeling little by little. Maybe it won't happen immediately, and siguro I'll still have moments where I miss you or wonder about the what ifs. But I'll let myself move forward. Because sometimes, caring about someone means knowing when to stop yourself from falling deeper. And when I finally do move on, I hope I'll be able to look back at all of this without regret. I hope I'll remember you not as someone I couldn't have, but as someone who made me feel something I never expected to feel. And despite everything, I'm genuinely grateful that I got to atleast admire you I've noticed that lately, I've been trying to become the best version of myself. I've been trying to grow, to be kinder, to do better, and to become someone I'm proud of. And honestly, I don't think I would've become this version of myself if it weren't for you. Maybe that's one of the things I'll always be grateful for—that even if these feelings eventually fade, they changed me in ways I never expected. Liking you made me want to become better, and for that, I'll always be thankful 🙂. Whatever happens after this, I hope we can still be us. I'll always cherish our friendship. I'll always be grateful for every conversation, every laugh, every little moment that somehow became important to me. Maybe this is closure for me. Maybe it's simply acceptance. But either way, this is probably the last time I'll tell you that I like you. So… before I let it all go— I really, really like you. - J (Let it go~ Let it go~HAHAHA Ps. naalala ko lang yan song na ”Let It Go”😭) Your initials just in case you find this lolll (KJBT). Ts is so freaking riskyy, I'm sending this here first before I send it to you, since I'm still not ready to tell you whatever ts is.

Ashtyn, if only you truly knew just how much I love you. It’s bigger than I can ever put into words and it hasn’t faded even a little bit. I miss you every single day and every moment, more than you will ever fully understand. I’m so deeply sorry I hurt you when I was still broken and unhealed inside. I know that pain made me act wrong and I didn’t treat you with the kindness, care and love you deserved every single day. I will always regret that more than anything. I miss your laugh that could light up every room, your beautiful smile that meant everything to me, your terrible silly jokes that I’d pretend to hate but actually loved so much. I miss every little thing about you and every part of who you are. I want to reach out and I want to be close to you again more than anything. But I need to know you still want me there too and that there’s still a place for me in your heart. Because no matter what happened, I still love you fully, truly and completely and I always will.

Or am I just a dumbass? I let you use me, my body, my love, my care, my time, my money, my efforts, my trust. And that’s on me. I never used to like you, I never had an interest in you, never looked at you in that way, never wanted you, never nothing, I only seen you just a friend. Then you told me and then you asked me.. and then I had officially been labelled as a girlfriend. Which was weird, I didn’t like it, I didn’t like you, I didn’t understand why and I didn’t understand how. But I did it. I did it for one reason. For one thing that I couldn’t believe in.. love. I couldn’t believe that someone had actually liked me, that someone loved me, that someone cared about me, thought about me and wanted to be with me. I was shocked, excited, nervous and clueless. I had no clue what I was doing and I didn’t like it at all to begin with. But then once I got comfortable with being a gf I started treating you as a princess. Gifts - and multiple of them, money, dates, cards, paragraphs, photos, food, snacks, anything and everything to make you feel loved, but to also make myself feel that if I had given you all that you wanted you wouldn’t leave me. But little did I know in the long run that’s the worst thing to do. It’s now been a year and 2 months into this relationship and, I’ve been wanting to leave this situation for months, but I can’t bring myself to it. Tbh I sort of wished I never said yes in the first place. Or I wish that I would’ve waited a little longer to see what you would do within a relationship with me before I went ahead and said yes. Throughout this past year and couple of months I’ve come to realise a lot within love, and how love feels and what it’s like to feel stuck, unloved, and feel like you’re the only one trying. I’ve tried to tell you multiple, and multiple times what I care about, how you can love me and that I’m truly struggling so you know how urgent this situation is to fix the ‘problem’. But as well as that, I feel like I’m just used.. for literally anything if it’s for money or sexual desires I’m used. I feel no matter how hard I try your never satisfied or you expect more. Expects me to buy you things, beg me to please you, expect me to cook for you. But yet all I ask in return is a cuddle, a kiss, a shower tg but yet it’s always too much. I’ve always told you that it’s never about money, it’s never about big gifts or anything to do with that, but the little things are what matter most to me. Remembering small details about me, cuddling me out of nowhere, wanting to play/fight/shower/talk, bond, spend quality time tg. But instead I’m comforted with ‘ceebs’ or ‘I don’t want too’ or ‘yep..’ Or I’m laughed at or talked about with your friends, or little comments are made on my insecurities. The many things I’ve seen and heard you, my bf say, you’ve belittled me to make your friends laugh, you don’t stick up for my name if it’s used in convos. Which tbh I’ve gotten used to, I know how to look after myself, protect myself, stick up for myself, but I won’t marry a man who wouldn’t want too do that for me. We’re two completely different minds where you’re just fixated on the complete opposite of mine and I’m the complete opposite of yours. I’ve tried so hard to keep going, but since a while back I feel like I’m the only one holding up this relationship. And tbh I think my life would go pretty good without you, I mean I know it would be really hard for me, and ik you think I won’t with how much I complain, but this just shows you how many times I’ve mentioned this problem and it hasn’t been fixed I’ve been left with “I’m trying”, “just give me time”, etc. But how long do I have to wait? Will you actually try to love me, or will you just leave it again? Should I leave? Or am I just a dumbass?

YO BESTIE>> , you surely have a way with words dont you? its my pleasure nah my honour to be a person u consider ur safe place . Reading ur letter/texts always lightens me up . Youre also my safe place , 'still the one that i run to, the one that i belong to' .I have a great amount of bestfriends zoya , people i meet daily and have spent yearssss with but yk what ? whenever i think of my safe place ? ur name comes to my mind along w a few .Its beautiful how even distance isnt keeping me from feeling exactly what i feel for those ive known for years .i really wanna meet u someday buddy :( . you and me always forever ;) The love of yo life, Maheen.

hi hello, awkward man to but i want to tell i liked u. hahaha funny kasi hindi ko nasabi sayo agad and there's a lot of story behind that:)) kasi hindi naman sa may attachment issues ako pero like, i just like for being who u are, nothing more nothing less:)) then couple days passed my feelings got more deeper:)) well knowing u, you liked kris, well im not against nor jealous of that cuz who am i to u? "ate"? well yea younger ka sakin but does it really matter? maybe sayo oo:)) and idk what u feel cause damn i don't have the chance to tell u this kasi nag confess ka kay kris non and gosh i just wanted to be slowburn that time kasi if i really told u early? ik you wouldn't like me😭 cause u know me as ur "ate" and i can't change that on how u know me:)) besides u liked someone else's and i can't force u to liked me too if ever man nag sinabi ko sayo yung totoo before:)) and it'll be awkward for us diba?? i know there's a chance na wala talaga akong chance, and im okay with that. im not expecting anything from you. i just felt like i needed to tell u this because i wanted to be true to what i feel. i don't want to pressure you or make things awkward, it was nice knowing u after all:)), and kinda thrill kasi love triangle?eme, kidding aside. maybe ako lang or my delulu side lang yun na may meaning pero this is how it feels liking someone that i shouldn't be liking🏃🏻‍♀️. anyways, i just wanted to know u this naman hehe, Ik you might not like me back and again i just want to get this out off my chest. that all I hope ur doing great:) kung ano man meron dito, stays with us, hope it will never be awkward after this:)) well u might know me makapal naman talaga mukha ko:)) thankyouuuuuu, love lots💙