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destiny is nth smtms, choice depends on us. manifesting a life which will never exist is fun as well till the time you are in delusion. but truly it would be the best thing of you were in my life, you preferred not to

Keep on hanging. There is a life worth living. It's gonna hurt. But then one day it won't.

I hope you achieve the things you've always dreamed about. We may not be together but, I wish you all the best and I hope you're happy now with someone. I love you! May this letter find you, I can't be open about anything and sincere but I want to let you know that I did all those things then because I'm scared that you'll leave me and you did. However, those words that you've said to me before our final goodbye, always and had been always impacted my whole life. If we're meant to be, we will find our way back to each other. It's just so ironic, and a lil' promising that I end up moving on with someone else.

Cher Arturo de París, I thought about sending this to your email for a couple of days, and after sitting with it, I decided not to do that, because I do not want to affect your life and your relationship with your wife. The truth is that I could not figure any other way for telling you this, so I just posted this here.  For the past seven years I have missed you, very much. Somehow, from time to time, I kept on seeing things that reminded me of you. As I wrote this letter, tears were falling from my eyes because I know that some feelings are still somewhere in me because I never got the chance to tell you how much you meant to me. Even though now you’re a total stranger to me.  Two weeks ago, I did a trip to Paris and obviously I couldn’t be in your city and not think of you… While I was there, I imagined what it would be like to actually see you again, even though the possibilities were really low. I wondered what would I do. Would I have the courage to say hello to you? “Maybe that would be wrong, I don’t know if he doesn’t want to talk to me” — I thought. I wondered that if you saw me, you would ignore me and I would’ve ignored you too? Or smile to you from afar? Thankfully, we didn’t cross paths, because I wouldn’t know what I would’ve done.  Some years ago, after our exchange semester in Warsaw, we were supposed to see each other but COVID and life happened, and then I decided not to risk going there to see you. There are few things I regret in my life and one of them was not taking that plane to Paris, but I am sure everything happens for a reason. I had many dreams of seeing you again, hugging you and just catching up on how were we living our lives and achieving our goals, because the truth is, I really wanted you to stay in my life… In that sense, and given the fact that we have not seen each other nor spoken in so many years, I wanted to let you know that I am very proud of you for becoming a sport coach. I always thought that you would be a fantastic teacher, and now you are! Applying philosophy into body and health. I am very happy for you and all that you’ve achieved with your Hyrox! Probably you don’t know anything about me. But in case you’re interested, here is the summary what I have been up to for the past years: I graduated with honors and after having so many ugly jobs, I (finally) worked where I wanted for three years, learnt a bit more of French and now I recently moved to Switzerland to do a Masters Degree specializing in Human Rights and Humanitarian Action. I still have not decided if I want to become Ambassador or not, but what I am sure is that my purpose is defend and promote minorities' rights. I remember all too well of what we lived in Warsaw. For me it was like a dreamy movie with some pain and sadness, but when I remember you in it, it also has a tint of happiness and a good feeling. I just wanted you to know that in many ways, you saved me. You also taught me so much about life and philosophy. I still carry that with me. Definitely meeting you was a way of discovering new things about life and about myself. I don’t know how to explain this, but I really felt seen with you, like you saw me for who I was. I don’t know if you ever felt it, but I must assure you that I felt something really intense and passionate towards you, something you can only experience once in your life. You were kind, intelligent, curious, funny, wise, and overall, a great human being. You’re a memory of a person that I will always remember fondly, and I hope you feel the same way about me, but if you don’t, that’s okay. With you, and after these past years, I’ve learnt that not everything in life has to last forever in order for it to be special. Some of the greatest persons in our lives don’t stay forever, and that is the case with you. Anyways, my final words to you are that I am glad and happy you that exist, because we got to know each other and coincide for a very short amount of time in our lives. You were transcendental in my life and will always be.  So go on and live a fulfilling life, help others and may all your goals and desires come true. I wish you the best for you and for all your family. If we ever cross paths again, I’ll smile at you, but that’s all. After this letter, there’s simply nothing left to say. So with this, I release you from my heart and I let you go forever Arthur,  Love you always, your María.

I love u so much kenja pls come back ill be better this time I wont annoy u pls js come back ur everything and all i want ken i dont want better u told me to forget it but i can never forget u n i will always love u bc u were sm i truly loved u will always have a space in my heart i love u soooo much ken i hope u change ur mind n realise how much my heart truly yearns for u j love u kenja pls come back ur all i ever wanted i miss the times we had the memories we made the long calls we had thank u for everything ken I love u pls come back ur all i ever want u will always stay on my mind 24/7 i love u ken i rlly do pls i hope u change ur mind i rlly hope🤍

you're still my muse.

Hey, I’m really sorry I always think about you. It’s hard because it’s not like we cut contact, I have your socials and it’s just so hard sometimes to not text you. I’m still mad at the stupid reason we left off, I don’t know if it was really sincere or not. I wish we could restart and see how it goes, although when we broke up I cried. And cried and cried. For 5 months every night I would cry and write you a letter. I would say the things I miss the things I realized. You were so sweet, I loved your laugh your kindness, your humour and your hugs and caringness. I really loved you, now u don’t know, u don’t know whether it’s the love of our memories or my original heart felt emotion from when we were together. You hurt me and I will never get over that, I hust hate that I still feel I need you in my life. I wish there was a 2nd chance for us, but obviously not, you moved on and I know that.

i'm so sorry ging...i understand that my apology feels empty to you now...please don't leave me baby please...I have no plans when you leave me, i will probably take my life if we ever broke up...please ronghie don't leave me... i will do anything to get that spark back, everything you want me to do i will do it for the sake that you don't leave me because of my stupidity, please im sorry don't leave me i know i'm hard to love and understand but please bear with me, i would die for you baby, i'll catch a grenade for you, Throw my hand on a blade for you, I'd jump in front of a train for you, You know I'd do anything for you... please don't leave me...please don't stop having feelings for me ging please, i would do anything you want me to do just to get that feeling back when i say sorry. please bb.. don't leave me

I hate you so fucking much, I hate everything about you. You're a horrible guy and you deserve nothing good to happen to you. If I wasnt such an easy to manipulate desperate for love and attention 12 yr old when we met I would've been mostly normal, but meeting you ruined all that and I hate you so much.

Even though we’re no longer by each other’s side, every year, I’ll still hope that you have a wonderful birthday. I hope you’ll always be happy. Thank you for being my “orange cat.” I wish you had realized just how much you once meant to me. I wish you had known that, back then, all it would have taken was a single word from you for me to stay. Then I wouldn’t have had to cry and write those words, these lines, or all the things I would say afterward. I wish you had realized that. It’s still inside me. I want to tell you everything, but I just keep crying whenever I think about those memories. I can't tell you. Maybe we can be bestfriend in another lifetime. I’m sorry I can’t be there to see you succeed and be happy. But I hope that you will always be the best person in the world. Love you from far away. H

I’m just gonna say this here because I really wanna let this out of my chest, and I know you don’t know this website so, I probably am safe here. I’ll start with; hello, hi, how are you? I mean, after embarrasing myself by messaging you I still have the guts to send this. But I’m curious, are you really doing well? Because that honestly sucks. I’m not happy for you. I gave you an ego boost, and you’re bathing in it. Throughout our relationship, you’ve always been narcissistic. You made me feel loved too much, so that it will give you the feeling of being someone important to me. Someone who I can’t let go of easily. You were horrible, I’ll always say that despite of the beautiful things and feelings you’ve gave me. I don’t know how many more months, or years I’ll suffer, but I know right now I’m hating you. You treated me really well but really badly. It was a feeling I would always look for, something I would always chase from you. Hell I even begged you to stay—and fuck I really did fucking love you. Just so you know, it was really petty of you to not give me closure, just because I didn’t give that to you when you wanted it. And I know you’re capable of giving it to me when I asked you, but you didn’t because you want to be petty about it. I hate you for it. I don’t even think about you all day, and still you manage to show up in my dreams. Every. Single. Night. I’m tired of it. Please just leave me alone. It hurts to think that I’m needing you in my dream, and it hurts to think that I don’t have you when I’m awake. Two worlds. Even that I can’t have peace. I know I sent you a message that says I’m letting go of my hate, but I can’t. Not when you’re that happy. You ruined me, and you’re the one who gets an happy ending. Okay, fine, I’m blaming you for it. I’m blaming you for everything that’s happening in my life right now. I hope you end up as miserable as I am. No, I hope it’s worse, and I wish the worse for you. I hope you get treated like when how you treated me. You’re the worst, but just so you know, I can be worse. You manipulate the people around you, even the people around me. Who do you think you are? and to think I still have something left for you, is fucking sickening. I still have sympathy left because I just erased a sentence here that would cause you your sanity, YOU’RE WELCOME. I just hope you stop talking about me, and stop talking to the people around me. I don’t care how you think that’s crazy but you know how I’m crazy. And I can get crazier if I want to, but I’m holding back, cause I know you’ll use everything against me. I know you too well. That’s why I sent this message here so you won’t ever get a chance of reading it. Because what’s the purpose of you reading it, while I know for in fact you won’t get it? how do I know that? because I know you well enough. Fuck off.

Haii zoya , lemme be the one to tell you how much greatful I am , to have a person to look back to , to know that someone cares for me. I truly have lots of friends but ur the one I would comfortably share with. Meeting you is one of the greatest events in my life.I love you, to the moon and back With love, Your-nowadays tryna figure life out- bestie

Hey...how have you been? I don't think you even remember me at all, but there was no single when I didn't thought of you. Arnav, you are my first love. I still remember the day I first saw you in second grade wearing white shirt and blue jeans. Then you came sat in front of me. That's how we became friends. Every moment with you is very precious to me. I remember playing in parks, making sand castles, and you favourite food being curd also how you were excited and patient with me to tell things. You might not know but in 2nd grade, I was bullied. You were the only happiness during those years. My childhood has become a precious memory because of you <3. You were the brightest person I ever met. I loved spending time with you. Even though, now that we're not in contact because of abrupt school transferring, just know I'll always cherish my time with you. Sometimes I wonder whether you remember me or not. Well, it doesn't matter, atleast one has to preserve these memories. Even though it's been 7 years since I last saw you, I still remember your face very vividly.

I really miss hugging you btw. I haven't hugged someone in weeks or months. You were the last person I was excited about hugging, not my mom, not my dad, not my friend you were always salty about. It was you who I cared about grasping. Embracing. I thought it didn't matter. But then weeks went by, then months, then years. You moved to a different city. I was so happy, Okay I lied, I wasn't. But not because you are away now Because you never told me Didn’t you want to meet me one last time? Maybe you didn’t. Well, nothing changed except the possibilities of my silly fantasies about accidentally running into you at the bus stop. Or the market.

"True friends are never apart, maybe in distance but never in heart."

“I was insane with horrible spells of sanity” is an Edgar Allen Poe quote that I fear I understand too well. I can feel myself instead of feeling sad just not, and feeling really funny like laughing. Like everything is a joke and I’m the punchline. I can feel it like a thin thread slipping through my hands, slick with oil and thinner than spider silk. I have a bad day and felt really bad and wanted to hurt myself, I had a bad reencounter with a bad person. Something inside me broke and I just started laughing, like a lot. I wanted to kill myself but I was just laughing like I had heard the funniest joke. I couldn’t stop either, I heaved laughter until cramps stoped and I still felt ungodly happy, even for a normal day let alone a day like poop. Am I crazy? I don’t know. The hallucinations are back too. I keep seeing people way too clearly who aren’t there, not like Roxy and Earl but more solid, more like they exist but they don’t. I thought someone tapped me and called my name but it was from the direction of a Wall. I fear I may be close to an edge, one much higher than any I’ve faced before.

Hi, how's life? I just wanna say thank you for being a reason why i am so happy at that time, with all your presence, your words, your laugh, and everything you've done (to me especially). I'm sorry if my words are make u feel bothered, this is the only thing i can do to write this letters, because i'm too afraid to say it in person. thank you, once again. see you when i see you.

I won’t say my name but you’ll know who it is. I don’t understand that. How I can move on from the relationship we had, but not from the friendship. I think about you all the time. It turns into dreams and extreme urges to see how you are. I miss our friendship so much it hurts. I don’t understand this. It’s never happened before. I Pray you’re doing well. As always, I’m proud of you.

Dear mahi, I don't know where to start but I am going to try my best so please bear with me. It started all the way back in 2024. I don't particularly remember the exact events which led us to becoming friends but I remember some moments vividly; me helping you pass your chemistry exam, hearing you swear in korean and us taking the bus back home. I have told you this before but thank you for being there even if you didn't know anything because you being there helped me get home a little more unhurt each day. Talking to you on my way back quickly became a comforting feeling I looked forward to. Fast forward and we became good friends. I told you parts of everything and you were nothing but the most supportive and loving person I had known. None of us bring up our conversations back from that time, but not a day goes by that I don't think about them. It was truly magical. You were my precious and I was your princess. It was and always will be one of the most happiest times of my life. I loved talking to you so much that I could barely ever contain all that joy within me. I would jump and giggle when you said something that you would call 🧀. It was the origin of the iconic pea pod and frankie. Back then when I was still navigating through all that, you came in and made me feel beautiful and worthy again. You would always compliment me and make me feel so loved. One day, it all stopped. Fast forward to the 8th of July 2024, you went ice skating with our friends and I was having not the best day, but right when all hells were about to break loose, I get a text from you, then some more videos and pictures. I started laughing through tears in my eyes and forgot the gravity of the situation I was in just moments ago. You didn't stop there, and kept talking to me the whole time when you were there, because of which our friends still bring it up now and then. We went on a walk that day and you came home. And then the moment happened. Something that still warms me up when I remember it. I hugged you. I let my body just rest against yours, my head on your shoulder and my palms gripping onto your shirt. I was scared of letting you go. Those arms are one of the most safest places I have been in. I just wanted to bury my face in your shoulder and hide away from the world, only feeling enveloped by your presence. I came to your house and till date, I believe your parents are some of the nicest people I have seen. I don't want to get into alot of details because I have mentioned it quite often to you but I felt so loved that day that I burst out into tears as soon as I reached back home. Then, we went through a silent phase as we both got into university. I added your location to my home screen weather. If the day looked gloomy there, I would look up at the sky and wish for the clouds to clear up quicker because you didn't like them. I had a crush on you back then too, but you liked someone else then. And then everything else happened and now it feels like a whole different relationship then what it was 2 years back. It is normal and I do not expect us to remain the same but boy do I miss it. I can't tell you directly but it hurts me every time you ship me with someone else as I am sitting right there madly in love with you. I ship you with others too, purely to cope. I have been trying to go about this in every logical way I can but I really cannot stop liking you mahi. I thought about you mentioning how long distance relationships aren't really your thing, and you mentioning about wanting a kid someday which I am not sure if I can or cannot do. You have mentioned about how you and your dad talked about the importance of marrying into a good family too, and while you never said this directly since you are a single child, marriage could be a way you could get a brother or a sister, which again in my situation is just a huge mess. All these logical reasons, but I still cannot stop liking you. You are my phone password. I have a pinterest board for you named "my secret muse" and I have a playlist of songs which I know you listen to so that I can listen to them on those days I miss you a little extra hard. This one might be weird but I have a project dedicated to you on chatgpt too. I have written you handwritten letters which you will probably never read. It feels too daunting to say that 4 letter word so I will rather use a milder version of it instead. I like you mahi, I really do. Your droopy eyes which I can never maintain eye contact with, those heart shaped lips of yours which always seem to know the right thing to say and those arms of yours which calm me down, I love all of it. I really do. Please stop shipping me with other people mahi, it hurts my heart more than I would like to admit. Your birthday is coming up soon my love, and I hope your 20s brings you lots of happiness and health. Thank you for being the reason I get through long nights because I want to spend one more day loving you silently. 🫪🌾🫂🌘🇬🇧

It’s okay. Really, it is okay and I fully understand. Please stop blaming yourself. Please stop beating yourself up. You weren’t in a good place. I know things were so hard for you and I apologize for not being more mindful of how you felt. I expected too much from you during such a hard time. I know you weren’t feeling well and I sprung so much on you. I know you said you are sorry but it was not your fault and I hate that you blame yourself for everything. We both said and did things wrong. I’m not mad at you, at all. Thank you so much for reaching out. I love you and that will never change.