I miss you

The more time that goes past, the more time I wonder. My life is everything I ever imagined, everything I dreamed of. So why does it feel you're missing? Two years it's been since i've seen you. The biggest heartbreak of my life having to let you go. Fly across the world to filful your dreams. I never thought that loving you would've made me lose myself in the process, who would've thought that loving you more than myself was only hurting me. Without you I have grown, I am the best version of myself emotionally and mentally. I thrive in my life, but why do I wish you were still in it? I want to know about yours and how you are doing. I want to reach out and tell you I miss you. Not our relationship, I miss you. I miss my best friend, who understood me when I didn't even get myself. On the same wavelength when it came to our opinions on stuff, but also on completely opposite ends too. I miss arguing with you. Isn't that crazy? I don't argue with anyone in my life now. Do I just miss someone fighting for me enough? I miss your laugh and the way you looked at me. I always wonder what you would do if you saw me today. I wonder how you feel and most of all I wonder how I would feel. Two years has passed, I thought about you every month, became every week to now everyday. Is this just my karma for how I left things? All the resentment and anger I held towards you and leaving me here alone, I was broken. You were the love of my life and still my boyfriend, but across the world for ten months. It was the hardest thing in my life I have ever had to deal with and I wonder if it was the same for you. One thing I know, if you came back for Christmas, we would have made it through. I wonder about that from time to time and maybe you do too. My mind wanders, it always wanders back to you, I do still love you, what I have come to realise in the last couple of months but dropping my whole life for you would never be an option again. I have built myself from the bottom, I have a stable job, friendships which I've never had before and a stable/ healthy relationship. I miss you and I love you, if I could go back in time to our relationship I would, but I wish we had the personalities and attitudes towards life that we do now. Maybe growing separately was the thing we needed. I hope you are happy in your current life and reaching all your goals. I hope your relationship is happy, hopefully she loves you even just a quarter of the amount I did. I've never loved anybody in my life like I did you, never will I again. One thing I know for sure, in every other life. You are my soulmate. But in this one, I had to choose myself.

To my dearest, happy birthday! Even in silence, I hope you can always feel the warmth of every prayer I send your way. Wishing you the gentlest, happiest, and most comforting year ahead. Seeing one of your biggest dreams finally come true... stepping into that new world and braving all the tough steps makes me so endlessly proud of you. I hope every other dream you carry will gradually unfold and come true, too. The days might be intense and tiring, but I know how strong you are. May God always protect your steps, wrap you in strength, and keep you safe. :) Even from 294 km away, and even with everything that has changed between us, please know that I will always keep wishing you godspeed from afar. Thank you for being such a meaningful part of my life. Happy birthday to my absolute favorite person, always.

its been past a week since you decided to put a break in our relationship, and i figured i would be seeing you less and less often. we barely speak as much as we did too, and i know its all my fault. the way i was only doing the bare minimum. how i took you for granted. but i know you didn’t want to do this, that you hold some love for me (the same love you had to hold back to make what we currently have now ‘work’) and despite it all, i respect that you wanted to choose yourself first. still, i love you, and i can never stop loving you. i’ll wait for you until you’re ready, and when i’m mentally prepared to have our future together. and if you do stop loving me and move on, i pray that you find someone who can love and accept you as much as i did.

Heyy......one of the best sakhii ..❤️ Pata hh sakhii ham jb bhii apne baar me sochte hh kii mere pss kya hh yesa ....tb hii tumhar kayal aata hh mere dil aur dimag mee .....tum mere liye woo saks hoo jesee me kabhii khud bhii apne dil se Nhii nikal skta huu itnii merii aukaat hii Nhii hh ..... Pr kabhii kabhii tumsee milne ka ur tumhe galee lagane ka itna Dil krta hh ki kya batauu aapkoo ..Maan krta hh kii abhii bhag ke aa jauu apke pss ...pr ye bhii impossible hh ....bus ham intzar hh uus pal ka jb ham aapkoo galee laga ke kahegee you are the my fav fav fav fav sakhii ❤️

oh teddy, i don't even know how to start this. you were my everything. you still are, you're still my baby and the only one i want in my future, the only one i want forever. every song reminds me of you, of your beautiful voice, you're my angel, my siren. you saved my life, i thought about giving up before you but you brightened every day, you are my sun and all my stars, i'm your moon trying to reflect your brightness back to you. even though we've been driven apart now, even though it feels like the whole world is in our way, i hope our paths intertwine again, that we eclipse someday. i'll still dream of our pretty house, our children, our cats. everything you've ever done for me, every word you've ever said, has filled my heart with so much joy. you completed me, you filled what was missing in me, and i'll always love that about you. you made me smile and laugh when i cried, you made me cry from joy and how much i loved you, and i still do. teddy, if you decide to come back, whenever it is, i'm waiting with open arms. i'm so sorry i can't say this to you directly, i just don't want to hurt you or make you feel guilty while you're taking time for yourself. of course i want to know how you are, how you feel, i want to do things for you and love you and bask in the glow of your presence. but because i can't right now, because i'm giving you the space you need, i'm putting it here. i hope you see this one day and read it and see what you mean to me. i hope you read back my letter from our 6 months. i hope you still love your sock monkey and t-shirts and hoodie and leather bracelet. i hope you don't have to push me out of your life completely and forever, because i can't do that with you. i still smell your aftershave, wear your shirts. do you remember when i missed you when you went away and i cuddled your sweatshirt on my pillow every night? it's the only thing that's been helping me sleep knowing you're not mine right now. i hope that you do still love me. i hope i wasn't just sex. i hope one day, as soon as possible, you come back and confide in me and let me help you. until you do that, i'll keep trying to cope. i'll keep writing anonymous messages online, pining after you every waking hour, and dreaming of us every time i go to sleep. please remember the times we were happy, i beg you. don't remember me with the malice you carried that i didn't know about. i'm so sorry i pushed you away, made you feel like you had to isolate yourself from me. you really didn't, and you don't, but i respect that that's what you want. just don't forget me completely, don't forget the love in my eyes or the feeling of my kisses or the softness of my words when describing you. i won't forget that about you, ted. i won't forget how much you made me laugh, my sweet love. i know i'm rambling and repeating myself, but it's such a fresh wound. it's so hard, but i need to give you what you want. i just need you to know i'm always here for you. i always want to know how you are, hear your problems. whatever you need, my baby, i'm here. don't be afraid of who i used to be, i'm changing for you. i know i've shrunken away, i've hidden, but i promise you i'm ready whenever you need me. i love you so, so much. i love your soft hair, your beautiful blue eyes, your bright smile, your strong arms, your warm body. i love the way you smell and how you held me like i'd break without you and your singing will forever haunt me, the ghost of your love whispering in my ears along with every song. you're still my hero, teddy, you always will be. i'll always love you, everlong.

Ik how much you're missing me rn but trust me vanshu, Ireallymissyoumoreeeeee. All I can do rn is send you virtual hugs & pray that we become roomies soon go on crazy ass trips, do random night outs & just live our life man. Take care bub XOXO Adding a song to lift your mood up, now get your lazy ass off bed & dance for a while so that you go to sleep joyous :)

to r, who came into my life in that september. perhaps becoming close and being friends with you felt like a given to me at some point, and precisely because i took it for granted, i cherished this beautiful friendship all the more. yet, i failed to understand your true feelings. you didn't want to remain just friends; you wanted the small title of "lovers" throughout those five years. i knew it, yet i turned a blind eye simply because i was terrified of losing our friendship (sounds like a flimsy excuse just to brush things off, doesn't it?). i wasn't sure if i could offer you a love that was truly worthy, and back then, we were still far too young. i was afraid that a fleeting romance would tear our friendship apart. i didn't dare believe i could bring you happiness. and now, as our feelings gradually faded and we drifted together—protecting each other like two friends simply out of habit—i inadvertently lost you, letting you fall into someone else's arms while i stood there in utter bewilderment. i don't understand my own emotions. clearly, i had rejected you; clearly, i had never given any signals. yet now, seeing you find a second happiness that isn't with me, i feel this sudden, stabbing heartache. we stood by each other in our foolish youth, and now that we are mature, you use that very affection to shelter someone else. i know my feelings have arrived far too late. i am happy for you, but at the same time, a quiet sorrow and regret are flickering inside for not having reached out to hold you back. right now, the two of us are walking a tightrope between friendship, looking both pitiful and blameworthy. i know these thoughts shouldn't exist, but please, let me be selfish just this once. i wish i could turn back time. i wish i had been more sincere in accepting your feelings instead of relying on the trust of a mere friend. i wish i had been confident enough to finally say, "i've fallen for you." this confession cannot be delivered to you, but i will try my best to nurture our friendship. and i know that one day, we will see those beautiful years of friendship bloom once again. (thank you for the love you gave me.)

I don’t really know why I’m writing this. Maybe because there are still so many things I never got to say, or maybe because sometimes I just wish I could go back to a time when talking to you was the easiest thing in the world. It also because I hope you would see this and want me back. I think i’m feeling super emotional right now because our what would have been 1 year anniversary is coming up. There was a time when you were my normal. You were the person I could text about the smallest things. If something happened with my mom, if something made me laugh, if I was upset, if I just had a random thought, you were someone I wanted to tell. I didn’t have to think about whether I should reach out. I just did. And now it’s strange knowing that I can’t do that anymore. Sometimes I’ll see an old picture or video of you on my phone and think, “There really was a time when this was my life.”Tiktok’s on this day is really killing me. There was a time when your name was at the top of my phone. There was a time when I thought we’d have so many more memories together. I don’t think I’ll ever forget what you meant to me. You were my first serious love, and you were there for so many of my first experiences with loving somebody and letting somebody love me. Whatever happens in both of our lives, that will always be a part of my story. I know I wasn’t perfect. I know there were things I could have handled differently, things I wish I had understood sooner, and moments where I wish I had been a better version of myself. I’ve grown since then, and sometimes I wish you could see the person I’m becoming. I wish I could know what the breakup was like for you. Did you miss me? Did you ever think about me afterward? Did you ever hear me laughing or see me in class and remember what we used to be? I wish I could read your mind just once. Maybe you don’t feel those things anymore. Maybe you processed everything differently than I did. I don’t know. What I do know is that I loved you. I loved having you in my life. I loved knowing that I had somebody who knew me in a way that other people didn’t. And even though things didn’t work out, I don’t want to pretend that what we had wasn’t important just because it ended. A part of me still wishes you would come back. I wish we could start over not necessarily go back to exactly what we were, but meet each other again as the people we’ve become and see if we could do things differently. But I also know that wanting that doesn’t mean I can make it happen. You mattered to me. I wish things had turned out differently. And I genuinely hope life is good to you, wherever it takes you because you are a great person who deserves great things. I can’t believe you never say what I say in you. You are genuinely one of the sweetest people I have ever meet you are so talented and an amazing signer. I hope you do everything you want in life, and find someone who you love (I guess 😒). I want to move on from you but it’s only because I know I have to. I’m almost there but I have my moments like now, but I hoped i’m released from this yearning soon. Thank you for being such an important part of my life. I hope someday, when you look back on us, you remember the good things too, I think I will always love you and I hope you feel the same about me -Angel

They hate me here, and I need you back. When I'm with you, you make me feel like the most special person in the world. I will always cherish the memories we built together, and I'm sorry for breaking your heart. I know I was wrong, and I'm willing to face the consequences. i miss you, baby. i hope you're happy in heaven, and dont worry i always visit your grave. at least we're equal now, but yours is much worse though, kidding ik i adapt your dark humor, i just missed you so much, baby

I still love you

I wish I could really show you how much I love you, yet I am a nobody compared to her. I am so sorry that I don't have the talent to make it to you. You would never know anyways. But I hope you're happy with her.

My dear Noman, you might think that I don't think about you anymore or I don't love you anymore, but the truth is quiet opposite. You're still the one my heart yearns for. Why do we have to be so far from each other !!

hey red, let me tell you my birthday wish; its you, you are my bday wish, sounds impossible, right? idk too, i just want to be with you on the day of my bday, and ill always wish and wish for you even its not my bday.

I used to really love your name, it was unique, it has a beautiful meaning, and most especially.. it's you. But now, it gives a sharp pain, a sting that's not easy to get rid of. We had a beautiful thing, in span of 850 days, 20,376 hours, 73,353,600 seconds. How did everything change? How did the man who used to cry abt the thought of losing me or ever hurting me suddenly just vanished as if he never existed? The man who comforted me through anything, my nightmares, my cries.. became the cause of my pain? My sweet, loving, caring man who makes sure I'm alright, that it's all okay and I'm doing well just didn't care about me on one random day. The man who promised that it's us against the world suddenly told me he does not want to fix what we had anymore, that he has already moved on. The man who I told about my fears because of my past relationships, the man who knows how much I loathed cheating.. that man cheated on me. Never I have ever thought that it would end between us, bcs of how you make everyday feel like there would be forever for us. Never have I ever thought that the reason that we'd be strangers again was because you betrayed me, you lied to me, you did not choose to tell me everything despite you knowing I would understand it all. Baobei, how did you become so cruel? I hope you know how much I loved you, and I'd be lying if I say that I have gotten rid of that. I gave you everything I could, and funny enough, I'm still willing to wait and start it all over again for us, give us another chance if only you would come and let go everything, be in my arms again. Bcs Jabez, I still believe in you, that one day I am praying that you would be man enough to know the weight of what you have caused, that you can apologize to me with the sincerity I have seen in you before, the genuineness that the Jabez that loved me has. I don't know if you'll ever come across this, but just know that I'm still that woman who loves you for who you are, that I'm here when you decide to actually want to fight for something precious to you. I pray that deep down in your heart, it really isn't just like that for us, that you still want and need us, that us always. You're the worst type of pain and I hope that I am for you too, or that just means you never really did mean everything we just had. I wish it just made me mad at you, that I can be mad at you or ever hate you but no, I don't think so at all. My light, come back to the path we've built if you ever think of us, alright?

dear theju i write this to you to speak abt stuffs that i cdnt thru mail ... fallin from a building hurts , getting beaten hurts , accident hurts but nothing hurts as much as being not with u ......ik im the most hated person in ur life rn and i deserve it i rlly wished the opposute but ig this is what i deserve ....im not chasing u but i chassed long enough to fell down as im a spinless ss u told ... when i close my eyes ntohing comes not the hurtful stuffs not the issues nothing its jus you ur laugh smile face voice the moments we have been i was rlly hurted when u said i was equal to to the person who gave u nughtmares theja i was the one who helped u thru it i heard it made u laugh made u happy safe ya thats righ i did all that those wer the bes moments of my life the way i talked to u the way i cared made apps do u rmember u used to sleep to my stories like a baby and i used tos stay awake for hours incase u have a nightmare i rmemeber all of it all the good moments the penquin bussiness the evrything i rlly love u i miss u i wanna talk more but ig limit

good morning, nicz: ) it's been three weeks and somehow, i still find myself thinking about everything that happened between us. i still miss you. i don't think that's something i need to be ashamed of. u became such a big part of my life, and getting used to not having you around isn't something that happens overnight. there are still moments when i want to tell you something about my day or when something reminds me of you. i don't regret loving you or giving us a chance. what we had was real, and you made me feel understood, cared for, and safe to be myself. maybe we just weren't ready to make enough space for each other while chasing our own dreams. i wanted you to be my last, but sometimes loving someone means knowing when to let go. three weeks later, i still miss you, but i'm learning to move forward while being grateful that i got to love you. take care always, nico. i love you baby.

Ryooo, happy third monthsary yaaa. im really grateful we made this far, even tho we ended things at a bad term. aku sebenarnya ga benci kamu kok, i miss you everyday, i wonder how youre doing, i look at our old chats and think, lucu banget ya kita dulu begini. sebenarnya aku sayang banget sama kamu, kamu tetap ada di hati aku, because youre one of the most precious person in my life. im really grateful i met you, i know i wont be able to call you sayang again, but just know im here cheering for you from afar, seeing you be succsesful in life with me, be happy and healthy always ya ryo, im here if you need me. youve been the best person in my life, always supportive, always making time for me, even tho i know you wony be able to do the same thing to me now. there were a lot of obvious signs that i deeply miss you, but you probably didnt noticed wkwk. semangat ya ryo sayangg. that will be the last time ill ever call you that. haru selalu cinta ryoo.

sadly feels empty these days after the day we see each other, she`s now forget about me... it hurts but im trying to talk to her but suddenly i badly felt guilty bc she`s busy and im bothering her. i just wanted to feel her presence even we`re both busy at school these days.. i know im oa but can`t stop thinking of our communication problem..am i wrong?? of thinking this or bothering myself about this?? pano ako hahah i know it sounds weird bakit pinoproblema ko to syempre priority ko rin tong relasyon nato kaya nga ako nag commit hindi para maging unfair.. kalungkot fvck :(( sawa kana ba?? sobrang unimportant koba??

I want to talk to you every day. This past year has been so hard for me, I've grown and changed in so many ways... The only person I want to share that with is you. And you're gone... I regret how things ended, and I know you painted me that way to cope... but... I know you loved me. I know you loved me, too. Maybe that's enough. I love you, bug. Ewan

It’s been almost two years and i still think about you almost every day. I still dream about you. I dreamt about you last night. I miss you so much. I watch your old YouTube videos so that I can hear the sound of your voice. I wish you could’ve told me before you disappeared. I’m not sure if it was something i did, if you didn’t like me anymore, but just something would’ve been nice. I was so sad after. I saw that you had a girlfriend recently, and I’m happy for you. Whereas i still feel like i haven’t moved on even though we were never actually dating. I feel like it really could’ve gone somewhere. You were the first and only person to make me feel truly understood. I felt like I could be weird around you, and you’d match my energy and be even weirder. I miss you so much. I used to listen to ‘I’m low on gas and you need a jacket’ when we talked and I remember thinking, one day if we stop talking i wonder if he’ll forget the colour of my eyes. Have you? I remember yours. The most gorgeous honey brown.