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it's getting bad again, mom. why won't you believe me? why do you think that me for being a teen i don't feel anxious or depressed? mom, i'm trying, i swear, why don't you trust me?

Jesus Loves you

i hate you so much:( how can i move on? tell me, how can i forget you?:(

I feel like you’re not as interested in me as i am in you. You’re very easy to be around but i wish you were more intentional about me, and expressive about what you want. I know its only been 2 weeks since we started talking but i dont know

I miss you, Cadal. It is the truth so heavy that I can neither utter nor tell—that neither words nor action can bear its weight fully. Every day, I consume myself with the yearning to hear that echo of voice again. Every hour, I ached, condemning myself but I cannot stop craving to see that beautiful face of yours. Every second, I find myself craving that gentle touch when the midnight settles over my bed.. I'm writing this in a breathless haste, torn away by reality. But hear this, I will always be here. Even though this waiting hurts, the emptiness bleeds. I understand. So, please, understand that you can return to me. No matter how deeply you pained me. No matter how many scars you left behind. Nothing cuts deeper than the agony of knowing you believe I hate you. I never could. Come back when you're ready. Or don't. Maybe destiny dictates, do not come back after all if you found a shelter in someone else's arms. I will bear that silence. As long as you're truly happy. But never doubt that my heart will forever remain yours. I still love you. And I'm sorry for that. - From the person you had loved and yet hated, A.N

If only you knew...

hi, i miss you.

I really hope one day you realise what your lack of consideration did to me what your words meant to me whatever your intentions were with me I hope you understand what you did. I hope still that you come back I don’t know why because you hurt me so much you made me shutdown and shut out so much I used to welcome into my life. I feel like im never going to be capable of love I’ve tried so many times and told you how unlucky I was with it but you still took everything I gave you and completely wrecked it I was happier before I met you and a lot more mentally sound now it’s not the same anymore I still see you in everything even tho I’ve tried to escape it all. I really did love you Alex a lot but you broke me. I don’t see life in me anymore I just see someone who always gets hurt and taken advantage of and you was the deepest hurt I’ve felt from this even now with all this time that has passed. Please if you do come back come correct and tell me I wasn’t fighting that whole time for nothing and to actually try but if it’s not that Please leave me alone forever. I’ll always love you and miss you and hope that one day my feelings actually reached you :(

I met this guy through a friend we both broke of bc of toxic reasons; he kept sharing his feelings about me, and I started liking his company, even started to wait for the next time we would talk. Today he un-added me and then left the gc. We are both in; I'm confused about what to do. Why do I care? Why? I feel like I shouldn't care, but I think I do. I hope I get some advice or a message from the universe.

Yestoo ramroo smile huda huda runu hunna ni malkin , stay smile in and im sorry malking you sadd . I didn't meant it sachii mei ❤️...... maafi pam , wont repeat it from nowwww

I am sorry. I never meant for this to happen. I am so sorry. I hated myself for doing what we did to us, I couldn't look myself in the eyes for what I was to tell you -what i told you that day- I am sorry. I still feel home with you. It cut me to write you didn't feel home. I have my own reasons. I am sorry I did it at such a crucial time in your life, no amount of 'sorry' will ever ease the guilt I feel. I miss you, god i miss you so much. I hated doing it. I am helpless, my hand being forced into someone elses. It would have hurt you more to like me and think I had to go to someone else when I told you I would be yours. I think it would hurt you less and enrage you more to think I did not understand your point of view. Love tears you apart but rage keeps you breathing. Rage makes you feel alive and I want you to be alive. I want you to go around and experience everything. The sunsets and the sunrise and everything in between. I hope you go long way. Hope your find a family of your own in someone, and when you do, I hope it works in your favour for you deserve all the happiness in the world. Had it been in my hands, I would have fought tooth and nail to be with you, but it's not. I miss you with each breathing gulp of air and I... I think this is how love feels. -rawr

Drag me through the dirt cut me to the bone Leave me for dead and laugh your way back home I'd still be smiling, like a madman in the rain And I would love you just the same.

I am sorry, I pushed you away again and again and when its turn to finally let you go it has become really difficult to do so, you have probably moved on which is a good thing but I can't, even with the distance between us I felt we could work it out, but it did not. I felt really bad to not wish you on your birthday, it has been several months and I feel like I don't even know you anymore. I wish the best for you, I really do. I don't even know if we will talk again but I am sorry for everything, I gave a thought to our relationship and how it went over the course of these several past years and I feel majority of the times I ran away from the conversation which could have easily been solved if i simply communicated, I am sorry I ruined what we had, I don't feel we should be together even if we get another chance I don't think I will change. I really do not know what to say to you or even see you anymore, I can't seem to remember your face, your voice and it feels really empty, but I hope you have moved onto better things in life, I am sorry to not wish you again on your birthday as well but happy belated birthday I guess, wish you nothing but the best.

‎Hello, Amyra. ‎ ‎Baby, this might be the last time na mag-message ako sa'yo. Hahahaha. I’m truly sorry for all the broken promises I made and for everything I’ve done that hurt you. I’m sorry for the times when I failed to understand your side fully, for the moments when I made you feel unheard, and for the times when my actions didn’t match the love and promises I gave you. I know that saying sorry won’t undo the pain I caused, but I want you to know that I genuinely regret the things I did that hurt you. ‎ ‎Thank you, thank you so much for all the memories and lessons we shared with each other. I hope that someday, we can both grow from everything we went through, even if we have to do it separately. Thank you for your family and for welcoming me so warmly into your lives. I will never forget how kindly they treated me and how they made me feel like I was one of their own. I will always be grateful for that. Thank you, too, for treating my family with kindness and love. I appreciate it more than words can explain. ‎ ‎I appreciate you so much, Cha. Your presence, your love, your efforts, your kindness, and every little thing about you will always mean something to me. You became such a beautiful part of my life, and I will always be thankful that our paths crossed, even if they might not cross again someday. I sincerely hope that life gives you the happiness, peace, and love you have always been looking for. I hope that someday, you find the kind of love you truly deserve, someone who will love you gently, understand you even when things get difficult, and treat you better than I did. Someone who will keep the promises they make to you and never make you question whether you are worth the effort. Someone who will choose you, not just when things are easy, but even when loving you requires patience, understanding, and sacrifice. ‎ ‎Cha, I love you, sobra. You know how deep my love for you is, and I don’t think words will ever be enough to explain just how much you mean to me. Even if this is where our story ends, please know that what I felt for you was real. I loved you with all that I had, even if there were times when I failed to show it in the ways you needed and deserved. I’m sorry that there were parts of our love that I couldn’t take care of properly. If there is one thing I wish I could have done better, it would be loving you in a way that made you feel safe, understood, appreciated, and assured that you were never alone. ‎ ‎And, baby, please, stop wasting your time on things and people that only drain you or make you forget your worth. Please don’t neglect yourself just because life gets too heavy. Don’t forget to eat on time, get enough rest, and take care of yourself, especially on the days when you feel like you can’t handle everything anymore. Please be gentle with yourself. Don’t be too hard on yourself when things don’t go the way you want them to. I hope you never lose yourself trying to make other people happy, and I hope you always remember that you deserve the same love and care that you so willingly give to others. ‎ ‎Sana, kahit wala na ako sa tabi mo, huwag mong pababayaan ang sarili mo, ha? Please keep choosing yourself, even on the days when it feels difficult. Huwag mong kalimutang alagaan ang sarili mo, kasi mahalaga ka. You are worth so much more than you sometimes realize, and I hope you never settle for anything less than the love, respect, and happiness you deserve. I may no longer be the person who gets to remind you of these things, but I sincerely hope that you never forget them. ‎ ‎I hope you continue chasing your dreams, reaching your goals, and becoming the person you have always wanted to be. I hope you find reasons to smile even on the days when everything feels heavy. And whenever life gets difficult, I hope you remember that you have already survived so many things, and you are capable of getting through so much more. Please don't give up on yourself, Cha. There is still so much beautiful life waiting for you. ‎ ‎I wish I could have loved you better. I wish I could have kept every promise I made and given you the kind of love that would have made you feel certain about us. I wish things had turned out differently for us. But maybe, despite how much we love each other, there are things we need to learn and parts of ourselves we need to heal separately. And as much as it hurts, I think I have to accept that. ‎ ‎Please know that letting you go doesn't mean that you suddenly became less important to me. It doesn't mean that the memories we shared no longer matter, or that the love I have for you will simply disappear. It only means that I am learning to accept what I can no longer change. And if walking away is what will finally give us the space to grow, heal, and find the peace we need, then I hope that someday, we will understand why things had to happen this way. ‎ ‎I will always pray for your happiness, even if I am no longer part of it. I hope life treats you kindly, and I hope that whenever you look back on us, you remember not only the pain but also the beautiful moments we shared. I hope you remember that, at some point in our lives, we loved each other, tried our best, and created memories that will always be a part of who we are. ‎ ‎I love you so much, Cha. Sobra-sobra. And if this really is the last time I get to tell you how much I love you, then I want you to know that you were never just an ordinary person in my life. You were someone I genuinely loved, someone I cared for deeply, and someone I once imagined spending so much of my life with. ‎ ‎Thank you for being part of my life, baby. Thank you for the love, the memories, the lessons, and for being you. I'm sorry for the pain I caused you, and I hope that someday, when the hurt is no longer as heavy, we can both look back on what we had with peaceful hearts. ‎ ‎Goodbye, my Cha. Please take care of yourself for me, okay? Be happy, keep growing, and never forget how worthy you are of a love that will never make you question your place in someone's life. ‎ ‎I love you, always. And even if I can no longer say those words to you every day, a part of me will always be grateful that, for a time, I got to love you and call you mine.

Dear Mani, Oh Mani, you were my very best friend, and my first love, we were inseparable, everyone knew it was, everyone knew in the end it would be you and me over anyone else. You and I just started talking and hanging out again after everything we went through together. The way you looked at me on Friday, and when I would look at you, you would smile so hard. And suddenly it all came flooding back, all our memories together flashed in my mind. I felt pure joy, that I hadn’t felt in a while. Speaking to you for just a moment reminded me why I chose you, why you were my first love, why we were a dynamic duo, why we were legendary lovers, why everyone wanted to have what we had. And I remembered why I love you so much, and why anytime I’m with anyone else it all comes back to you, because you are my person, you are the guy for me And I’ll be here waiting until you realise that I’m your girl and always have been ❤️

I wish I knew what you were thinking. We barely talk, and maybe all the little things I notice mean nothing to you, but sometimes you make me wonder if you feel something too. And I hate how much I’ve started thinking about it, because somewhere between all the confusion and wondering, I think I’ve started liking you. Maybe I’m completely wrong. Maybe you’ll never even see this. But if there really is something between us, I wish you’d be brave enough to find out. You don’t need some perfect confession or a big romantic moment. Just talk to me. Come up to me when you see me, message me, give me something real instead of leaving me to wonder. I promise I’m probably just as nervous as you are. And if I’ve imagined all of this, that’s okay. I’d rather know and finally let it go than keep searching for meaning in every little thing you do. But if you do like me, please don’t wait forever. I’m right here.

I wish I knew what you were thinking. We barely talk, and maybe all the little things I notice mean nothing to you, but sometimes you make me wonder if you feel something too. And I hate how much I’ve started thinking about it, because somewhere between all the confusion and wondering, I think I’ve started liking you. Maybe I’m completely wrong. Maybe you’ll never even see this. But if there really is something between us, I wish you’d be brave enough to find out. You don’t need some perfect confession or a big romantic moment. Just talk to me. Come up to me when you see me, message me, give me something real instead of leaving me to wonder. I promise I’m probably just as nervous as you are. And if I’ve imagined all of this, that’s okay. I’d rather know and finally let it go than keep searching for meaning in every little thing you do. But if you do like me, please don’t wait forever. I’m right here.

i lied about being fine. I cried. i cried when I thought about us. i feel meaningless. I deleted that message thinking you'd want to know. but maybe I'm too much of a hopeless romantic after all. I love you Jilly.

Please read this to the end. I dated other girls. I slept with other girls. Dating Sarah was probably the most fucked up thing I did. I used her and every other girl as a cheap, pathetic distraction just to try and wipe you out of my head. I like you. Since god knows when. How the fuck am I supposed to like someone whose poop I've seen?? I was possessive and overprotective toward every single guy you ever dated. It got so bad and irrational that I even caught myself getting jealous over your own brothers just for talking to you. I've been with a lot of girl but I've never had the balls to touch you. Mostly cause you're a woman to me. It terrifies me looking at you now at 20. You aren't the innocent kid I grew up with anymore it genuinely scares the shit out of me. When I asked you if you ever did anything physical with Ammar and you gave me that coy "ada la, u cannot know". I lost my mind and punched the wall until my knuckles bled because I was so terrified of being replaced by him. Then when you casually brought up going down to Johor, saying "It's fine, I have Ammar to drive me around". Book hotel pulak tu. I spent so much time panicking that you would lose your first kiss or sacrifice your virginity to some random guy that would fucking destroy me. The small stuff..The day at the pool when you casually took off your shirt to swim I had to immediately lock my eyes onto the wet concrete tiles because my chest stopped. When you were sick and I typed a text six times and deleted all six. Your birthday, you hugged everyone the same way and I got annoyed about it. The moment Cindy broke up with me because she knew I was never actually present and the very first person I wanted to call to tell was you. When Sarah asked why I always remembered your coffee order better than hers. When poppy was sick and you called me crying from the vet’s car park. And the times I hit you over nothing. You flinch at raised hands. But aku still pukul kau. Aku ingat lagi kat kedai makan. You rolled your sleeve up to reach the sambal and there's a bruise on your forearm, aku yang buat. Farah goes "weh what happened to your arm." and you didn't even look at me. You told them you fell down the stairs. Fell down the stairs. From a person you see four times a week. I didn't correct you. Didn't say a word. You covered for me like it was reflex and I let you like it was reflex. That's us. That's always been us. Kawan jenis apa aku ni raff.. This is probably gonna ruin the friendship but I already ruined everything between us anyway so I don't give a fuck anymore.I’ve liked you for a long time and I’m sorry I was such an asshole about it. I know I probably have no chance. Take care

მიყვარს გულწრფელობა და იმის პირდაპირ თქმა, რასაც ვფიქრობ… როცა შენს თვალებში ვიყურები, ჭკუიდან ვიშლები… წარმოვიდგენ, რომ ჩემს გვერდით ხარ — სწორედ ეს მინდა. ზოგჯერ კი ისეთი სურვილი მიჩნდება, რომ გითხრა, როგორ მიყვარხარ… შენ ჩემს ფოტოს იღებ, მაშინ როცა ჩემი ხმა დინამიკიდან ისმის. თუ შენ ჩემი პირადი ნარკოტიკი ხარ, მაშინ სასწრაფოდ მჭირდება შენი სიყვარულის ზედოზირება… ჩვენ ორივე ვგრძნობთ, რომ ბევრი სიტყვის თქმა საჭირო არ არის. თვალებით საუბარი ნებისმიერ არსებულ სიტყვაზე ძლიერია… და ჰო… იმედი მაქვს, უარს არ მეტყვი, როცა გკითხავ, გინდა თუ არა ჩემთან სექსი. დრო გადის, აწმყო კი უკვდავია… წარსული უკან მოვიტოვეთ და მომავალი ერთად შევქმენით… ბევრი მეუბნება, რომ უცნაურად ვიქცევი… მაგრამ შენი სურნელი ისე მათრობს, რომ, ჯანდაბა, თავბრუ მეხვევა… და მე მხოლოდ ერთი სურვილი მაქვს… თუ რეინკარნაცია არსებობს, მინდა, შემდეგ ცხოვრებაშიც ჩემი მამაკაცი იყო… ჩვენს შორის მომხდარი აშკარად უბრალო დამთხვევა არ ყოფილა… ჩვენს შორის არც ერთი მანძილი არ არის ზედმეტად დიდი. ყველაფერი, რაც მინდა, შენი მკლავების სითბოში ყოფნაა… ნება მომეცი, შენი კანის სურნელში გავეხვიო…