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Hi coco ( this is a nickname you don't know you have from last month exactly), I just can't do it anymore, the constant posh and pull, its ruining me. After years of pretending and years of not pretending that your this trait of randomly leaving me on wait affects me. But i guess you can never change a person if they don't even realize they need to. I have realized that i was never a priority, and never will be, no matter how many times you say otherwise but darling actions speak louder than words. Always. Because priorities don't wait for excuses. Khair, all of this doesn't matter anymore. This is me trying to let you go, this is me letting you free of myself. At this time when i have left no one to turn to, don't let me keep you too. Keep being busy untill you find me no more. This is me being free of expectations (again).This is me wanting to see you free, happy and burden less. This is me being selfless. This is me loving you. This is me being me. Forever and ever never a priority. I hope you'll forgive me this hurts you, if me prioritizing myself bothers you, i hope you'll let me go easily. Happy memories. Goodbye, be happy <3 Ps; we'll still talk, we'll still share reels, songs that feel good songs that hurt too good, but this is me trying to let you go.
I love you but sometimes I can't help wonder if you're truly willing to wait that long for us, And I can't help wonder if these feelings will last. I want a successful future with you and I pray and hope we end up together till the end.
i love you so much, i can’t do this unrequited love anymore. i hate this so badly, i want nothing more than to be with you while you know that and don’t want be. i swear at one point you felt the same way. what’s different now?
Dear S, I am closing the book on this chapter today, not out of lingering anger or resentment, but out of absolute clarity. For months, I carried the weight of what happened: the sudden silence, the broken trust, the gaslighting, and the pain of realizing how easily a deep connection could be discarded for shallow validation. I spent countless hours trying to make sense of the loop, searching for answers, and wondering how two people who clicked so effortlessly could end up on opposite sides of a divide. I used to think I was the one who was left behind or not chosen. But looking at the facts with a calm mind, the reality is much simpler: we were two fundamentally incompatible people operating on vastly different core values. I valued depth, loyalty, and genuine emotional honesty. You operated in a world of digital smoke and mirrors, surface-level validation, and shifting alliances. A bridge built on thin ice could never hold us for long. I acknowledge my own mistakes...the anxious loops, the defensiveness, and the ways I let my boundaries collapse to keep a fragile dynamic alive. But those mistakes were lessons, not a life sentence. The intensity and depth I brought to our friendship didn't come from you; it came from my own soul. I am taking all of that energy, creativity, and capacity for loyalty back. It belongs to me. I no longer feel the sharp sting of betrayal, nor do I feel the need to look for unsent words on quiet screens. The emotional charge has cleared. What you do, who you talk to, and how you live your life is no longer my narrative to trace or decode. This is the last time your name takes up space in my thoughts or my journals. The door is closed, the gates are locked, and your memory is finally laid to rest. I wish you well on whatever path you choose, but our shared story ends right here. From Someone You Used To Know
hello bbg , lifes ....messed up isnt it? ...sometimes it feels that u cant even sleep from some stupid anxiety from a stupid ahh thing and sometimes you remember u are loved by a certain chocolate brown haired ,lovely ,sweet as Aaron warner might be -capricorn??? surely one of the greatest goals feels achieved when I remember this ,am pathetically sorry for not being online...insta lowkey depresses me ...lifes honestly a lil messed up for me nowadays ...i cant even read the way i used to...but dw i will fix it all , I promise to try to be more online T-T . YOURE MY SAFE PLACE ZOYE MOYE. passionate kisses (yes am a freak) -YOURS MOST ARDENTLY MAHEEN or heen or whatever .
TAKE CARE, BEANER BABIE. LOVE YOU, AND THANK YOU FOR CROSSING MY PATH, MAKING ME LAUGH, AND NOT JUDGING TOO HARSHLY. BUT I FEAR THERE IS A CYCLE HERE. I DIDN'T MEAN TO BREAK YOUR HEART OR LEAD YOU ON, I JUST THINK YOU'RE COOL. THANKS FOR ALLOWING ME INTO YOUR VILLAGE.LOVE, SHANNON HARLEY SERENITY STAR TANKA.THANK YOU SINCERELY, AND THANK YOU TO YOUR FAMILY—MAY THEY CONTINUE TO BE BLESSED FOR GENERATIONS TO COME. REMEMBER: LOVE LIKE JESUS, AND STAND UP FOR WHAT YOU BELIEVE IN LIKE THE MORNING STAR, BECAUSE SOME SACRIFICES REQUIRE A FALL FROM GRACE. BUT THAT'S THE PART—TO FALL FROM GRACE AND LAND ON YOUR FEET, WAS IT REALLY A FALL OR A MISTAKE?144 MAKE THE WORLD SHAKE, BABY!† ------------------------------------ †If you need any changes to the layout or want me to tweak the word art style, just let me know.
i dont like you. you were a terrible friend to me. you and the other two. its cool though. im hurt because of the betrayal, the time i put into yall, and allat. i didnt deserve that. all the sneak dissing, i did it back. sure did. lets just leave each others lives quietly. i would hate to have to take it there for real.
try muna ok pasensya may limit pala to naknangtokwa talaga
Hello and good evening, Mahal; I don’t know where I should start this message, but I want you to know that this is all about me apologizing for everything. For the things that I did and the things that I failed to do that brought us to this situation once again. And yes, I’ve read your message for me on the STS application/website. First, I want to say sorry for making you feel that way—to the point that you started thinking that maybe we should break up, and that you needed to stop talking to me because you felt like I’m still not fully healed from my past. But I want to be clear about this, baby: I am healed. I have already moved on from my past. I don’t love him, and I’m not thinking about him anymore. I don’t want you to feel like you have to compete with someone from my past, because you don’t. My focus is on us, on our relationship, and on you. I am more in love with you than I can ever explain. I understand where you’re coming from, baby. I know you have trust issues because of what someone from your past made you go through, and I understand why certain things can make you overthink and become scared of being hurt again. I also understand why you’re mad at my friends, and at me as well, especially because of the disrespect and the things that happened that made you feel hurt and uncomfortable. I know I can’t tell you how you should feel about it. You have every right to be angry and hurt. And instead of defending myself or making excuses, I should have listened to you and understood your side better. I’m sorry if there were moments when I made you feel like your feelings weren’t important or that I wasn’t taking your pain seriously. Second, about what happened during the swimming. I am very sorry that I didn’t do anything when I should have. Please believe me when I say that I was worried about you at that time. I cared about you, and I still care about you so much. But I also know that caring about you isn’t enough if I don’t act when you need me. I understand why you acted the way you did afterward, and I understand why you’re still hurt by what happened. It wasn’t that long ago, and I know that something like that doesn’t just disappear because time has passed. I know that you were already hurting from that day, and I’m sorry that instead of making you feel safe and supported, I failed to do what I should have done. Honestly, I’ve been thinking about why I didn’t do what I wanted to do at that moment. Maybe part of me wanted to stay and spend more time with my classmates because it felt like one of the last opportunities I had to be with them. But even if that was what I was thinking at the time, I know that it doesn’t change what happened, and it doesn’t erase the fact that you needed me. I should have prioritized you and your feelings. I’m sorry, Mahal. Lastly, I badly wanted to help you heal from the things that have traumatized you. I wanted to be someone who could make you feel safe, loved, and understood. But I know now that I can’t simply “heal” your trauma for you. What I can do is be patient with you, listen to you, understand you, and make sure that my actions don’t add more pain to what you’re already carrying. And I’m sorry because there were times when I failed to be the good girlfriend you deserved. I know that saying sorry isn’t enough to fix everything, and I don’t expect you to suddenly forget everything just because I apologized. I know that I have to prove through my actions that I really mean what I’m saying. I badly want to make things right between us. I want to correct the mistakes I made, learn from them, and do better—not just because I’m scared of losing you, but because I genuinely want to become a better partner for you. I want to communicate better, listen better, understand you better, and be more mindful of how my actions affect you. I don’t want to force you to forgive me right away, and I don’t want to pressure you into talking to me if you still need time. I just want you to know that I’m here, and I’m willing to give you the time and space you need. If there’s still a chance for us, I want to work for it. I want us to fix what we can, heal together, and build our relationship again with more understanding, trust, and love. I love you so much, Mahal. I’m truly sorry for everything I did, everything I failed to do, and for every time I made you feel hurt, unsafe, or unimportant. I really hope that we can still work things out. I don’t want to lose you, and I don’t want to give up on us. I love you, and I’m willing to do better for you and for us.
Hello and good evening, Mahal; I don’t know where I should start this message, but I want you to know that this is all about me apologizing for everything. For the things that I did and the things that I failed to do that brought us to this situation once again. And yes, I’ve read your message for me on the STS application/website. First, I want to say sorry for making you feel that way—to the point that you started thinking that maybe we should break up, and that you needed to stop talking to me because you felt like I’m still not fully healed from my past. But I want to be clear about this, baby: I am healed. I have already moved on from my past. I don’t love him, and I’m not thinking about him anymore. I don’t want you to feel like you have to compete with someone from my past, because you don’t. My focus is on us, on our relationship, and on you. I am more in love with you than I can ever explain. I understand where you’re coming from, baby. I know you have trust issues because of what someone from your past made you go through, and I understand why certain things can make you overthink and become scared of being hurt again. I also understand why you’re mad at my friends, and at me as well, especially because of the disrespect and the things that happened that made you feel hurt and uncomfortable. I know I can’t tell you how you should feel about it. You have every right to be angry and hurt. And instead of defending myself or making excuses, I should have listened to you and understood your side better. I’m sorry if there were moments when I made you feel like your feelings weren’t important or that I wasn’t taking your pain seriously. Second, about what happened during the swimming. I am very sorry that I didn’t do anything when I should have. Please believe me when I say that I was worried about you at that time. I cared about you, and I still care about you so much. But I also know that caring about you isn’t enough if I don’t act when you need me. I understand why you acted the way you did afterward, and I understand why you’re still hurt by what happened. It wasn’t that long ago, and I know that something like that doesn’t just disappear because time has passed. I know that you were already hurting from that day, and I’m sorry that instead of making you feel safe and supported, I failed to do what I should have done. Honestly, I’ve been thinking about why I didn’t do what I wanted to do at that moment. Maybe part of me wanted to stay and spend more time with my classmates because it felt like one of the last opportunities I had to be with them. But even if that was what I was thinking at the time, I know that it doesn’t change what happened, and it doesn’t erase the fact that you needed me. I should have prioritized you and your feelings. I’m sorry, Mahal. Lastly, I badly wanted to help you heal from the things that have traumatized you. I wanted to be someone who could make you feel safe, loved, and understood. But I know now that I can’t simply “heal” your trauma for you. What I can do is be patient with you, listen to you, understand you, and make sure that my actions don’t add more pain to what you’re already carrying. And I’m sorry because there were times when I failed to be the good girlfriend you deserved. I know that saying sorry isn’t enough to fix everything, and I don’t expect you to suddenly forget everything just because I apologized. I know that I have to prove through my actions that I really mean what I’m saying. I badly want to make things right between us. I want to correct the mistakes I made, learn from them, and do better—not just because I’m scared of losing you, but because I genuinely want to become a better partner for you. I want to communicate better, listen better, understand you better, and be more mindful of how my actions affect you. I don’t want to force you to forgive me right away, and I don’t want to pressure you into talking to me if you still need time. I just want you to know that I’m here, and I’m willing to give you the time and space you need. If there’s still a chance for us, I want to work for it. I want us to fix what we can, heal together, and build our relationship again with more understanding, trust, and love. I love you so much, Mahal. I’m truly sorry for everything I did, everything I failed to do, and for every time I made you feel hurt, unsafe, or unimportant. I really hope that we can still work things out. I don’t want to lose you, and I don’t want to give up on us. I love you, and I’m willing to do better for you and for us.
haloo aku mencintai kamu suka bgt balsba h
haii aku suka banget sama kamuu
When someone asks me why do you think so much? Is there even a use to sit up late at night and overthink about the things there's absolutely no control over? What the purpose of even letting go when you know that there was nothing to hold onto anyways? What do you think of when you close your eyes. Do you sometimes think of a person who is probably available in the blink of an eye? Is there even a person like that? What do you do when you have a million unanswered questions and you have nobody to turn to? How does it feels when you're the unchosen one yet again? How does it feel like when you're not chosen in the end anyways even when there's a choice to be chosen, but people opt out because although you are total comfort, you're not worth the end, you're not worth the effort, not worth the journey to take you there? I blink in the darkness at night because I feel there's nowhere I belong at the end of the day, not chosen by any person, I take risks for the whole world innocently tricking my brain knowing very well i'll be hurt in the end, that this person is worth taking the risk. What when it comes to me about the risk is question? Well people take the risk once and then fear creeps in and no matter how hard I try, every little thing I do sits on the bench while their fear, their cowardice comes forth, they want me, they want what I have, it's useful to trick me into using me for what I am, and then it's easy because battling my fragile short lived ego fueled temper is easier than faithfully holding my hand. My anxiety spirals my heartbeat into a frenzy. My anxiety's name is Michael, sometimes through my blurry vision, my hazy thoughts I see Michael and I want to ask him to go, I want to ask him to leave, I tell him now is not a good time, my conversations with Michael aren't easy because he's the only imagination that refuses to leave me, I want to hurl something at him because he provokes me beyond what I gave him credit for and sometimes he just sits there by my side on the bathroom floor coping wth me in my silence. I appreciate that, it's healthy to have Michael with me instead of rotting internally alone. Michael tells me how unworthy I am of their choosing and how easy it was to just shake off my presence, and I agree with him. Michael and I have an exercise but he disappears amidst it never staying through it, till the very end, these exercises include counting random numbers, putting together lyrics from different songs and trying to make a tune, listing all the colors coming to my vision. Michael leaves because I do these exercises that might make him disappear. I'm trying I'm trying very hard to throw Michael out of the window. Sometimes it scares me to think how I within the flap of a bird wing, I'm ready to throw my life because of my affection related reactions, I'm willing to throw everything I do for work just let my fate sit on the cold winter window sill waiting to see if someone out there also wants to return the affection I give. This is why I pray to Lord Shiva himself because he let's you connect with yourself and most importanly he teaches you pain before you let go something you wanted desperately but someone who didn't have the guts to want you. I've failed many a times to keep a human and then people say yes it's because they didn't know your worth? Well even if they did, I was not worth taking that risk and this is what Michael reminds me everyday, you're useless, you're unworthy and you weren't chosen, you weren't even an option, you were a passing cloud. I wanted to be the sky, I wanted to be the sunrise and the sunset, I wanted to be the comforting breeze just before the rain, I wanted to be the shade of the umbrella, I wanted to be the aroma when you enter the house, I wanted to be the warmth of the blanket just before waking up, I want to be the first sip of coffee, I wanted to be the ending of the story that'll make you smile, I want to be home.
I wasn't in the headspace at the time to be in a relationship. You came so unexpectedly. Thank you, mutual friend. I never knew I wanted a real family until I met you. Isn't it crazy how, after you meet someone, you start thinking abt it all? I know we both were so far away from each other. 20-24 hrs. But that didn't stop us. It was your first question after I confessed I liked you on the call. It didn't take me long to like you, even off text. You were very dry on text when I met you, but you really changed. I almost lost you for a mere moment. But something kept me going. I still was trying. You would send pictures of yourself often, face selfies, voice memos as well. And you wanted to have a call. You were the most extroverted person I've ever met in my life on call. I guess you can't judge somebody off text. One call grew to many, and a couple hours grew to seven. You made me love calling so much. I didn't even want to text you because I wanted to hear your voice in the moment. I was so close-minded, but you opened me to so many more possibilities. Even online, I pushed myself for you. I would mimic what you did unto me. We were so alike and very mature for our age. We had the same morals and beliefs. I never knew that after only a few months, you feel like they're the person that you can marry. And we tried—we tried really hard, everything that we could, to get married. We both loved each other so much. If there was only one thing that we disagreed on, it was the God that we believed in. I even tried converting for you, after I turned that one down the first time around, I still wanted interfaith, I wanted to make it work. You know, I thought that was the whole reason alone why we couldn't work, but I guess not everything's so one-sided. I figured out I never even would have had a chance because your family was the source of the decision, I wasnt muslim. You both confirmed that on our hour and a half call. I needed to know, so I didn't have any regrets from when I turned it down the first time. Thinking if I was prepared, would the yes at the start change anything? No. It wouldn't. The truth is, I knew all along the answer was a no for us, but I still tried. I felt such a heavy weight on my chest, and I knew that it wouldn't sit right with me if we proceeded. 6 people mutually agreed. That doesn't means a lot. I know we were saved from much trouble. Your religion is so strict and different. What are the odds that nothing would go wrong. We knew. I know the first no was the smartest thing from me. But when you're so deeply attached to a person, you want to try to do anything, even if it means risking it all for them. I wish we started through your dad, not you. I didn't know that you both were so intertwined. Your dad would help you with this guidance, much needed. He was the wisest of us all. This experience told me that it's very important, especially for someone from a vastly different culture, to really go through parents first. We would have saved ourselves some time and It wouldn't hurt so much. It also tells me that even though you were so smart, knowledgeable, aligned, and disciplined, you didn't even know what you were doing because you were in love as well. I can't blame you, but you told us that we had a chance. The truth is, we never did because I wasn't Muslim. You told me it's preferable, not impossible. And I am Christian, I know your dad previously mentioned that, if everything aligns, we could end up with each other. But distance was also a very huge factor. Guess not everything aligned. I feel a little bit conflicted because your dad got in the way of a lot of your own decisions, but I know he saved you, too. That doesn't go discounted. We talked about a life with no rules. We wanted to escape into this fantasy, we loved each other so much. Even after the first time around, the decision was made. We still kept in touch for four weeks, but it was a very strange dynamic. We both were still processing everything, and we still loved each other. It's like we didn't want it to end. But it was all wrong for us to keep in touch because there were mixed feelings and hope still left, and I feel like we would have done something very unholy with each other if we met up. When we were texting, it didn't feel like we were actually healing and moving on. It's like we kept each other apart from that. I didn't feel right about it, and I knew that we should stop what we were doing. But how could we if we were so addicted to each other, and we had fun doing it, and I couldn't say no to you? I wanted everything to be without any boundaries. There's no fun in that. After the second decision came around and your dad actually got involved again, silence has been the only thing I've been most familiar with. I don't think we'll ever return to even that stage again, because that has passed and it just didn't work for us. We were in a very gray area. I've been thinking to myself. It's not that I don't regret not being grateful, but I kind of wish I was still texting you. Because I miss you so much, and I don't wake up to any of your texts anymore, and it's like we're strangers again. I don't have much going in my life without you. You're the one doing all the work, studying and all. But I know we had to go through this again to really smack us back into a sense of reality. You see, there was never just friends. It was always mixed. And at this point, I don't think we have anything to gain being friends because once you get married, we're not gonna even call anymore. It's gonna be over forever. I know there's still time between, and it makes you think it would be best to keep them along for the ride before all of that. But I just don't know if I could trust myself with you and say no to you. Your dad told you to limit contact with me, and it's best. Prefer to never talk again. I see you were really listening this time. It's been three days since I've heard from you. I don't think I'm gonna initiate anything, but I did mention on the call that I at least wanted to keep the weekly calls because they were very special. I still wish that we texted during the week, but I feel like texting is a lot more concentrated, and we could get caught up a little bit easier. As the days go by, I'm even contemplating weekly calls. It's like I want everything at once. I know if you texted me, I would follow your lead and I would be open to it, but I just don't know if I could take that first initiative. I think I'm secretly waiting for you. Your dad and you have come to an agreement that it's up to me what I want to do with us at the end. But isn't that just a polite way of letting go? Saying goodbye? I think it's best if we both put effort into it, and we all know when a girl leads, nothing goes forward. Has to be mutual. If you don't initiate this week's call, then that's it forever. Nothing will come from me. I would take it as a sign to move on. You always initiated every call. I know you said it's not like we'll never text, but what is the fun of limiting messages with each other if we can't have it fully in a way where we can do what we want and text at any given time? Sometimes I hate how you're such a little puppy with your father. But I wish you actually followed your potential wife's lead. Maybe if you weren't so brainwashed by your father, things would be different. That's just a little bit of my anger speaking out. I find myself still waiting for your text messages, but I don't know if I'm delusional. Remember when you said that it would be our little sandbox, and that we would be against the world? Well, it doesn't seem like that anymore. Actually, never, because it was always your father in the background, lurking, and whatever we did had to be bypassed from him. He would have to make the decision if I get a yes or no for approval regarding being a wife. I hope he's happy with keeping his son tucked away. You went to an all-boys school. You never had a girl like you before. You never even had a friend that was a girl so close like me. I hope your father's happy now, and I hope you're as happy as him. For continuing to be secluded, I only came into your life for a little bit, I guess. But I hope you learned a lot from it, and I hope that this was the best decision for us. Look at you now, secluded again. No excitement, but the strict life you were raised up in. What's the fun in that? You weren't such a goody-two-shoes. We both did things behind your father's back, and that felt good, rebelling against him, because it was my space now, It was my domain, my lead. As of now, I don't necessarily know where we stand in the way of friendship. We may do weekly calls. We may text here and there, but I just don't know if we should end it. Overall, I can't be trusted with that decision that was given unto me. At this point, I wish you both made it. Both, because you guys are so equally aligned. It's like I want to text and call you, but then I don't at the same time, because I know that I will never be that wife in your life, like I get nothing out of it, just a temporal friend. Before you go on a search for a mate. It's like, am I that lonely and desperate? Yeah, the truth is, I am. Or maybe I just love you so much. Having you as a friend is as close as I can get. Even for the short time we have. The time before you create a new family. I think, in a way, it'll be easier for us to bridge the gap if we stay in touch. I knew you didn't want me to sacrifice anything. You told me. But that wasn't the only element. Everything is so grey with you. No black and white. I want to be careful before regretting anything. I know that the dynamic we had, had to end. But I feel like this was the only way that we both could really follow, if another person said it for us. But it's like now I lost you forever, though, because of that. Like I don't even have my best friend anymore. I guess it always bites you later when you don't stand up for yourself. You love talking sexual things. I never restricted you from that. I didn't want to be the one to put us back into place. So, your dad is. I swear I didn't do this on purpose. I was walking at the park with my mom, and she asked me a question: If I knew how everything would end, would I only want to be friends? It's too complicated. You don't know what you don't know. It was eating me alive in the beginning. I wanted to know if he was gonna be my future husband. The way I feel right now, I feel like I want to be just friends. We have history tho. I guess we were another case of romance ruined friendship. You were always a romantic partner to me, rather than just a friend. So, to be friends, I don't know if we can necessarily do that. It was so good, though, being in the gray area, because I knew we got everything we wanted. Our hopes with each other kept us alive, even though you didn't announce it to your dad fully yet. We wanted to do everything together before you brought it up to him, because it was extremely serious. But the truth is, we still took too long. And even your dad said that. The only wise one in the whole thing was your dad all along. We knew the truth, but we didn't want to admit it.Now it's so easy to be distant, just because it was left on your dad once again. And, of course, you're a little puppy, so you're gonna follow him. Only when Dad says it now, you listen. Now, you go silent. It's like, who are you choosing here, buddy? I don't know if you prioritized me as much as I wanted, but I don't know if I can argue with that either. Sometimes I think, if you really, really loved me, would you? But I knew you loved me. And I thought if I wasn't good enough, but you told me you're just so, so beautiful, you know? So that wasn't the issue. The truth is, I know we both said no to save ourselves from trouble. You went with it all along, and I made like five proposals. I wouldn't say it's that you don't trust me, but it's just probably going to happen again if we still keep in touch. So it's like more truth than trust. But you gave me false hope. You told me that you would come to my state, my country, and we would just do whatever we wanted. Because sometimes thinking so much prevents us from what we actually want. Too much logical thinking isn't good, either. You agreed with quite a few things I've mentioned, but I don't know if you actually did all the way. Maybe you were just too horny. We said we would just do it if we met up, without thinking. That way, a baby could hold us together. Anything to escape reality, I guess. But you're too logical. You even mentioned it yourself that some thinking will have to be required. Just then, I didn't have a chance.It's like good thing distance kept us apart, because we're kind of dangerous together. I don't know what could happen if we were both alone. I just know if one touch would ruin it all, and it would start everything, I don't think I could restrain from that. I actually never wanted to have kids. I never told you that. Even now, I'm still contemplating on it with somebody else, but with you, I feel like if we met up, I would do it for the sake of keeping you. I would grow to love these children, because you would be such an amazing father that it's hard not to, and you have such amazing traits. With you, I would have a kid. It makes me think now that it's not impossible, and I don't not want kids. It just has to probably be the right person. I know. We even hypothetically spoke about it in games we were playing. You would teach me how to be an incredible mother. It would come naturally, I believe. These plushies are still on your bed and your pillow, I'd hope. And this big box that I sent you all the way from America is still in your closet. And these chocolates that you eat daily, I know it reminds me of you of me, and your kitty, and your plane models / aviation related things. I remember you telling me that you will never get rid of them because it reminds you of how much loved you were. It's true, but I can't seem to keep the pictures on my night table. These pictures of things that resonate with you, because I feel like it's only gonna hurt me. You are so strong. I wish I was yours, and I wish we could be in love like that once again. It feels so amazing. You told us that we should end it before we get more attached, but I'm afraid it's too late for that. I found it amazing being loved by you. That's only one side that I got to see. It was addicting, but also annoying to the point where I was turning away. I think it was just too much. I've never felt loved like that before. We would text all day, every day. Never a dull moment. I never knew we would potentially drift away like this. You even told me we would still be in touch after your wife, but it would be limited and no more phone calls. I understood that, but not to this extent. I didn't think we would leave this early. I still wonder what's going to happen between us.I feel like I want to initiate, but I'm praying if I should do that. Scared. We both were 19 when we met. I will never forget all the emotions I felt with you. This experience has taught me so much about everything, and because of you, I got so much closer to my God. I can't thank you enough for that. And I drink a lot of water, too. And I know nobody ever will send you this big of a box like I did in your lifetime. The whole thing cost around $900 to send. No, you'll never forget anything, and I wonder how you feel about us now.I know you're a guy, so you're probably gonna move on so much faster. You're already rubbing it in my face about your future wife. And I know you're not perfect. I know you feel it, too. It's hard to live without you in my life. I literally want to die. And I know the answer is right, but you don't feel relieved like you wanted to feel. I know that God and your father and yourself saved me from everything. But what if I didn't want to be saved? What if I wanted to go through all the dirt with you? Every time I hear a plane, it reminds me of you. Every time I see it, it's you. You love playing so much, and you're gonna do amazing. You're so obsessed with it, and I hope your family loves you so much—even more than I do.I can't imagine you having little kids run around and a wife.Thinking about it too much hurts me. I fell in love with a Muslim man. And Islam is great, like I have no shade against it, but some of the things I do believe are wrong.I wish you were closer in my denomination, at least. I wish it didn't even have a denomination, so it could be easier, ironically.But the more that we stay in touch, I feel like there's a potential for something to change. I just don't know why, but I still have hope.I miss you so, so much. It hurts. I don't have anybody else in my life as practical as you, and I don't think I ever will.Well, that's not too true, but I like to think it. There's billions of people, I know. There's so much more of you: your traits, your personality. You incarnated. Haha im only kidding. I wonder what's going to happen from here on out. It's been three days.Longest we've ever went without communication.It's like now I'm only healing. But it's like talking to you prevented that from healing—the feelings, anyway. I just didn't know how much it would hurt. Trying to comfort myself with words like, "You aren't even a good texter. Why should I stay in touch with you?" but it's still you. Behind that phone call, it's still you. You also taught me how to become more extroverted. Even your dad thought I was outgoing, which is crazy to even think about. Taught me that it's okay to say anything, without asking so many questions.Because they're talking, things do get answered.It's interesting, because you were never the one to ask questions also. But I still knew everything about you. Oh my love, how life has to be very difficult! How parents have to get in the way!How religion is extremely important—more than I realized—because of this experience.How distance is actually a very important factor, and I bypassed that as well. My mom told me distance alone is enough for it not to even work.But I know we could have made it work. It's just sometimes when you try too hard, it's also not good.If you keep forcing everything and keep going against it, what good will come out? We weren't blessed. It's just so gray. How could I lose you forever?How could you give me the decision to take it in my hands how we end? You told me that we would still stay in touch.I can't go by you. I just can't.That decision alone makes it easier than looking at the past. Sometimes we can't keep looking at the past; we have to look at the present, and see what happens, where we are. To avoid all this, don't even end up with somebody of a vastly different religion. Because now I've brought this upon myself, and I have to deal with all the consequences that are entailed. It's not a fun process, but you've got to go through it. I still had lots of fun, even though I knew I would get nothing out of it. Just like sending that box, I did it for the experience. I miss you. I love you so much, and I wish you the best in your life. I thought I could convert you, but I hope SDA finds you in some way. I just can't guarantee that I'll be available.
To my dearest, my tofu, my panda, my cediebee, I always love you. Love; but in such ways that even I couldn't fathom. I love you in a way that I don't know how to express because I'm too scared of being too much. I love you as a friend, as someone much more than that, and I love you most as just another human being. I see the goodness in you and I know you might be a little dense but I also know that you're all genuine. I apologize for all the confusion taht I may have caused you. Perhaps I don't really know what love is; perhaps I know what it is but I just don't know how to. It pains me a lot to carry the guilt of lying to you just to keep you around. I know you don't deserve any of those bullcrap. Cedie, I mostly think you deserve someone better but I also really wish I could be that someone. My insecurities are eating me alive and even the bugs could taste how bitter it is. I couldn't even get myself to meet you and have lunch together because I'm afraid you'd never see me the way you did in your phone. Just know, I may not have the same face, but I still have the same heart, the same soul, and the same person that loves you, accepts you, and is willing to take you in. Thank you for being a good friend, or maybe something more than that... But thank you still for being a good person. I still don't know where this will take us but I'll gladly accept it even when it leads me to my grave. I love you. Probably not your dearest, but someone who loves you best, Clara.
hi babyyy! this is me ashi from aug 2026! by the time you're reading this i hope we are still together hehe, how are you? how was us? am i still the maldita fiance ba? HAHAHAHHAHA i wrote this at aug 20, 2026 12:25 am, 5 days before my birthday and i'm really really excited to be with you on my birthday. did you get a job or did you continue college? did we had our anniversary? hihihihi i really wanna celebrate an anniversary, i think it'll be my first time magka anniversary with a partner and i'm glad that it's you. how did i do? did i continue being a social worker or is it different now? when something changes, i hope it's for the better of us. i love you! i'll spread more messages for you! <3
Nyeahhh, peak shi ik ik muehehehhehehe. 💥💥💥💥💥 so well haha Happy Birthday. And the most important part. Password: Caramelturtle copy it. Log in. It's crucial. DO IT. DO IT. you shall get the email id from somewhere. Yes. Use your brain wrinkles.
hi, hayanisah? haynisah? ewannn 😭😭 i have seen you on campus, and i really really wanna say this matagal na, pero ngayon lang talaga yung urge na like sabihin ko, kasi im really shy about saying things like this talaga, so yun nga, matagal na kitang nakikita sa campus and you always caught my attention kasi ewan ko rinn 😭 satinn lang ‘too fless, noww i just want to say that the way you smile, the way you are is so amazing, and ipagpatuloy mo lang yan, kung alam mo lang na i always look for u every uwian, tapos if ever nandun ka sigee okayy, if wala ka sige itss okayy dinn, satin lang ‘to pls lang HAHHAHAHA, so ngayon lang talaga ako nagganto ganto kasi hirap hanapin ng ig mo 😭😭 please keep this as a secrett, so yunn i also want to say that i find you cute 🤏 i’ve been admiring you for a while noww, i first saw you last year and i’ve been ignoring it talaga, kasi akala ko lilipas lang ‘to but look now HAHAHAHHAHA soo i just sharedd this one kasii hindi na sha kaya ihide ng sarili ko hahhahahaha anywayss, thankyou for being yourself HAHAHHAHA, wala talaga akong expect, sasabihin ko langg ‘too for you to know that meron ding nakakaappreciate sayo ditoo, secret lang ‘too haa 😭🤍🤍
hola senorita, gracias
seandainya waktu bisa diulang, aku bakal nemilih mu sampai saat nanti, jujur saja aku menyesel meninggalkan mu demi cowo yang aku suka, aku ingin kembali lagi padamu. disini aku sadar kalo kamu adalah satu satunya cowo yang bisa ngertiin aku, i love u abe😔🥺💗