I am sorry. I never meant for this to happen. I am so sorry. I hated myself for doing what we did to us, I couldn't look myself in the eyes for what I was to tell you -what i told you that day- I am sorry. I still feel home with you. It cut me to write you didn't feel home. I have my own reasons. I am sorry I did it at such a crucial time in your life, no amount of 'sorry' will ever ease the guilt I feel. I miss you, god i miss you so much. I hated doing it. I am helpless, my hand being forced into someone elses. It would have hurt you more to like me and think I had to go to someone else when I told you I would be yours. I think it would hurt you less and enrage you more to think I did not understand your point of view. Love tears you apart but rage keeps you breathing. Rage makes you feel alive and I want you to be alive. I want you to go around and experience everything. The sunsets and the sunrise and everything in between. I hope you go long way. Hope your find a family of your own in someone, and when you do, I hope it works in your favour for you deserve all the happiness in the world. Had it been in my hands, I would have fought tooth and nail to be with you, but it's not. I miss you with each breathing gulp of air and I... I think this is how love feels. -rawr