Unsent

thank you for one of the most wonderful and exciting weeks of my life. thank you for giving me such a refreshing experience in times of stress for me, and thank you for teaching me more about what i value in a person. thank you for being part of a happier version of myself than i previously was. i really wish i had talked to you earlier, talked to you for longer, had more conversations and moments together. i wish we had more of what we had yesterday. i wish you’d known how much i liked being next to you and how much i admired your volleyball and how much i wanted you to notice me. i hope you know that because of you, i was motivated to play better. we’ll go our seperate ways, and maybe never see each other ever again. in another life where you wouldnt be so far away and we wouldn't have completely different native languages, things couldve been different; but, in this one, its impossible to be more than just a brief summer connection. thank you for giving me confidence and thank you for giving me something to look forward to. one day you’ll graduate university, have teammates and friends ive never met, and stories id never know; probably even a special someone of your own(how could you not, when you look like that?). And it's strange and scary to think that someone who feels so vivid to me right now will become a complete stranger again. its bittersweet, sorrowful almost. im going to be honest; one of my biggest regrets isn't that I never told you I liked you(even though theres a bit of that one too); It's that I spent so much of our time together convincing myself I couldn't talk to you, only to realize on the last day that I could. in short, i wish we had more time. time was all i thought i had until i lost it; i didn't realize i was counting down our last days together until there were no days left to count. when i first arrived, the days had felt endless, but looking back, it seems like they passed in the blink of an eye. watching you play made me want to improve; it still does. It wasn't just because I liked you; I genuinely loved watching someone care so much about getting better. you make me not only want to like and admire you; you made me want to compete with you as well. Every compliment from you meant more than it should have. Every time you noticed a good pass or a good receive or sometimes even a good hit, I carried it with me for the rest of the day. i so desperately wanted you to think i was good, so i tried harder every day. theres so many questions i never got to ask you and i wish i did. Id never tell you these things, but i was always looking for you; id always hope that i was on the same team as you; i was always hoping you'd serve at me if you were on the other team. i kept finding myself more and more drawn to you, your face, your skill, your personality. thank you for mattering so much, and im so so so so grateful for you. its so painful for me right now because i never got solid evidence of your feelings for me. that’s partly on me for not even asking, but your actions only tell me a “maybe”. and that hurts, so much. were your compliments and support a personality thing, or were you actually interested? did you tease me because you just were comfortable enough w me like you were with everyone else, or was it because you wanted that spark? did we mean something to you, as much as we meant to me? ill never forget you; or maybe i will. but i hope, i so sincerely hope, i never forget you. so, don't forget me either. never stop trying, and i hope your life goes smoothly. i was never in love with you; not even close, i hadnt known you long enough; i was in love with the possibility of spending more time with you and what we couldve become. i was in love with how terrifyingly, irrevocably alive i felt with you. I think what hurts most is that I finally started talking to you right before I had to leave. i wasn’t - still am not - ready to let you go. thank you for adding such a beautiful chapter to my book.

I knew something changed when you shared your music taste with me. When you showed me which band you liked and which song better was. Ever since you showed me your favorite song, I considered it my favorite too. It wasn’t even the genre I usually listen to. But I kept replaying it till I knew every single word. I want it to be you, in every universe. I want you to correct my grammar in every universe, and maybe also make fun of how I can’t say the word „horror“ in english. My grammar got better, but I don’t want it to be better. I want you to correct it over and over again. Not because I would feel bad, but because you talk. You rarely talk. You talk to your friends, maybe tell them that I’m a „friend“ of yours. Maybe tell your closest friend that you like me. I’m sure you’re not doing this for fun. You’re not messing around with me, I know. But sometimes I feel stupid and pathetic. Like now, I feel pathetic because I actually write about a boy that thinks I’m a friend. Deep down I know you don’t think that way. Why would you tell me that you loved me? Why would you call me your „everything“? When we first met, I told you I only tell people „I love you“ when I really love them. Now you managed to let me say that out loud for you. I think it’s pretty obvious, isn’t it? It’s pretty obvious how I wait for you everyday, I wait for every text, maybe even a call. But I think it won’t last forever, but it sure will last forever in my heart, and I hope in yours too. You’re a sweet boy, that’s why I call you „sweets“. I like sweet candy. But sometimes they’re bitter and sour in the inside. I know you’re one of those candies that are sweet in the inside. The sweet syrup that‘s warm and melts on your tongue. I don’t wanna leave. But I also don’t want you to keep going like this. I don’t wanna be a „friend“ of yours. Do you say „I love you so much more my sweet angel“ to your friends? I don’t think so.. I still miss you everyday. I‘ll always do. But not because you’re gone, but because I know I won’t be feeling anything in a while. - your „sweet girl“

haii my bff, 8th grade goated me happy we met, u da nicest friend I got, reallyyy really nice friend u r, don’t be cheatin’😘 ragebait my luv lingo🤪💌

I love you, and I wish you were real, but I don’t have it in me anymore to keep trying to find you, and I know I am not ready to be in a relationship. Stay safe, my love. I need to focus on myself for now. Don't be mad, okay? Sorry to let you down, but I give up.

kkddddddddddddddddddddd

E' giugno 2026, è la 4 estate in cui ci conosciamo, ma neanche lo sai te. Io invece ci sto pensando, in realtà penso a te più di quanto dovrei. Sono quasi due anni che tu mi hai lasciato, nel modo più terribile di sempre, per motivi che neanche mi aspettavo. Ciò che mi faceva più rabbia in quel periodo è che io non potevo arrabbiarmi con te, perchè ci siamo lasciati amandoci, solo che eri troppo debole per pensare che saremmo durati se ti fossi impegnato un pò di più. Ma forse dovevo anche aspettarmelo, io avevo 16 anni e tu ne avevi 19, ero così piccola che non avevo piani, ti parlavo sempre delle mie incertezze sul futuro, ma tu non eri mai incluso nei miei dubbi. Ricordo ancora quando ti scrissi la lettera, ti dissi che non mi fidavo di niente e di nessuno, ma di te c'avrei provato, e che ti promettevo tante cose, tra cui quella di restarti accanto. Ricordo anche che su quella panchina tu stavi quasi per avere gli occhi lucidi, e ho sentito la voglia di consumarti di baci. Purtroppo ho tanti bei ricordi, e ciò mi procura tanto dolore. Ricordo anche però come mi hai lasciato quel martedì per messaggio, stavo in vacanza e tu mi hai abbandonata, perchè io ero perfetta ma tu dovevi pensare al tuo futuro. Come se io fossi stupida e non ci pensavo anch'io, al futuro. Ero una bambina per te. Ricordo anche che ebbi il mio primo attacco di panico, davvero brutto. Perciò sì io ti penso ancora, sempre, in ogni luogo... A Sapri, a luglio con Alessia, le mostrai diversi luoghi. Non ricordavo di avere tutta quella forza per ripercorrere quelle stradine, mi ricordavo di tutto quel dolore provato, di quando ti salutai l'ultima volta credendo che mi amassi, di quando avevi vomitato ed io volevo darti comunque un bacio, ma tu me lo negasti. Effettivamente faceva schifo ma non so forse dentro di me sapevo che poteva essere l'ultimo. Ecco io l'ultimo bacio nostro non lo ricordo. Questa cosa mi manda fuori di testa. Ricordo però l'ultima volta in cui io ti ho detto di amarti. Io non penso tu mi abbia mai amata allo stesso modo. Sai a dicembre io un pò mi sono sentita bene, perchè tu eri pentito e si vedeva: dopo un anno e mezzo mi scrivevi, mi chiedevi come stessi, se ero tornata a casa. E io un pò ti ho perdonato, forse risentendo ciò che provavo per te, ricordo che mi dicesti di parlare di una cosa a te cara su degli scogli, o che i miei occhi sono come paesaggi, o roba simile hahahah. Ed io non sai quanto ci penso, so che ti penserò per sempre. Una sera ad agosto stavo con dei miei amici e anche il mio ex, già all'ora ex, ricordo di essermi messa su un divanetto al mare, era in realtà molto tardi tipo 3 di notte, faceva un freddo cane, e pensavo tantissimo. Il mare mi fa questo effetto, un pò come facevano i tuoi occhi. E io pensavo, davvero molto, ahhaha sul serio sono ripetitiva ma stavo lì ferma (come sempre anche col telefono morto) però è stato confortevole. Fissavo le onde, si appoggiavano delicatamente alla riva, mi sono sentita di poterle salpare con la mente; in quel momento ho pensato ad una persona a me vicina che è venuta a mancare, le ho chiesto di aiutarmi; e poi ho pensato a te, "chissà cosa starà facendo", "con chi sarà", soprattutto mi chiedevo se tu mai pensavi a noi, a me. Non saprò mai se tu mi apprezzi quanto io ho fatto con te, non saprò se realmente noi siamo stati solo uno sbaglio, una piccola svista, ma se un giorno, lontano, vorrai ritornare nella nostra casa le mie braccia riconosceranno ancora le tue. Se non lo farai figurati me ne farò una ragione, come ho fatto per questi anni, ma sappi che nella mia mente ci sarai sempre, in un piccolo cassetto. Ti voglio bene, con dolore, sofferenza, stanca di tutto, cercherò di volertene sempre, anche quando sarò arrabbiata con te per avermi distrutto un pò la concezione dell'amore. Ma se pensi che ti odio beh sbagli di grosso, aspetterei una tua chiamata fino a quando ne ho coscienza. Nel frattempo vedrò di imparare a suonare un pò l'ukulele. Ciao ciao

Yesterday I could not sleep, so I just thought of us kissing and other things that I can’t write on here, and it worked. Is that bad and wrong?

I wonder what you are doing lately. Do you even go out?

haii, sorry for reaching out to you again after everything. i know maybe this message comes at the wrong time, especially now when your life already seems happier and calmer without me in it. but before i completely let this feeling go, i think i just need to say a few things honestly, at least for myself. first of all, i’m sorry if i ever became someone who made your life feel heavier or more complicated. maybe i handled things the wrong way, maybe i kept too many things to myself, or maybe i ended up hurting you without even realizing it. if i ever did, i truly didn’t mean to, and i’m really sorry for that. i also wanna apologize for reaching out to you again. i already know you have a girlfriend now, and honestly, seeing that made me realize that maybe you finally found someone who can give you the kind of love and certainty that i couldn’t give back then. and genuinely, i hope both of you stay together no matter what happens. i hope she treats you gently, and i hope life feels kinder to you now. you don’t have to reply to this, and i hope this message doesn’t make things uncomfortable for you. i’m not trying to bring back the past, i just felt like i needed to finally say these things honestly. thank you too, for everything you’ve ever done for me. thank you for always being kind to me even when i was difficult to understand. thank you for your patience, your effort, your presence, and all the little things you probably thought i never noticed. i did notice them. i always will. about the gift you gave me before, i’m really sorry i couldn’t turn it into a vlog or post it the way you maybe expected. i actually kept it quietly and accepted it as a birthday gift. i’m just not someone who’s good at expressing things publicly like that. i never really had the courage to record moments or openly show how i feel. maybe because deep down, i overthink everything too much. and i’m sorry too if back then i ended up hurting you, especially when your feelings were genuine. the truth is, at that time i was still trying to recover from my previous relationship. i was exhausted mentally and emotionally, and it changed the way i see myself. it made me feel like i was never really enough for anyone, like no matter how hard i try, i always end up choosing the wrong person or arriving at the wrong time. when we first became friends, honestly i only saw you as someone comforting to talk to. but slowly, i realized the way you cared about me was different, and maybe that’s where things became complicated. while you were brave enough to show your feelings, i was still trying to heal from my past and make peace with myself. looking back at everything now, i realize i was still carrying a lot of unresolved feelings within myself back then. i was trying to heal while also trying to understand who i was, and maybe that’s why everything felt so complicated. please don’t ever think that i never appreciated you, because i truly did. maybe not in the way you wanted, and maybe not at the right time, but your existence genuinely meant something to me. i know after this we’ll probably continue our lives separately again, and that’s okay. i just hope that one day, when you remember me, it won’t only remind you of confusion or pain. i hope there’s at least one small memory of us that still feels warm somehow. thank you for being part of my story, even if only for a short while. and once again, i’m sorry for everything. 🤍

I know you have a boyfriends now. Ever since they day layed my eyes on you i started to develop from a small crush to someone that mattered more then my friends. When i heard news that you got a boyfriend i felt betrayed by someone i never had a chance with yet i also felt happy hoping your boyfriend would treat you the way you deserve. People talk about giving princess treatment to people you care about but for me your the brightest start that would always make my day just by texting you. I truly hop we get to talk again some day but maybe this time as friends since you really are a great person and when life gets hard for you, you can always just text me asking for help and ill do my best.

It took me a while to write this letter. I Won't Follow This letter is meant more for my own solace than for you. Everything between us has weighed heavily on me, and I’ve found it impossible to express this face-to-face. Perhaps you’ve noticed my moments of emotional absence, my retreat into other spaces. I’ve come to understand that the only way to cope with abandonment is to embrace it myself. I see how you light up around people who seem to synch with your energy, a rhythm I clearly don’t match. Our goals once sparkled like stars in alignment, but now they simply fade into a darkness deeper than night. Our paths have diverged, and I’ve realized I won’t force myself to follow yours. You didn’t lose me all at once. You just kept prioritizing things that made it impossible for me to stay. When we first met, you were remarkable, someone who inspired me profoundly. But over time, I watched as you transformed into someone I wouldn’t have fallen for. You started doing things I never imagined you capable of, things which, had I known from the beginning, would have kept me from offering my heart to you at all. What hurt most wasn’t the act of leaving; it was the realization that you’d left long before I ever chose to. You lied about so many things, blind to how deeply your dishonesty hurt me. Instead of addressing your feelings, you replaced me with people who you believed resonated with you better. Why couldn’t you have been honest about it? Why let my love for you wither away slowly and painfully? Time and time again, I tried to fix what was breaking between us, but how could I save something when you were already letting it fade into nothing? I would forgive things others would consider unforgivable because I thought love meant enduring every storm together. You taught me that love and disappointment could coexist, but the kind of love we had became increasingly one-sided. You didn’t shatter my heart all at once; instead, you chipped away at it until there was nothing left of it to guard. Despite everything, I stayed by your side, even when I had so many reasons to walk away. I would have gone through anything for us, fought the world if it meant saving what we had. But how could I keep fighting when you wouldn’t even fight for yourself? At some point, love stopped feeling precious to you. Its sanctity gave way to convenience. And somewhere along that path, I ceased feeling chosen by you. The resentment set in when I realized I was clinging to the image of who you were at the start instead of accepting the person you became. There’s a difference between mistakes and choices, and time and again, you made deliberate decisions, even with clear awareness of their gravity. All the while, I gave you understanding because I hoped that one day you’d offer me honesty in return. But it never came. You turned our love into something fragile, something that needed constant defense when it should have been my sanctuary. Even in silence, the gulf between us had so much to say, though I wonder if you ever truly heard it. Maybe one day you’ll understand what silence holds, if that day ever comes. For so long, I fought battles thinking they were ours to fight together, only to discover that the fight was with you. You made me question parts of myself that were never broken until you broke them. How blind I was, I defended you to people who could already see what I refused to admit. Maybe part of you believed I’d stay in spite of everything, perhaps there was even a version of myself that believed it too. Yet time has taught me that loving myself means drawing lines where my pain begins. It’s heartbreaking that the person who once seemed incapable of such harm became the very one who caused it. I didn’t leave because my love for you ran dry; on the contrary, I left because continuing to love you felt like betraying myself. And someday, you might ask yourself where it all fell apart; when exactly did you lose me? But the answer is simple: you lost me each time you chose indifference over care. I hope the life you've chosen is worth sacrificing what could have been ours. At one point, the thought of losing you felt unbearable. But now, I understand that staying would’ve been the thing to destroy me. You used to be where I felt safest. It shatters me that you ultimately became the very thing from which I had to flee.

Come to me. Since the night you left, the shadows have grown long in my every moment. I wander through endless dusk, aching for you. Come to me. Loving you is as forbidden as the dark gift we share; you are the fire in my veins, the spark that never dies. Come to me. Though we never touched in flesh, my soul is bound to yours, and every silent month I yearn for you. Come to me. I miss you, I want you, I need you—come back to these shadows, where our love first began. I live in this exile, always reaching, always lost—until you return. Éternellement à toi dans l’obscurité, L’Amante Perdue

I don't know how to tell u this cause u are far away from me now i tried to reach u but i think it's not only the location what's separating us and i know that I never looked at me like that . I'm thankful for ur presence in my life but it has become a curse for me now. But if it was not for you my life would've been completely boring and blank page . I tried to reach u despite my mind resisting and i know u don't want to be reached anymore, it has been difficult for me to accept. I still feel nostalgic whenever I pass by ur old house cause it holds memories. I was childish and I'm childish even right now . Maybe it's my inability that i couldn't find or impress another girl. I was never good at that. I wish u message me somehow, someday, randomly ask me how I'm ? How I've been?. I love when people call me uv like u used to do once

Dear please, I miss you soo much, Joce-te why did you leave me. Please come back, I miss you. When I'm with him, I am thinking of you, thinking of you.

Çok istiyorum özür dileyelim birbirimizden, oturup anlaşalım, konuşup anlaşılamayacak sorun değildi bizimki. Ama istemedin, ben de geri çekildim. Arada özlüyorsun, storylerime bakıyorsun biliyorum, belki sen de yazmak istiyorsun ama -iyi biliyorum ki- benim sert duvarlarımı, senin tekrardan reddedilme korkusu geri çekiyor seni. Bir cesaret bulsan, geri dönsek, unutsak her şeyi. Belki de kafada kuruyorum ve özlediğin kişi ben değilim, ya eski sevgilin -fotoğrafları bile duruyor- ya da başka bir kız var. Herkes bana “senin gibi bir kız, böyle erkeklere bakmaz” diyor, kusura bakma ama haklılar da, belki de bu korkutuyor seni, ama inan ki gerçekten gece 3’te sarhoş halinle yazdığın bir “özledim” mesajı yeterdi yeniden başlamamıza. Benim ilk defa bu kadar açıldığım, ilk defa yakınlaştığım erkeksin. Sadece 1 haftalık, senin gözünde hiçbir şey bunu biliyorum, belki de varlığımı bile unuttun , çünkü ben insan içinde görünmezim. Ama benim gibi zor seven birisi için çok önemli. O mesaj gelmeyecek, her şey bitti. Bir gün başkalarını seveceğiz, onlar için güleceğiz, ağlayacağız. Bir gün gerçek aşkı bulacağız. Böylesi daha iyi olacak. Benim için her zaman “ilk öpüşme hikayem” olarak canlı kalacaksın. Ama sen bir gün beni unutacaksın. Kendine iyi bak olur mu? Bir de son ricam, eğer mümkünse, beni güzel anar mısın? Hoşça kal benim tatlı ilk öpücüğüm :)

sabi mo magccool off lang pero bumalik ka sa girl bsf mo. im sorry to be the cause kung bat need mo iignore girl bsf mo dati because i got a little jealous kasi she was always the one with you, you even ignored her dahil you knew i was kinda jealous even though i told you that it was fine since close naman kayo and then one day nagkaroon ka ng fam prob which i respect pero ang sakit kasi nung nalaman ko na kaya mong sumandal sa girl bsf mo and ex mo pero ako hindi mo nakakaya? i comforted you kasi mahal kita pero ang sakit kasi, kasi pano mong nakakaya hindi ako ichat ng ilang weeks? you deactivated your acc and nag seen kalang sa messages ko. ang sakit ng ginawa mo. minahal kita ng sobra sobra. i know its just a cool off pero kaya mokong sandalan and if its not comfy for you then its fine, know that ill always be there for you pero minsan kasi masakit na. kasi how could you leave me and never reassure me? im not perfect but gagawin ko lahat just to make you happy. i even left a plushie with your fav chocolate and a handwritten letter that took me some time to make kasi it was your bday at that time and inabot ko sa bsf ko dahil magkalapit kayo ng bahay pero hanggang ngayon di mopa nakukuha. am i nothing to you? am i a liability? san ako nagkulang? i spent nights crying because i couldnt get you off my head and because of the problems i am facing rn. im sorry if i couldnt be better and im sorry because they treated you like that. honestly, you deserve better, mahal.

I've lowkey forgotten your name but i swear i didn't mean to skip you😭😭😭 i miss you girllllll u were the only one i vibed with -X.O.X.O yuri from phil

I wonder how you are to be honest i really do regret our relationship i hope you're happy tho but tbh i want nothing to do with you idk if it's to harsh but dude like i really really really regret na pinatulan kita kasi to think i gave my first kiss and etc to you and in he end you were just a phase lesson learned ka lng so sadd anyways I'm sorry for the hurt i caused you ad I'm sorry because i started this but im glad i was the one to end it - someone who wishes they never knew u 🥰-C.Y

The devil couldn't reach me, so he made everyone see the softest part of my soul. Just to walk through them like a door. I look down at the blood I blamed myself for, After blaming myself for someone elses problems. I can never speak without it turning against me, Calling me annoying, Sensitive, Loud. But I am just as strong as anyone else, but I can never find the words to express that. No one listens anymore, They making me feel terrible just for speaking my mind, Or turn my words into something rude just to give another reason to hate me. Trust me I'm trying my hardest for you, No matter how many times you go running to my friends to talk crap about me. I'll find out sooner then later. Sometimes I feel like being myself is a crime I comitted, Like I need to tie my tongue down just to keep you happy. People held my hand, while teaching me it was so hard to keep loving me. Why is it I can't shut up? Every word I say is turned into pieces of sand, And walked all over. I am walking on egg shells, and I don't know where to jump. The devil couldn't reach me, So he made everyone see the kindest parts of my soul. Just to walk right through them.

Dear Ismu, I'm sorry. I don't know what I'm apologizing for, but I wish our friendship was stronger. I wish we could've gone back to those old days, where everything felt so fleeting, but most of all I wish I could understand what went wrong. Now I think of you everyday and I wonder if you think of me too, I wonder if you think of how long it has been since we called, or when was the last time we met in person. Wish I could be there for you right now. Being a long distance buddy with you isn't going to well on my end. Imagine the chances of you finding this lolol :p -Numi