I don’t really know why I’m writing this. Maybe because there are still so many things I never got to say, or maybe because sometimes I just wish I could go back to a time when talking to you was the easiest thing in the world. It also because I hope you would see this and want me back. I think i’m feeling super emotional right now because our what would have been 1 year anniversary is coming up. There was a time when you were my normal. You were the person I could text about the smallest things. If something happened with my mom, if something made me laugh, if I was upset, if I just had a random thought, you were someone I wanted to tell. I didn’t have to think about whether I should reach out. I just did. And now it’s strange knowing that I can’t do that anymore. Sometimes I’ll see an old picture or video of you on my phone and think, “There really was a time when this was my life.”Tiktok’s on this day is really killing me. There was a time when your name was at the top of my phone. There was a time when I thought we’d have so many more memories together. I don’t think I’ll ever forget what you meant to me. You were my first serious love, and you were there for so many of my first experiences with loving somebody and letting somebody love me. Whatever happens in both of our lives, that will always be a part of my story. I know I wasn’t perfect. I know there were things I could have handled differently, things I wish I had understood sooner, and moments where I wish I had been a better version of myself. I’ve grown since then, and sometimes I wish you could see the person I’m becoming. I wish I could know what the breakup was like for you. Did you miss me? Did you ever think about me afterward? Did you ever hear me laughing or see me in class and remember what we used to be? I wish I could read your mind just once. Maybe you don’t feel those things anymore. Maybe you processed everything differently than I did. I don’t know. What I do know is that I loved you. I loved having you in my life. I loved knowing that I had somebody who knew me in a way that other people didn’t. And even though things didn’t work out, I don’t want to pretend that what we had wasn’t important just because it ended. A part of me still wishes you would come back. I wish we could start over not necessarily go back to exactly what we were, but meet each other again as the people we’ve become and see if we could do things differently. But I also know that wanting that doesn’t mean I can make it happen. You mattered to me. I wish things had turned out differently. And I genuinely hope life is good to you, wherever it takes you because you are a great person who deserves great things. I can’t believe you never say what I say in you. You are genuinely one of the sweetest people I have ever meet you are so talented and an amazing signer. I hope you do everything you want in life, and find someone who you love (I guess 😒). I want to move on from you but it’s only because I know I have to. I’m almost there but I have my moments like now, but I hoped i’m released from this yearning soon. Thank you for being such an important part of my life. I hope someday, when you look back on us, you remember the good things too, I think I will always love you and I hope you feel the same about me -Angel