I miss you

Hola Alex, pupuchito, bobo, tonto... Gracias por todo, otro pequeño lugar donde dejar una huella del gran amor que te tuve 🫶 No te guardo resentimiento, te guardo gratitud y amor Creo que lo que más espero haberte enseñado y dejado es mi maravillosa forma de amar <3 Con cada día que pasa yo te he dejado ir más y más, creo que es natural dejar ir las cosas, aunque sinceramente nunca creí que te empezaría a superar tan pronto...quizá es porque hice todo en mis manos para que te llegara mi amor y con eso me quedo, di todo de mi, di mi alma y corazón y te los entregué las veces que pude antes de irme cansando y entendiendo que hay cosas más allá de nosotros. Soy una romántica eso es algo que me di cuenta, quizá idealista incluso jajaja Quizá nunca encuentre lo que mi corazón necesita, no lo sé Te amo mucho y como no tienes idea

i'm trying so hard not to disturb you anymore. not because i don't want to, not because i don't miss you with everything i am, but because i know that sometimes, silence is the only thing left to give. i've already said what i needed to say, i've already reached out so many times, and i've made it clear how much i cared. but now, i don't want to keep forcing myself into your life if i’m not really wanted there. i don't want to keep waiting for a reply that may never come, or hoping for a call that you'll never make. i think i always will, even though i want so badly not to. it hurts, but i have to respect the space between us. i'm reminding myself that i've already done my part. because if you wanted to reply, you would have. if you wanted to stay, you would have. and since you didn't, i'll take that as my answer. i won’t stop leaving messages here, though. my love still deserves a place to exist, even if it’s not with you. #comebackanytime —mae.

how are you? how's work? i miss you so much :(( i never should have said those words to you; i was wrong and now, i'm miserable. i miss the way you care for me; you were the only person who truly knows me. -C

i miss you, leo. i miss hearing your voice, hearing the smile in it when you were happy, when you were being silly with me. i miss knowing that even with everything you’ve been through, there were still moments where you felt safe enough with me to smile and laugh. i miss being there for those moments. i miss how gentle you were with me, how safe you made me feel, and how happy i was just getting to know you. i know you’ve been hurting, too. i know there are things you struggle with that i can’t fix for you, no matter how much i wish i could. i just wanted to be someone you could feel safe with, someone you could laugh with when things were hard, someone who cared about you even on the days you couldn’t see anything good in yourself. i saw all of it. i don’t just miss being loved by you. i miss you as a person. i miss the little things about you that probably seemed insignificant to you at the time, but mean everything to me. i wish i could hear your voice one more time, hear you smile, and know that you’re okay. i don’t think you understand how much this hurts. i’m trying to make sense of losing someone who meant so much to me, without even getting to understand what happened or say goodbye properly. i miss you in all the little moments, and it feels like everything i was looking forward to has disappeared overnight. i wish i knew how to make this hurt less. i wish missing you didn’t feel so heavy, especially knowing that all i want is to hear your voice and know that you’re okay. i still care about you so much, leo. i don’t know what happens from here, and i know i can’t make you come back. i just wish things had been different. i wish we could have talked through everything instead of losing each other like this. i miss you, and i hope that somewhere, even if i’m not there to hear it anymore, you’re still finding reasons to smile. i’ll wait for you. —mae.

angel, this loss hurts so deeply because you didn’t just make me fall /you/. you helped me fall in love with my life again too. i started looking forward to things, making plans, getting excited about the future. i felt like there was so much waiting for me when you were around, and i wanted to be here for all of it. i know it wasn’t something only i noticed, either. people told me they could see the difference in me, in /us/, in how happy we made each other... that’s why it hurts so much to look back now. i miss you, of course i do. i always do… but i also miss the girl i was becoming when you were in my life. i hope i find my way back to her someday. i'm still trying to understand how something that made me so unbelievably happy could leave me feeling so lost. i’ll figure it out one day. —mae.

Idk what to say I know I’ll never have you again.. but I honestly can’t get you out of my head I’ve tried I’ve tried so hard but I genuinely don’t understand why you have effected me so much .. maybe bc you truly loved me and I never realized till now.. fuck man I miss you I really do Vero I wish things were different I wish you gave me a chance to prove to you my love I wish I can go back in time and just hear your voice,laugh just be in your presence one more time I’ll do anything for that.. but it’s in the past I really hope you get to see this ugh Vero I wish you were mine you genuinely don’t understand how badly I miss you🫠 and i genuinely don’t understand why why can’t I get over you man… yk I still have those 2 bracelets I was supposed to give you the day you were supposed to become mine.. fuck man I just wish I can talk to you be in your presence again Veronica you don’t understand how much I miss you genuinely…. Anyways I know you’re building a life with someone else but I just want you to know that no matter how much time passes no matter what happens I’ll always have love for you and appreciate that you were once apart of my life. Thank you Veroni/pepperoni for everything if you ever read this I just want you to know that I love you Veronica I’ll always will and I’ll do anything for you.. I’m sorry for always bothering you with all these messages.. I hope you’re happy and enjoying everything I’ll always pray for your happiness and for you to always be ok… I love you Veronica I’ll always will.

ml, i think i’ve been looking at blips all wrong. i thought the sad moments were the “blips”, but now i wonder if it was the time i got to spend with you. maybe you don’t feel that way, and maybe i’m the only one wondering if we’re destined to be sad without each other. maybe i didn’t deserve to feel so happy with you. i just know i wanted to make your life easier and give you more reasons to smile. and i wish i’d had the chance to show you that. i hope your story has a happier ending. —mae.

we just spoke. probably for the last time. you said you didn’t know what you were thinking, or why you chose her, or why you can’t choose me. you expressed your struggles. your mental health. everything. i don’t think you ever know what you meant to me. not because i never showed it, but because i don’t think you ever realised how /serious/ it was. i wasn’t looking for something for a fairytale ending. i wasn’t expecting everything to be perfect between us. i just remember listening to your voice and thinking, “i can do this.” “i can choose this person.” for the first time, i wasn’t scared of the difficult days. i wanted to stay through them. i wanted to figure things out. i wanted to grow together. i wasn’t scared. you made me brave. i don’t think you’ll ever know that i already started imagining a future where you were in it. not because i was rushing anything. but because loving you, and falling in love with you, felt so natural. maybe that’s the part that hurts the most. maybe you think that by choosing her, you’ve lost me. but you haven’t. i already decided to keep choosing you. even on the days when love would have been hard. i’m sorry i couldn’t change your mind, my love. —mae.

my sweet boy, i just can’t stop thinking about everything you’ve told me about your history with her, and i struggle to understand how you could go back to something that hurt you so much. i just can’t get that part figured out. sure, /i/ wasn’t good enough to be with you. but her? she broke you. i saw that in you. i noticed it every day. with the things you said, the things you did, how you reacted to things. i saw the pieces she took from you that were missing, and i wanted to badly to bring them back to you, angel. with kindness, and gentleness, and care. i cared for you. :/ i know i can’t make that decision for you to leave her, but it scares me to think you might be returning to the same pain you worked so hard to leave behind. please do what is best for you and your heart. protect it, because it’s so precious. i wish you’d chosen differently, —mae.

you've become too dear to me in the few days we've been together.. i want you to like me so much and i want my love to be mutual. you are very dear to me, i am so afraid of spoiling everything...

fuck, leo. sometimes i wonder if you’ll look back on this and question whether you made the right choice. not because i expect you to come running back to me, but because i worry that you made a shitty decision during a time when everything felt impossible to understand. i’m worried that your sadness was taken advantage of. i hope you give yourself permission to reconsider it if you ever realise you might be sad. or that you might want something else. i can’t sleep anymore, mae.

i keep thinking about all the little things i wanted to do for you. remembering the things you liked, finding things that would make you smile, and making sure you knew how loved you were. none of it was meant to be a grand gesture. i just wanted to make your life a little softer. i hope i get that opportunity someday. you deserve all the love i have to give. and i’ll keep it all right here, waiting for you. your girl, mae.

good morning, my sweet boy. i hope you know that you never had to hide that side of yourself that you were so scared to show. i wanted to understand you. even when you couldn’t find the words to explain what was happening inside of your heads. you never had to be perfectly okay for me to still want to love you. with so much tenderness, mae.

i hope that one day, when things feel less overwhelming, you can look back at everything with a clearer head and understand what you wanted for yourself. whatever you decide, i hope it’s something you choose because it makes you genuinely happy, rather than because you’re frightened of what might happen otherwise or because you’re too vulnerable to make a choice for yourself. yours, mae.

sweetheart. i can’t shake the feeling that everything happened when you were at your most vulnerable. you were struggling, you were overwhelmed, and you weren’t sure what you wanted, and suddenly you were back in a situation with someone you already had so much awful history with. maybe i’m wrong about some things, and i know i can’t know everything that’s going on between you two. but i worry that being in such a dark place influenced a decision that you might have made differently if you’d had more time. i can’t help feeling like she’s come back into your life at a time when you’re especially vulnerable, and that worries me more than i can explain. i remember what you’ve told me about your history together, and i know your friends have their own concerns, too. i’m scared that you’re going to get hurt again while you’re already struggling. i don’t want to see you back in that dark place. i don’t want to see you in a hospital room. i wish i could make you understand that my concern comes from caring about you, not wanting to control you. i wanted to give you room to breathe because i cared more about you feeling better than getting an immediate answer about us. i didn’t want you to feel trapped or pressured into anything. i just wish that, somewhere in all of this, there had been room for us to talk honestly about what we meant to each other. i still wish we’d had that chance. and i can’t help but feel like she rushed into this with you to take advantage of the fact that you were hurting and scared. and keeping you scared so you’ll stay with her. and that isn’t right. please give yourself time to think. still yours, mae.

my sweet boy. it’s getting bad. i worry about you so much. i can’t stop thinking about how she treated you, and how you chose that over the love i have for you. i just want you to make safe choices. i want you to protect your heart— and i still want to give you mine. always yours, mae.

hi my love. i miss you. i’m trying to respect your decision but it’s so hard. i miss you so badly. the days don’t feel right when you’re not in them. yours, mae.

I'm sorry I was a bad person but I'm different and I just wish I was different with you. It hurts my heart knowing how terrible I was. I truly miss you. I hope you are happy now and i hope shadys doing good. I also hope you found your cat Gucci I think his name was. He was a Orange Tabby. I hope you see this even though i know you probly wont. Im so sorry i couldnt be your person but im glad we arent together sometimes because i realised how missriable we both were. I wish we could be just friends but that wont ever work. I know if we get back incontact it will probly ruin both of our lives. I want to talk to you so bad though and see what you are doing and how you are and if you found your person yet. Its not fair what happend but it had to happen. I hope you are well Kaleb B. Truly, K

I miss you, Cadal. It is the truth so heavy that I can neither utter nor tell—that neither words nor action can bear its weight fully. Every day, I consume myself with the yearning to hear that echo of voice again. Every hour, I ached, condemning myself but I cannot stop craving to see that beautiful face of yours. Every second, I find myself craving that gentle touch when the midnight settles over my bed.. I'm writing this in a breathless haste, torn away by reality. But hear this, I will always be here. Even though this waiting hurts, the emptiness bleeds. I understand. So, please, understand that you can return to me. No matter how deeply you pained me. No matter how many scars you left behind. Nothing cuts deeper than the agony of knowing you believe I hate you. I never could. Come back when you're ready. Or don't. Maybe destiny dictates, do not come back after all if you found a shelter in someone else's arms. I will bear that silence. As long as you're truly happy. But never doubt that my heart will forever remain yours. I still love you. And I'm sorry for that. - From the person you had loved and yet hated, A.N

If only you knew...