Confession

I have been depressed for a while now, (probably for 7 months now). There are days were I feel hollow, days were I don't want to wake up, and it has gotten to the point of self harm. The feeling of anxiety and having constant negative thoughts overwhelm me to the point where I can feel the weight of it on my chest and it makes me want to cry. I have no one to reach out for help, and even if I did, my mom would notice and she would start talking about her religious beliefs to show that her God can fix me. Sometimes I feel lonely too, at night I cuddle with a pillow and cry until I fall asleep. I just want to have at least someone of trust who I can talk to. One simple wish that I have is, to have someone hold me while I sleep, brush my hair with their hands and tell me "Your enough, a new day will start tomorrow. I love you". Thankfully my depression only comes in waves and only shows up for a week to a month then goes away but then comes back after a month or two passes. Who ever is reading this, your not alone, everyday is a brand new page. I believe in you and I hope you have a happy life.

I feel lost , I just get part of a lot if things , not excellent in one , I just wanna one way I can keep in , it's so confusing , I'm tired and have no trust , overthinking . I don't know when my real chance or way will come.

Hi, moshie. You probably won't know who this is. But I miss you so much. Ever since our break up I never stopped thinking about you. How Ironic. I was the one who gave up on us but I'm also the one who can't seem to move forward. I accidentally saw you. You looked so happy. While me, I'm barely holding on. I didn't want to end us there. But the situation was just not right. I never wanted us to separate, believe me. Now, I just wish you all the happiness, Moshie. Back then, when we first met on Roblox. I never thought we'd be more than friends. I thought we'd just play, talk and that's it. And back when we also played MLBB, gosh that was so embarrassing. I was pretty new that time. You could probably tell on the way I play. I was never trully honest with you, Vien. And maybe that's what pushed me to make that decision. You're too good for me. You told me everything about you. And me? I just told you what I wanted you to know. I still love you even after the day we broke up, 2022 I think? And you reached out to me back in 2023. But yeah, I said something stupid, which is not true. I miss you so much, Vienne. I'm confident you won't see this, hehe. – FINN

hope you'll find your way back to me<3

the part of me that still loves you misses the part of you that loved me. my heart aches when you cross my mind, remembering all you meant to me. it’s healthy that we stay strangers. i don’t recognize you anymore

I miss you so much. It hurts so bad. But it is what it is, choosing to distance myself is an act of self-respect. Going back to you now, or even trying to start a conversation with you again, would be disrespectful, not just to me, but to the version of myself that suffered for about a year. You were so mean. Why did you do this to me? I was always there for you whenever you needed me. But I have no regrets about all the energy, mental strength, and physical effort I invested in our friendship. My only mistake was hoping I'd get back the same things I gave. I wish you all the best in life, and please don't do this to anyone else. It hurts so bad, for real.

it's been 5 years and you're still on my mind. you can't imagine how much i love you and need you and miss you. the life i have now brings me nothing but boredom. when we were together, even in the times when you just wanted me to caress your back, i was happy and i'd still be happy, if i had it today. sometimes i imagine coming over to your place when your girlfriend isn't there. i want to talk to you again, to giggle and to kiss you. just that. nothing else. my best friend says i shouldn't be so stuck on you but how can't i when you are my entire world? you're the only person i think of when a love song plays on the radio, or when i hear all the other songs i'd secretly dedicated to you. you make me really happy and i want you back. if not in this lifetime then in another. i just know we were meant to be.

Sometimes while walking in the streets or sitting in the subway, I look at all the girls around and I think that none of them deserved to be loved by you. I'm not talking about them being pretty enough or not, what i mean is bigger than that. It seems like by the help of those thoughts, i try to box out other girls so the only loveable person left would be me. And sometimes while seeing a middle-aged woman, I found myself thinking she can be your mother, especially when they have a little girl with them because i know you have a little sister. You know what? I know everything about you, not because we've talked too much or i've stalked you. I know everything about you because your shadow is living with me for more than six months. I've woken up next to you in my dreams. I baked a cake for you in my fantasy. You kissed goodbye and left for university in my fantasy. In my mind, we have had a complete healthy love and relationship. But it's been three weeks that i've woken up from that dream and fantasy. I want to stop myself from those kind of fantasy because THEY WILL NEVER EVER BECOME TRUE.

I love you so much it hurts

I don't really know how to start this without making things awkward, but I think I owe it to myself to finally say it. I really, really like you. Like… more than I probably should. And honestly, I don't even know if I can still call it just a crush. There are moments when I genuinely wonder if I've already fallen in love with you without even realizing it. Maybe somewhere along the way, what started as something fleeting became something far more profound than I ever intended it to be. And that's probably why I'm saying this now. I want this to be my last time liking you. Maybe even my last time allowing myself to fall for you. Not because I suddenly stopped caring, and definitely not because I regret ever liking you. It's actually the opposite. I like you so much that I've realized I have to stop myself before I become too deeply attached to something I'm still uncertain about. Because as much as I'd like to believe that feelings are enough, I know they're not always. I don't want to enter a relationship while I'm still questioning what I truly feel or what I actually want. I don't want something as meaningful as a relationship to begin from uncertainty, only for that uncertainty to eventually hurt either of us. Maybe this is simply my way of accepting what feels inevitable. I guess.. that's also why I chose to tell you this now. Before I finally let this feeling go, I want you to know that there was a time when I really, really, really liked you (yes, believe it or not binabaliw mo ako that time (╥⁠﹏⁠╥) ). More than I ever intended to. Maybe I even loved you—I honestly don't know. And perhaps I'll never know for certain. But I think that's okay. Not every feeling needs a name for it to have been real, gosh I'm so out of word right now. Bro I'm trying my best to make this message more long and I guess I'm trying my best to word out this jumbled feelings of mine. HAHAHA I'm prolly spouting nonsense rn 💔. And yeah… part of me still thinks you're way wayyy out of my league anyway 😭. Maybe I just see you as someone took far above me, and maybe that's another reason why I need to take a step back. Not because you're unreachable, but because I don't want to lose myself in the possibility of something that may never exist. But more than anything, I don't want this confession to ruin our friendship. Because if I'm being completely honest, what we have as friends means more to me than whatever could possibly happen between us. Our friendship has become something I genuinely cherish, and I don't think I could ever bring myself to trade something that precious for a possibility. So I'm not telling you this because I want an answer. I'm not confessing because I expect you to feel the same way. I just want you to know. I want to leave this feeling with honesty instead of carrying it with me in silence. After this, I'll try to relinquish this feeling little by little. Maybe it won't happen immediately, and siguro I'll still have moments where I miss you or wonder about the what ifs. But I'll let myself move forward. Because sometimes, caring about someone means knowing when to stop yourself from falling deeper. And when I finally do move on, I hope I'll be able to look back at all of this without regret. I hope I'll remember you not as someone I couldn't have, but as someone who made me feel something I never expected to feel. And despite everything, I'm genuinely grateful that I got to atleast admire you I've noticed that lately, I've been trying to become the best version of myself. I've been trying to grow, to be kinder, to do better, and to become someone I'm proud of. And honestly, I don't think I would've become this version of myself if it weren't for you. Maybe that's one of the things I'll always be grateful for—that even if these feelings eventually fade, they changed me in ways I never expected. Liking you made me want to become better, and for that, I'll always be thankful 🙂. Whatever happens after this, I hope we can still be us. I'll always cherish our friendship. I'll always be grateful for every conversation, every laugh, every little moment that somehow became important to me. Maybe this is closure for me. Maybe it's simply acceptance. But either way, this is probably the last time I'll tell you that I like you. So… before I let it all go— I really, really like you. - J (Let it go~ Let it go~HAHAHA Ps. naalala ko lang yan song na ”Let It Go”😭) Your initials just in case you find this lolll (KJBT). Ts is so freaking riskyy, I'm sending this here first before I send it to you, since I'm still not ready to tell you whatever ts is.

hi hello, awkward man to but i want to tell i liked u. hahaha funny kasi hindi ko nasabi sayo agad and there's a lot of story behind that:)) kasi hindi naman sa may attachment issues ako pero like, i just like for being who u are, nothing more nothing less:)) then couple days passed my feelings got more deeper:)) well knowing u, you liked kris, well im not against nor jealous of that cuz who am i to u? "ate"? well yea younger ka sakin but does it really matter? maybe sayo oo:)) and idk what u feel cause damn i don't have the chance to tell u this kasi nag confess ka kay kris non and gosh i just wanted to be slowburn that time kasi if i really told u early? ik you wouldn't like me😭 cause u know me as ur "ate" and i can't change that on how u know me:)) besides u liked someone else's and i can't force u to liked me too if ever man nag sinabi ko sayo yung totoo before:)) and it'll be awkward for us diba?? i know there's a chance na wala talaga akong chance, and im okay with that. im not expecting anything from you. i just felt like i needed to tell u this because i wanted to be true to what i feel. i don't want to pressure you or make things awkward, it was nice knowing u after all:)), and kinda thrill kasi love triangle?eme, kidding aside. maybe ako lang or my delulu side lang yun na may meaning pero this is how it feels liking someone that i shouldn't be liking🏃🏻‍♀️. anyways, i just wanted to know u this naman hehe, Ik you might not like me back and again i just want to get this out off my chest. that all I hope ur doing great:) kung ano man meron dito, stays with us, hope it will never be awkward after this:)) well u might know me makapal naman talaga mukha ko:)) thankyouuuuuu, love lots💙

hi hello, awkward man to but i want to tell i liked u. hahaha funny kasi hindi ko nasabi sayo agad and there's a lot of story behind that:)) kasi hindi naman sa may attachment issues ako pero like, i just like for being who u are, nothing more nothing less:)) then couple days passed my feelings got more deeper:)) well knowing u, you liked kris, well im not against nor jealous of that cuz who am i to u? "ate"? well yea younger ka sakin but does it really matter? maybe sayo oo:)) and idk what u feel cause damn i don't have the chance to tell u this kasi nag confess ka kay kris non and gosh i just wanted to be slowburn that time kasi if i really told u early? ik you wouldn't like me😭 cause u know me as ur "ate" and i can't change that on how u know me:)) besides u liked someone else's and i can't force u to liked me too if ever man nag sinabi ko sayo yung totoo before:)) and it'll be awkward for us diba?? i know there's a chance na wala talaga akong chance, and im okay with that. im not expecting anything from you. i just felt like i needed to tell u this because i wanted to be true to what i feel. i don't want to pressure you or make things awkward, it was nice knowing u after all:)), and kinda thrill kasi love triangle?eme, kidding aside. maybe ako lang or my delulu side lang yun na may meaning pero this is how it feels liking someone that i shouldn't be liking🏃🏻‍♀️. anyways, i just wanted to know u this naman hehe, Ik you might not like me back and again i just want to get this out off my chest. that all I hope ur doing great:) kung ano man meron dito, stays with us, hope it will never be awkward after this:)) well u might know me makapal naman talaga mukha ko:)) thankyouuuuuu, love lots💙

hi hello, awkward man to but i want to tell i liked u. hahaha funny kasi hindi ko nasabi sayo agad and there's a lot of story behind that:)) kasi hindi naman sa may attachment issues ako pero like, i just like for being who u are, nothing more nothing less:)) then couple days passed my feelings got more deeper:)) well knowing u, you liked kris, well im not against nor jealous of that cuz who am i to u? "ate"? well yea younger ka sakin but does it really matter? maybe sayo oo:)) and idk what u feel cause damn i don't have the chance to tell u this kasi nag confess ka kay kris non and gosh i just wanted to be slowburn that time kasi if i really told u early? ik you wouldn't like me😭 cause u know me as ur "ate" and i can't change that on how u know me:)) besides u liked someone else's and i can't force u to liked me too if ever man nag sinabi ko sayo yung totoo before:)) and it'll be awkward for us diba?? i know there's a chance na wala talaga akong chance, and im okay with that. im not expecting anything from you. i just felt like i needed to tell u this because i wanted to be true to what i feel. i don't want to pressure you or make things awkward, it was nice knowing u after all:)), and kinda thrill kasi love triangle?eme, kidding aside. maybe ako lang or my delulu side lang yun na may meaning pero this is how it feels liking someone that i shouldn't be liking🏃🏻‍♀️. anyways, i just wanted to know u this naman hehe, Ik you might not like me back and again i just want to get this out off my chest. that all I hope ur doing great:) kung ano man meron dito, stays with us, hope it will never be awkward after this:)) well u might know me makapal naman talaga mukha ko:)) thankyouuuuuu, love lots💙

hi hello, awkward man to but i want to tell i liked u. hahaha funny kasi hindi ko nasabi sayo agad and there's a lot of story behind that:)) kasi hindi naman sa may attachment issues ako pero like, i just like for being who u are, nothing more nothing less:)) then couple days passed my feelings got more deeper:)) well knowing u, you liked kris, well im not against nor jealous of that cuz who am i to u? "ate"? well yea younger ka sakin but does it really matter? maybe sayo oo:)) and idk what u feel cause damn i don't have the chance to tell u this kasi nag confess ka kay kris non and gosh i just wanted to be slowburn that time kasi if i really told u early? ik you wouldn't like me😭 cause u know me as ur "ate" and i can't change that on how u know me:)) besides u liked someone else's and i can't force u to liked me too if ever man nag sinabi ko sayo yung totoo before:)) and it'll be awkward for us diba?? i know there's a chance na wala talaga akong chance, and im okay with that. im not expecting anything from you. i just felt like i needed to tell u this because i wanted to be true to what i feel. i don't want to pressure you or make things awkward, it was nice knowing u after all:)), and kinda thrill kasi love triangle?eme, kidding aside. maybe ako lang or my delulu side lang yun na may meaning pero this is how it feels liking someone that i shouldn't be liking🏃🏻‍♀️. anyways, i just wanted to know u this naman hehe, Ik you might not like me back and again i just want to get this out off my chest. that all I hope ur doing great:) kung ano man meron dito, stays with us, hope it will never be awkward after this:)) well u might know me makapal naman talaga mukha ko:)) thankyouuuuuu, love lots💙

hi hello, awkward man to but i want to tell i liked u. hahaha funny kasi hindi ko nasabi sayo agad and there's a lot of story behind that:)) kasi hindi naman sa may attachment issues ako pero like, i just like for being who u are, nothing more nothing less:)) then couple days passed my feelings got more deeper:)) well knowing u, you liked kris, well im not against nor jealous of that cuz who am i to u? "ate"? well yea younger ka sakin but does it really matter? maybe sayo oo:)) and idk what u feel cause damn i don't have the chance to tell u this kasi nag confess ka kay kris non and gosh i just wanted to be slowburn that time kasi if i really told u early? ik you wouldn't like me😭 cause u know me as ur "ate" and i can't change that on how u know me:)) besides u liked someone else's and i can't force u to liked me too if ever man nag sinabi ko sayo yung totoo before:)) and it'll be awkward for us diba?? i know there's a chance na wala talaga akong chance, and im okay with that. im not expecting anything from you. i just felt like i needed to tell u this because i wanted to be true to what i feel. i don't want to pressure you or make things awkward, it was nice knowing u after all:)), and kinda thrill kasi love triangle?eme, kidding aside. maybe ako lang or my delulu side lang yun na may meaning pero this is how it feels liking someone that i shouldn't be liking🏃🏻‍♀️. anyways, i just wanted to know u this naman hehe, Ik you might not like me back and again i just want to get this out off my chest. that all I hope ur doing great:) kung ano man meron dito, stays with us, hope it will never be awkward after this:)) well u might know me makapal naman talaga mukha ko:)) thankyouuuuuu, love lots💙

You’ve been my friend for most of my life yet you treated me as an afterthought. I did so much for you. I begged and fought to be seen by you and you never cared for me. I tried to get over it but you’re just a selfish person deep down..

I know we're friends and I'm super happy we are. But I love you more than just a friend. I'm sorry, I never wanted to feel this way about you but I can't help it. You mean so much to me and I can't risk losing our friendship if I ever confess. It hurts my heart when you talk about other boys all the time and I know you won't ever love me back since your straight and I'm a just girl and I'd never be your chosen one. I can't get you out of my head at all, you appear in my dreams too. I sometimes even feel my heart aching, my body feeling numb, and even nauseous sometimes. My mind keeps drifting towards memories of us, every compliment you gave me, your happy smile, when I make you laugh, and so much more. I even still have the hoodie and every little thing/ gift you gave me and I cherish it deeply for some reason even if it’s tiny. I care about you but I can’t help but feel jealous when you’re talking to other friends or people other than me. It’s horrible I know and I don’t want to feel this way. I hate how my feelings keep growing for you and building up as time passes, and I can’t do anything about it. Maybe one day in the near future I’ll realize this is was all just a phase and my feelings will fade eventually. But for now I love you so much sweetheart and in the end you deserve to end up with a person that will make you happy.

I'm so stupidly in love with you, but there's nothing I can do about it. I'm not in a position where I can just blow up my life as it is and ask you out. That's not possible for me, and I don't know that it ever will be. I desperately want to ruin our friendship, and I wonder if you know it. Every look we share secretly kills me, but I don't know if it does anything to you. I search for you in every room we're in together. You make me laugh so damn much. You're so beautiful, talented, caring and brilliant. I don't know if I'll ever say these words out loud, and I don't know that if I did that you would be receptive to my feelings, but writing them down here feels good. If I never get to love you, I hope that the person who does gives you everything you could possibly ask for and more. You deserve the world.

to r, who came into my life in that september. perhaps becoming close and being friends with you felt like a given to me at some point, and precisely because i took it for granted, i cherished this beautiful friendship all the more. yet, i failed to understand your true feelings. you didn't want to remain just friends; you wanted the small title of "lovers" throughout those five years. i knew it, yet i turned a blind eye simply because i was terrified of losing our friendship (sounds like a flimsy excuse just to brush things off, doesn't it?). i wasn't sure if i could offer you a love that was truly worthy, and back then, we were still far too young. i was afraid that a fleeting romance would tear our friendship apart. i didn't dare believe i could bring you happiness. and now, as our feelings gradually faded and we drifted together—protecting each other like two friends simply out of habit—i inadvertently lost you, letting you fall into someone else's arms while i stood there in utter bewilderment. i don't understand my own emotions. clearly, i had rejected you; clearly, i had never given any signals. yet now, seeing you find a second happiness that isn't with me, i feel this sudden, stabbing heartache. we stood by each other in our foolish youth, and now that we are mature, you use that very affection to shelter someone else. i know my feelings have arrived far too late. i am happy for you, but at the same time, a quiet sorrow and regret are flickering inside for not having reached out to hold you back. right now, the two of us are walking a tightrope between friendship, looking both pitiful and blameworthy. i know these thoughts shouldn't exist, but please, let me be selfish just this once. i wish i could turn back time. i wish i had been more sincere in accepting your feelings instead of relying on the trust of a mere friend. i wish i had been confident enough to finally say, "i've fallen for you." this confession cannot be delivered to you, but i will try my best to nurture our friendship. and i know that one day, we will see those beautiful years of friendship bloom once again. (thank you for the love you gave me.)

gửi đến cô bạn tên R đến với đời tôi vào tháng 9 năm ấy. có lẽ việc thân và được làm bạn với cậu đã là điều tôi cho là dĩ nhiên từ lúc nào, và vì cho là dĩ nhiên ấy nên tôi lại càng trân quý cái tình bạn đẹp đẽ này hơn. ấy thế mà, tôi lại không hiểu được tâm tư tình cảm của cậu, cậu đâu muốn chỉ là bạn, cậu muốn có một danh xưng bé nhỏ mang tên lovers suốt quãng thời gian 5 năm kia, tôi biết chứ, ấy thế mà tôi lại làm ngơ đi chỉ vì bản thân tôi sợ mình sẽ đánh mất tình bạn(nghe giống như những lời nói láo để cho qua chuyện nhỉ?) tôi không dám chắc bản thân có thể trao cho cậu tình yêu đủ xứng, và khi ấy chúng ta vẫn còn quá non trẻ, tôi sợ tình yêu nhất thời sẽ khiến tình bạn của 2 ta chia cách. tôi không dám tin bản thân mang lại cho cậu hạnh phúc, và giờ đây, khi tình cảm dần nhạt phai và ta đến với nhau, che chở nhau như 2 người bạn chỉ vì quá quen sự hiện diện của đối phương, tôi vô tình đánh mất cậu, để cậu rơi vào vòng tay khác trong sự ngỡ ngàng của tôi. tôi không hiểu cảm xúc chính mình, rõ ràng là từ chối, rõ ràng là chưa hề đưa ra tín hiệu nào, vậy mà bây giờ khi thấy cậu có thêm hạnh phúc thứ 2 mà không phải tôi, tôi lại thấy đau lòng như thế, ta bên nhau khi còn dại khờ, và khi chín chắn, cậu dùng tình cảm ấy để che chở cho người thương. tôi biết cảm xúc của tôi đến quá muộn, tôi vừa mừng cho cậu, những cũng vừa nhen nhóm sự buồn bã, tiếc nuối vì đã không giang tay giữ cậu lại. giờ đây, 2 ta chênh vênh giữa ranh giới bạn thân, vừa đáng thương lại vừa đáng trách. tôi biết những điều này là không nên, nhưng xin hãy cho tôi được ích kỉ lần này, tôi mong được quay về lại quá khứ, tôi mong mình sẽ chân thành hơn đón nhận tình cảm của cậu chứ không phải những sự tin tưởng dành cho người bạn, tôi mong bản thân sẽ tự tin hơn để có thể nói rằng tôi đã thích cậu mất rồi. và lời bộc bạch này thì lại không thể gửi đến cậu, nhưng tôi sẽ cố gắng, vun đắp tình bạn chúng ta, và tôi biết rằng, một ngày nào đó ta sẽ lại được thấy những tháng năm tình bạn đẹp đẽ này(cảm ơn tình yêu cậu dành cho tôi)