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You saved my life. You made the past few years bearable. And now we are apart. I miss you. I love you.

hi,its been a long time since we spoken or text each other normally,the last time it was harsh,but what i wanna say is that im sorry for everything that i put u through when we were still close,i really wish i knew i was a asshole for the way i treated u in such i let my jealousy n watever stupidness of me takeover.i read the whole paragraph u sent,it hurts but i accept it becos wat ever u said is true,im a coward .im a loser ,a nobody.but wanna know the reason i felt confident and not a loser last year,it was becos i had some courage to message u but i destroyed it i ruin everything.i really miss u,i know its wrong n u dont like it but i cant help it becos ever since we stopped talkin,i felt lonely,the worst ever loneliness feeling ive ever felt.n i realised that im a really nobody n just a loser.i just hope uk im proud of u for ur achievements,be it big or small im always cheerin for u in my heart.youll always mean a lot to me ,i can never hate u .i just hope one day youll be able to forgive me .

I have had celebrity crushes before, but those always felt distant-just standard admiration from afar. This is completely different. It isn’t a frantic obsession; it is a quiet, genuine feeling. My hidden hope is that someday, somewhere in the world, my paths will naturally cross with Jackson Wang. I hope we get to know each other as real people, look past the spotlight, and truly fall in love.

Dear Maheen, Today's the day when we met for the very first time and i've never been more grateful for anything in my life than to have you. It's been really helpful to have a big sister like bestfriend like you to whom i tell anything and everything. You are the sweetest and most amazing person i've ever met [LITERALLY]. Thank you so much for being you and for offering me a friendship i've always dreamt about. - Always and forever, Your one and only.

Mace, this will be the last time I message you. Thank you for coming into my life; short as it was, I was truly the happiest. Don’t worry—maybe not today, next week, or next month, but I will surely be okay and move on, even if part of me doubts I ever fully will. Like I said, you’ll be the last one I love in this lifetime. I will carry this silent yearning until the pain fades—though I think I will just slowly learn to accept it while my heart is still beating. For the last time in this lifetime of mine, to my greatest love: I love you to the moon and back, Mace.

it’s almost been a year since we broke up. i still think about you sometimes and tbh i will never love someone the same after you. you were genuinely my first love and our bond was so special and unique i thought you were my soulmate. why did you have to ruin it? what did i do to deserve this because all i did was love you so much and supported you through everything. you genuinely ruined me and broke my heart. why did you do this to us. why did you throw me away so easily like i meant nothing to you, like we had nothing. i hate you and and im glad you got into that crash, and i believe karma got you for hurting me and treating me the way you did. i wish i never met you and you never meet anyone as great as i was, because i know deep down i actually was special to you at some point.

i wanna be ur girl (please)

i love you. U can grow and U can change. I believe in u.

I am sorry for everything. I am sorry I couldn't be better for you and I am sorry that I keep pulling you down. Maybe in another life, Krsna's mercy, you will soar high and maybe you will be fine. I don't know if you will make it out, but I hope you feel every aspect of that process. I am sorry for being the worst person you could have ever known. I hope you will find it in you to forget me. I don't deserve your forgiveness and you deserve to smile at least once a day. Happy belated birthday. I sorry I couldn't be more.

Lina, what the hell happened to us? I tried so hard to be friends with you after that whole thing went down, but it was like a one person effort. You didn’t try at all, so I decided to try even less than you did. And now you told him that “im acting weird towards you” you think? You [really] think, mate, when all I ever wanted was to forgive and forget, and I couldn’t get through to you to just tell me the truth. I dont know if this is goodbye. I don’t know if I want it to be goodbye. But I can’t do this anymore. Not like this. I’m going to be stubborn, and passive aggressive, and a little rude until you can get your [stuff] together and just talk to me maturely. Because all I want is to be friends with you, but I won’t if you can’t be mature about this and just talk to me. I’m sorry. (This is a version of my original draft because I didn’t know if I was allowed to swear!)

I wrote poems about you, I spoke to about you to people who wanted me. I was so blind thinking I could actually be loved. Though you did say the words I love you what are words without actions. You fell for another girl Im not angry at her though, I'm upset with you that u finally made me have hope and u crushed it. I was crying in those vms, I didn't want to confess that I was upset that u could move on so quick. Why where u so distant and rude to me before we stopped talking? Though we never dated you were the lines of poetry that filled my heart with pure joy. I never felt any kind of love like this. And I know you've moved on from me but I think about you every day. I loved everything about u that u didn't love about urself, those late night talks Mason when u would cry and you would reach out to me for reassurance and help was that all to fill in the empty void in ur heart. I never meant anything to you, I just hope you know my love for you will never go. I don't think I can actually ever hate you since I loved u more then life itself. Ur fav color is purple and it's now my least favorite color. I rmbr ur bday my now least favorite date on the calendar.

Though we lived across the world from eachother it's as if our hearts were beating right next to eachother, I loved u before I knew what u looked like and when I did ur looks were only a small fraction of the reason I loved you. Then we stopped talking and when I messaged first you had found someone else, how cud I be upset at you finding happiness elsewhere. But I still remember you told me I had a beautiful voice and that you loved me. Thank you for making me love myself I still love you. I'm always gonna be waiting for you.

its hard to not be angry at you, even though i said i never could be, and i still dont think i can be, but i hope youre happier with them, i hope they give you everything i couldnt, and i hope theyre more of a man for you than i was, whether they are a man or not, i dont know. i cant bring myself to be your "best friend" after everything though, i cant just be someones friend after ive held them so close to my worst insecurity and kissed their face, and im sorry for that

Yes, I did. I made all the mistakes that changed my life instantly, and I am taking total responsibility for what I did. I lost my way in education, in my career, and in my personal life. Yet, I have a strong will that makes me fight for success. I lost most of my time and made very minimal progress, but I don't regret it. I analyzed my mistakes, found where I went wrong, and I will rise.

I personally think falling in love is something truly unique a kind of magic that turns two people into soulmates, people say a prince deserves a life with his princess. You know it is two souls connected for a lifetime, supporting each other through everything. I have a lot of financial problems right now that might crush me at any time, but I am still working hard. I wanted a way to send an anonymous message just to say: I really love you, and I’ve waited for you all this time. Please don't take me too seriously. I totally respect fate, which is even stronger than love. If my fate is a separation for a lifetime, then let it be. I have never met you, but I genuinely care about you. I tend to like science more than pure emotional thinking: if science is strong and we are destined to live a normal life together, let it be. After all, it's all about space-time. If there is a chance I never meet you across all of time, I just wanted to leave this message here so you might read it somewhere in the world one day. (And please, don't spam my social media! Lol :D) A quick note for everyone reading this: Take care, guys, be well, and learn about finances so you don't end up taking losses like I did!

So often my heart hurts. Too often I wish I could tell you I’m fine. Too often I wish i didn’t feel the way I do. But I can no longer pretend. I’ve been dying from my own mind, succumbing to my trauma. I’ve never been ok since we first met back on May 2013. You were the only hope I had left in life. You saved me that day by the fountain but i would never tell you. I’d rather you believe I am strong. Believe that I can handle my life. But I can’t. I can’t pretend to be happy with my life. Can’t pretend that I don’t believe you when you say I’m your friend. A friendship where I’m constantly isolated from you yet everyone always with you and are closer than I’ll ever be with you. The truth of the matter is I constantly feel you only pretend that I’m your friend because i don’t leave your side. I’ve been here through your good and through your bad but yet you’re never there when I need you. Never there while I’m silently being swallowed up next to you. Despite all that. Despite my dad constantly raping me, despite getting multiple abortions, despite dating men to have a place to live even though they constantly drive me to suicide because they don’t actually love me, despite the fact that every little time you got angry at me or had one of your characters break up with me that led me to attempting to drink bleach. I can’t kill myself. Can’t let you be hurt because you didn’t do something to save me. Didn’t notice my pain and the feeling of isolation that would snap and crumble the moment you let me go as a friend. I could never hate you. I’m incapable of hating you. For you are the only thing keeping me alive. You have always been my rock and the reason I live. Even the years we never talked i stayed in hopes of you reaching out. So I’ll keep living an unhappy life, a stable toxic life, a life where I can still see you live and be happy. I’ll stay living and breaking my body for a stable life that isn’t on the streets. I know it isn’t healthy to put my happiness and hope all on you but I honestly don’t have anything else to look forward to. I should have died when I was born with my umbilical cord wrapped around my neck and a hole in my right lung, i should have died at 10 when my mom fed herself and me sleeping pills and hit my head with a fireplace log. I should have died at 11 when my dad took all the pills in the medicine cabinet. I should have died at 16 when the first boyfriend to get me pregnant shot me and the friend I kept my son at so my father wouldn’t find out and kill me. I should have died the 5 pregnancies from my dad that he wouldn’t let me go to a hospital to have that resulted them to be stillbirths. I should have died when I was ready to give up my life unable to bare being a sex doll to my dad anymore. But I never did. Life kept pushing me unhappily forward and while I keep finding brief moments of happiness it’s constantly taken away. Taken by friends leaving me, taken by men tired of my used up body. Taken by fake friends who talk behind my back. I know you’ll never discover this unless i ever show you and I hope you never do find this. I wish Jewel could just be make believe. I wish I could just separate the character of you guys from real life but I can’t. This is all real to me. The feeling of isolation from Fenrir and Ivarr, the hatred from Nate and him calling me a whore who should die, the unfriending of my character. but i can’t this is all my reality because it’s Jewel’s reality. I’m sorry as I let the blood flow down my arms again just like I had after azure left Jewel, again as Fenrir scolded for the hair dye when I did it to my own hair in real life, and finally again now seeing Nate unfriended Jewel and Sapphire from where winds meet. If I still survive this yet again it’ll just be one more unhappy day watching you have the best life. If I don’t make it finally I’ll be happy to be free of my earthly body and watch you from the afterlife to make sure you never know pain again

I’ll keep this short. You’re wonderful, you really are. You were oddly everything I was looking for at the moment. I just wished I met you at a different time rather than keeping you a secret for far too long. I hope you enjoy working at Six Flags. I hope you being a train conductor someday. I felt like I learned so much about you in 4 hours for only knowing you for 6 days…and I didn’t share much about me. It’s funny because what you taught me I’ve applied in my daily life so far…I took off with knowing you but you were left with my body. I’m still in love with my 3.5 years, I couldn’t let them go yet, I just don’t know. You deserved an explanation, and I regret that I didn’t give one to you. You were like a sweet cigarette.

Why do you think idc? i care about you soo much more than you think, more than you think, more than you can ever imagine, my love what made you think that i don't? i never wanted to make you feel hurt and i am genuinely sorry about every time i did make you feel hurt, i never treated you as an option and it will never be the case either, there's you and only you and there will won't be any other i don't see my life with anyone but you, so never ever think of you(the only person i see) as an option, cause you will never be one, i hope you know how deeply i care about you and how much you mean to me and i am sincerely sorry if i made you feel hurt, i love you so much my darling and my only one.

haloo sayangg, aku mau simpen pesan ini sampe kamu bosen sama akuu, jujur aku beruntung banget punya kamuu semoga kamu ga ngecewain aku ya sayangg, manusia pasti ada rasa bosannya jadi aku sempetin bikin text ini, kalo kita putus (kalo ya) aku minta maaf yang sebesar-besarnya, mungkin karena aku kurang merhatiin kamu atau ada kata kata yang ga enak kamu liat aku minta maaf, semoga kamu bisa maklumin aku dan maafin aku, oiya sayang jujur aku juga suka insecure lohh, karena kamu dapetnya cewe yang kaya aku, membosankan dan ga cantik, aku bener bener minta maaf kalo di segala sisi banyak kurangnya, once again, im lucky to have u. from: abel (shintiaabella)

You built like a tank x Fatty