can’t sleep. i haven’t slept properly in a week since you left. every time i try, I wake up after thirty minutes, sweating and crying from another nightmare. sometimes it’s about you leaving me. sometimes it’s about you coming back. sometimes it’s just reliving how much we adored one another, and how happy we were. somehow, even the dreams that are supposed to be good feel like nightmares when i wake up and remember that none of it is real anymore. i don’t know how to make my brain understand that i’m supposed to sleep without you now. i don’t know how to make the nights hurt less. i just know that i’m exhausted, and i miss you more than i know what to do with. dreaming of you. —mae