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It took me a while to write this letter. I Won't Follow This letter is meant more for my own solace than for you. Everything between us has weighed heavily on me, and I’ve found it impossible to express this face-to-face. Perhaps you’ve noticed my moments of emotional absence, my retreat into other spaces. I’ve come to understand that the only way to cope with abandonment is to embrace it myself. I see how you light up around people who seem to synch with your energy, a rhythm I clearly don’t match. Our goals once sparkled like stars in alignment, but now they simply fade into a darkness deeper than night. Our paths have diverged, and I’ve realized I won’t force myself to follow yours. You didn’t lose me all at once. You just kept prioritizing things that made it impossible for me to stay. When we first met, you were remarkable, someone who inspired me profoundly. But over time, I watched as you transformed into someone I wouldn’t have fallen for. You started doing things I never imagined you capable of, things which, had I known from the beginning, would have kept me from offering my heart to you at all. What hurt most wasn’t the act of leaving; it was the realization that you’d left long before I ever chose to. You lied about so many things, blind to how deeply your dishonesty hurt me. Instead of addressing your feelings, you replaced me with people who you believed resonated with you better. Why couldn’t you have been honest about it? Why let my love for you wither away slowly and painfully? Time and time again, I tried to fix what was breaking between us, but how could I save something when you were already letting it fade into nothing? I would forgive things others would consider unforgivable because I thought love meant enduring every storm together. You taught me that love and disappointment could coexist, but the kind of love we had became increasingly one-sided. You didn’t shatter my heart all at once; instead, you chipped away at it until there was nothing left of it to guard. Despite everything, I stayed by your side, even when I had so many reasons to walk away. I would have gone through anything for us, fought the world if it meant saving what we had. But how could I keep fighting when you wouldn’t even fight for yourself? At some point, love stopped feeling precious to you. Its sanctity gave way to convenience. And somewhere along that path, I ceased feeling chosen by you. The resentment set in when I realized I was clinging to the image of who you were at the start instead of accepting the person you became. There’s a difference between mistakes and choices, and time and again, you made deliberate decisions, even with clear awareness of their gravity. All the while, I gave you understanding because I hoped that one day you’d offer me honesty in return. But it never came. You turned our love into something fragile, something that needed constant defense when it should have been my sanctuary. Even in silence, the gulf between us had so much to say, though I wonder if you ever truly heard it. Maybe one day you’ll understand what silence holds, if that day ever comes. For so long, I fought battles thinking they were ours to fight together, only to discover that the fight was with you. You made me question parts of myself that were never broken until you broke them. How blind I was, I defended you to people who could already see what I refused to admit. Maybe part of you believed I’d stay in spite of everything, perhaps there was even a version of myself that believed it too. Yet time has taught me that loving myself means drawing lines where my pain begins. It’s heartbreaking that the person who once seemed incapable of such harm became the very one who caused it. I didn’t leave because my love for you ran dry; on the contrary, I left because continuing to love you felt like betraying myself. And someday, you might ask yourself where it all fell apart; when exactly did you lose me? But the answer is simple: you lost me each time you chose indifference over care. I hope the life you've chosen is worth sacrificing what could have been ours. At one point, the thought of losing you felt unbearable. But now, I understand that staying would’ve been the thing to destroy me. You used to be where I felt safest. It shatters me that you ultimately became the very thing from which I had to flee.

Come to me. Since the night you left, the shadows have grown long in my every moment. I wander through endless dusk, aching for you. Come to me. Loving you is as forbidden as the dark gift we share; you are the fire in my veins, the spark that never dies. Come to me. Though we never touched in flesh, my soul is bound to yours, and every silent month I yearn for you. Come to me. I miss you, I want you, I need you—come back to these shadows, where our love first began. I live in this exile, always reaching, always lost—until you return. Éternellement à toi dans l’obscurité, L’Amante Perdue

I don't know how to tell u this cause u are far away from me now i tried to reach u but i think it's not only the location what's separating us and i know that I never looked at me like that . I'm thankful for ur presence in my life but it has become a curse for me now. But if it was not for you my life would've been completely boring and blank page . I tried to reach u despite my mind resisting and i know u don't want to be reached anymore, it has been difficult for me to accept. I still feel nostalgic whenever I pass by ur old house cause it holds memories. I was childish and I'm childish even right now . Maybe it's my inability that i couldn't find or impress another girl. I was never good at that. I wish u message me somehow, someday, randomly ask me how I'm ? How I've been?. I love when people call me uv like u used to do once

Dear please, I miss you soo much, Joce-te why did you leave me. Please come back, I miss you. When I'm with him, I am thinking of you, thinking of you.

Çok istiyorum özür dileyelim birbirimizden, oturup anlaşalım, konuşup anlaşılamayacak sorun değildi bizimki. Ama istemedin, ben de geri çekildim. Arada özlüyorsun, storylerime bakıyorsun biliyorum, belki sen de yazmak istiyorsun ama -iyi biliyorum ki- benim sert duvarlarımı, senin tekrardan reddedilme korkusu geri çekiyor seni. Bir cesaret bulsan, geri dönsek, unutsak her şeyi. Belki de kafada kuruyorum ve özlediğin kişi ben değilim, ya eski sevgilin -fotoğrafları bile duruyor- ya da başka bir kız var. Herkes bana “senin gibi bir kız, böyle erkeklere bakmaz” diyor, kusura bakma ama haklılar da, belki de bu korkutuyor seni, ama inan ki gerçekten gece 3’te sarhoş halinle yazdığın bir “özledim” mesajı yeterdi yeniden başlamamıza. Benim ilk defa bu kadar açıldığım, ilk defa yakınlaştığım erkeksin. Sadece 1 haftalık, senin gözünde hiçbir şey bunu biliyorum, belki de varlığımı bile unuttun , çünkü ben insan içinde görünmezim. Ama benim gibi zor seven birisi için çok önemli. O mesaj gelmeyecek, her şey bitti. Bir gün başkalarını seveceğiz, onlar için güleceğiz, ağlayacağız. Bir gün gerçek aşkı bulacağız. Böylesi daha iyi olacak. Benim için her zaman “ilk öpüşme hikayem” olarak canlı kalacaksın. Ama sen bir gün beni unutacaksın. Kendine iyi bak olur mu? Bir de son ricam, eğer mümkünse, beni güzel anar mısın? Hoşça kal benim tatlı ilk öpücüğüm :)

sabi mo magccool off lang pero bumalik ka sa girl bsf mo. im sorry to be the cause kung bat need mo iignore girl bsf mo dati because i got a little jealous kasi she was always the one with you, you even ignored her dahil you knew i was kinda jealous even though i told you that it was fine since close naman kayo and then one day nagkaroon ka ng fam prob which i respect pero ang sakit kasi nung nalaman ko na kaya mong sumandal sa girl bsf mo and ex mo pero ako hindi mo nakakaya? i comforted you kasi mahal kita pero ang sakit kasi, kasi pano mong nakakaya hindi ako ichat ng ilang weeks? you deactivated your acc and nag seen kalang sa messages ko. ang sakit ng ginawa mo. minahal kita ng sobra sobra. i know its just a cool off pero kaya mokong sandalan and if its not comfy for you then its fine, know that ill always be there for you pero minsan kasi masakit na. kasi how could you leave me and never reassure me? im not perfect but gagawin ko lahat just to make you happy. i even left a plushie with your fav chocolate and a handwritten letter that took me some time to make kasi it was your bday at that time and inabot ko sa bsf ko dahil magkalapit kayo ng bahay pero hanggang ngayon di mopa nakukuha. am i nothing to you? am i a liability? san ako nagkulang? i spent nights crying because i couldnt get you off my head and because of the problems i am facing rn. im sorry if i couldnt be better and im sorry because they treated you like that. honestly, you deserve better, mahal.

I've lowkey forgotten your name but i swear i didn't mean to skip you😭😭😭 i miss you girllllll u were the only one i vibed with -X.O.X.O yuri from phil

I wonder how you are to be honest i really do regret our relationship i hope you're happy tho but tbh i want nothing to do with you idk if it's to harsh but dude like i really really really regret na pinatulan kita kasi to think i gave my first kiss and etc to you and in he end you were just a phase lesson learned ka lng so sadd anyways I'm sorry for the hurt i caused you ad I'm sorry because i started this but im glad i was the one to end it - someone who wishes they never knew u 🥰-C.Y

The devil couldn't reach me, so he made everyone see the softest part of my soul. Just to walk through them like a door. I look down at the blood I blamed myself for, After blaming myself for someone elses problems. I can never speak without it turning against me, Calling me annoying, Sensitive, Loud. But I am just as strong as anyone else, but I can never find the words to express that. No one listens anymore, They making me feel terrible just for speaking my mind, Or turn my words into something rude just to give another reason to hate me. Trust me I'm trying my hardest for you, No matter how many times you go running to my friends to talk crap about me. I'll find out sooner then later. Sometimes I feel like being myself is a crime I comitted, Like I need to tie my tongue down just to keep you happy. People held my hand, while teaching me it was so hard to keep loving me. Why is it I can't shut up? Every word I say is turned into pieces of sand, And walked all over. I am walking on egg shells, and I don't know where to jump. The devil couldn't reach me, So he made everyone see the kindest parts of my soul. Just to walk right through them.

Dear Ismu, I'm sorry. I don't know what I'm apologizing for, but I wish our friendship was stronger. I wish we could've gone back to those old days, where everything felt so fleeting, but most of all I wish I could understand what went wrong. Now I think of you everyday and I wonder if you think of me too, I wonder if you think of how long it has been since we called, or when was the last time we met in person. Wish I could be there for you right now. Being a long distance buddy with you isn't going to well on my end. Imagine the chances of you finding this lolol :p -Numi

Dear Fayez, I think one of the biggest regrets I carry is leaving without saying goodbye. And sometimes I wonder if you hated me for that. Or maybe you waited for me to come back while I kept pretending I was okay walking away from someone I loved so deeply. The truth is, I was not okay at all. There were so many things I wanted to say, but I was afraid of my own feelings. Afraid that if I spoke to you one more time, I would stay. So I disappeared instead, and I know that must have hurt you. You were never just a phase to me. You were my first love, the person who knew my heart from miles away. Even now, after all these years, a part of me still feels guilty for ending our story. I told myself to move on. I tried. I remember you told me that I should find someone better than you and is worth my time. I really did. I found someone who treats me good, someone who stays, someone who tries. But a part of me is still looking for you in everything he does. And I feel so guilty for that because I don't have a choice. It's like choosing reality or I'll keep fantasizing that we will meet one day.. that your family will like me.. that we will have our dream family. He is good to me… but sometimes I still wish it was you. I wish it was you loving me. I wish it was you choosing me everyday.. staying with me. I wish you fought for me the way I always hoped you would. And you knew that. I'm sorry.. I'm really sorry but I think we're better off this way. I wanted you to fight for me, Fayez. I wanted to feel like losing me would matter enough for you to hold on tighter. I got tired of carrying the relationship alone while pretending I was still happy. Leaving you was not easy for me. It felt like tearing my own heart apart and forcing myself to live without it. But staying was hurting me too. And I did not know which pain was worse anymore. I need you here with me because I only love you and it hurts seeing someone new who is not you.. but It doesn't matter now right? You'll move on right? I know you'll find a great woman whom your family will love. If I could go back, I would thank you for everything.. for every moment you made me feel loved. I would tell you that leaving you was one of the hardest things I ever did. And God knows I don't want to do that. I want you to know that I never stopped thinking of you. I never stopped caring. Maybe in another life, we met at the right time. Maybe in another world, we were less broken, we were less complicated. Maybe there, we finally got the ending we used to dream about. But in this life, all I can do is carry the memory of you with me. Not as something I regret loving, but as someone who once became my whole world. I hope this letter will reach you, and I hope that someday when you read it, you will have already become the person you always wanted to be. Fayez, I want to say this for one last time. I love you, infinity. — Angela

It's hard feeling like that. I know it is. But you are incredible. Because if you look up to the sky, I can guarantee you'll never find a star that shines as bright as you.

i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you please come back i will do anything for you i will worship you i will treat you like a fucking god come back my love please please please come back i beg you i will never find anyone like you i will never see anyone the same way as you i'd do anything please come back please please please you're my first thought in the morning and the last thought as i go to bed you're everything to me and it hurts it hurts nothing feels good without you i want you so bad anything for you

Goodbye… I know I had promised to never contact you again, trust me, I tried my best but my heart couldn’t leave without saying goodbye As I’m writing this, my eyes are full of tears, I’m still hurt and full of pain. The decision I took of cutting you off my life wasn’t because i didn’t love you anymore, but it’s because I loved you so much that I wanted you to be happy. I knew that I wasn’t where your happiness lied, so I wanted to give you a chance to do whatever it is that you wanted, without me interrupting all the time. I also needed to choose myself because I finally realised that you were you were never gonna choose me and that’s okay because people are allowed to love whoever they want to love. I know you never apologised but I want you to know that forgive you for all the pain that you’ve caused me, I feel like I have to let everything go before I go.. I didn’t want to carry this onto my new chapter, By the time you read this, I will probably be on a flight going back home or I have probably arrived, I just wanted to make sure that I send this before I leave the grounds of the city because I knew I wouldn’t have the heart to see you again, it would’ve probably hurt me more. Anyways, it’s alright, I guess the last thing I want to say is that I always wonder what happened, maybe one day you will explain it to me, and maybe on that day I’ll fully understand… until then I hope you live your best life and really do all the things you said you would.. As for me? I’ll be in my hometown pursuing my dreams, if you ever find yourself that side one day, give me a call… But for now, goodbye Lots of love, MM

Bro, you are my bestfriend since 7th grade. I always wondered how can i talk to someone as beautiful as you. Now, you are one of the most trusted persons in my life. Recently I am feeling differently about you. I am attracted to you.I dont want a relationship because of my faith but i just want to let you know.Please remain the person you were to me after this..

what can i do, what can i say everything is over now... yet i'm still the same person who fell for you at the beginning. late night, i find myself crying over you i reread our texts and think about the future we once planned together every song seems to remind me of you, somehow...everything is about you i didn't realize my feelings were this deep until now, but there's nothing i can do anymore you were my first in everything.. the first person who truly gave me the feeling of being loved the first person who always listened to me, cared, and stayed beside me. i know i hurt you so badly, i was still immature back then, just child who didn't fully understand things yet....but one thing i never lied about was my love for you, i loved you purely, sincerely, and without any hesitation. a longgg time ago, i used to dream about us..about the future we could build together.. i wanted us to grow better and better, to become succesful together fi dunya wal akhirat. but now i'm afraid i don't think i'm worthy of saying those things anymore and i don't want to hurt you anymore..

To the man whom I love though I don’t know your name or your face or your identity, I am such a fool to love you like this. Yes, you didn’t read it wrong, I love you, not “like” or “crush”. At first it was not you, it was Slay. Then there were more TikTok clips about you and I heard your name from your few but loyal fans. And I became one. I thought and watched about you day and night, day and night. My heart started beating so fast when I saw your little kicks as you read the love letter of a Laotian soldier to a girl from our beloved country, the way you walked, and when you called Môi Xinh to move back. It was such a cute voice; you sounded very young, younger than the age that was supposed to be for a Junior Lieutenant. I should remind you one more time: that I love you. Now I'm seeing pictures of you smiling on my laptop screen. So many times I poked and touched your puffy cheeks through the screen, through your mask. Every night I watched your clips before going to bed–it was a form of meditation. When your body moved close to the screen, in my mind there were rolls after rolls of scenes of me hugging you, being embraced in your arms, and smelling the scent of your sweat after a hard day of training. I sounded like a harassing jerk, I know, but my love had been so full my heart could not contain it anymore; so it flowed out and covered the whole of my body, my very body being, that I love you. I wanted to share all of the moments with you–oh, how happy and fulfilled it will be, to talk and share with you, and I will call you “bò sữa BV đáng iu nhất thế giới”, for you’re not only handsome but look like a sweet teddy bear. It would be very cozy to be shielded in your arms, feeling your rigid chest in the icy, stormy winter. Recently, I have been accepted to work part-time at a coffee shop. I am trained to bake, and I have never done such things before. I was born with a clumsy hand and a slow brain. So I made an ugly-shaped donut, and I broke a bánh mì into bits when I cut it. And of course, I was yelled at by Mrs. Boss. How would she and Mr. Boss talk about me tonight when they’re at home? I don’t know. Would they laugh at me? Would they be so angry that they plan to fire me the next morning? I don’t know. But my heart’s so bitter. I do not deserve you. I am nothing. You’re the essence of our humankind. No, I do not deserve you at all. But my mind doesn't listen, my heart doesn't listen. Oh, my dear, please tell me, what should I do with you? I am mourning over my broken pieces of heart.

you probably won't see this letter for a while... maybe days? weeks? months? maybe even years from when this is being made. i know that we are having a rough patch right now, and i'm hoping that we'll be okay and stronger than ever after this. i love you so much and i can't bear to lose you. i want to keep giving you my all, i want to be someone who you'll be proud of and not disappointed at, like always.. i want to love you even if i don't know how to do that to myself. i know that this'll sound selfish or it might even look like an excuse.. but, it hurts and i'm tired of everything that's happening or that has happened this year. i lost my spark, i'm always tired, i space out, i know that sounds stupid but, that's the truth. i'm depressed and i know it, but i can't ask for help.. maybe this is my "cry for help". i'm sorry if whatever is happening to me is affecting our relationship, i want to be of help to you, i want to open up to you, i want to tell you all these things, but.. i just can't. i'm sorry.

May 2026 Looking back at May 2024, how much have changed. You used to be the light, energy everywhere you went, you used to be the energy, such a confident, brave girl, you had so many friends no matter what they did to you, you were unstoppable, the kind of aura you carried was unbelievable. Look at you now, no one around, alone and lonely, always looking for reassurance, insecure, gets hurt easily, low grades. THIS IS NOT YOU! Idk what happened, why... He came when I was that version of myself, he changed me into this, and now even he doesn't care, idk... He have time for everyone else's plans, but not mine? idk how to exactly describe this feeling but i feel unseen. useless, like i lost my friends for you? to be with you, and in your eyes im no one? you weren't like this two years ago, you were a boy obsessed with me... thats the whole reason why i fell for you, i saw someone trying for me for the first time. Idk i messed up somewhere. Am i that unworthy of being loved? what did i do? what happened to me? why am i being the annoying one now? idk.. Hope happiness finds me soon, may i meet a person who values every inch of me, may i be overloaded with love, then i'll not feel like a burden to anyone. May 2027 will be better hopefully...

This is a bit random but oh well 🤍 I really wanted to go to the counter protest last year in October. I saw you as I was walking up to the group, from behind where the group were facing and I just couldn’t do it. It upsets me as it’s something I really care about. I’m not saying it’s your fault. I just wish that things had been left on a better note so there wasn’t fear of animosity or it being uncomfortable. I really regret the way that it ended between us. I wish that I had been able to process what was happening to realise that the last time we saw each other and sat talking, was actually the last time. I would have hugged you for longer and wished you well, we could have said we’d delete each others contact details and gone on from there. It really would have saved a whole world of pain. I wish that I hadn’t text you afterwards to say it was lovely to see you, that cold ‘yeah’ response was so hurtful and uncalled for. I always feel as though I’m trying to catch up with what’s actually happening around me, as if other people just know these things and I slowly piece it together months or sometimes even years later…I know for sure that I am as there’s been such a rise in awareness for neurodiversity in AFAB people over the past year or so…and I got to thinking that maybe we are both ND and that’s why we always understood each other so well. I always loved the way you see the world and how you think. Anyway, that’s waffling from the point… I wish that I could just turn off my survival response. I didn’t want to join the counter protest and end up embarrassing myself with a panic attack…like HELLO there are more serious issues going on here 😂😂… I guess it just makes me feel sad. I’m so sorry for my behaviour after we ended, the whole thing was a shitshow tbh and I kind of lost my mind for a while. I’ve forgiven myself at last but I still wish that I’d just said and done nothing. I wish we’d just hugged and said goodbye that day in August. I wish I didn’t remember that date. The 1st August 2022. If E was still living here, I know me and her would be out with a ladder cutting all the flags down. In a different world where things were ok, I believe the three of us would 😂 it’s such a silly thought, I know. But I’ve been so angry seeing the flags everywhere…the people that put them up are not good people. I know I could own them verbally, they’re so ignorant…but I really didn’t fancy making a target of myself cutting the flags down alone, you know how people can be here. Anyway…you’ll never see this. I know that. I’m just expressing myself. I hope that one day it won’t be awkward or uncomfortable. Or that maybe I’ll just do the thing anyway…I really wanted to shout at some union flag brandishing gammons tbh 😂😂 I just sat on a bench the other side and watched the whole thing…it was bizarre. But actually really interesting…people are so…you know. I really hope that you are happy and doing very well, thank you for all the lovely memories and again I’m so sorry for how I behaved after we ended, I was very wrong and I know that. Sending love from a distance, always. M 🐌 xxx