Dear Fayez, I think one of the biggest regrets I carry is leaving without saying goodbye. And sometimes I wonder if you hated me for that. Or maybe you waited for me to come back while I kept pretending I was okay walking away from someone I loved so deeply. The truth is, I was not okay at all. There were so many things I wanted to say, but I was afraid of my own feelings. Afraid that if I spoke to you one more time, I would stay. So I disappeared instead, and I know that must have hurt you. You were never just a phase to me. You were my first love, the person who knew my heart from miles away. Even now, after all these years, a part of me still feels guilty for ending our story. I told myself to move on. I tried. I remember you told me that I should find someone better than you and is worth my time. I really did. I found someone who treats me good, someone who stays, someone who tries. But a part of me is still looking for you in everything he does. And I feel so guilty for that because I don't have a choice. It's like choosing reality or I'll keep fantasizing that we will meet one day.. that your family will like me.. that we will have our dream family. He is good to me… but sometimes I still wish it was you. I wish it was you loving me. I wish it was you choosing me everyday.. staying with me. I wish you fought for me the way I always hoped you would. And you knew that. I'm sorry.. I'm really sorry but I think we're better off this way. I wanted you to fight for me, Fayez. I wanted to feel like losing me would matter enough for you to hold on tighter. I got tired of carrying the relationship alone while pretending I was still happy. Leaving you was not easy for me. It felt like tearing my own heart apart and forcing myself to live without it. But staying was hurting me too. And I did not know which pain was worse anymore. I need you here with me because I only love you and it hurts seeing someone new who is not you.. but It doesn't matter now right? You'll move on right? I know you'll find a great woman whom your family will love. If I could go back, I would thank you for everything.. for every moment you made me feel loved. I would tell you that leaving you was one of the hardest things I ever did. And God knows I don't want to do that. I want you to know that I never stopped thinking of you. I never stopped caring. Maybe in another life, we met at the right time. Maybe in another world, we were less broken, we were less complicated. Maybe there, we finally got the ending we used to dream about. But in this life, all I can do is carry the memory of you with me. Not as something I regret loving, but as someone who once became my whole world. I hope this letter will reach you, and I hope that someday when you read it, you will have already become the person you always wanted to be. Fayez, I want to say this for one last time. I love you, infinity. — Angela