Confession

i'm just getting to know you, but i think something could happen between us. look my way again, sit with me in english and history, talk to me about music, maybe even ask for my number, and you've got me. <3

Alam mo, kahit anong pilit kong paliwanag, kahit ilang beses kong sabihin, my love for you will always be greater than words could ever express. Paano ba ipapaliwanag ang pagmamahal na hindi nasusukat ng salita? How do I even begin to describe something so deep, so real? Hindi kaya gawan ng paraan ng mga letra na ilarawan kung gaano kalalim ang pagmamahal ng puso ko para sa 'yo. Nalulungkot ako na nasaktan kita—not once, but twice, or even more than that—pero ngayon, sigurado na ako sa 'yo. Alam kong mahirap paniwalaan, pero sana subukan mo pa ring bigyan ako ng pagkakataon. And if I could spend a lifetime proving it, I would. Because the truth is, even if I say "I love you" a million times, it will never be enough to capture how much I truly do. Makakaasa ka na nagbalik na 'yung dating ako na minahal ka ng higit pa sa lahat-lahat. I don't know what my future holds, pero umaasa ako na ikaw ang kasama ko doon. Hindi ko alam kung ano ang naghihintay sa akin sa bukas, pero sigurado ako sa isang bagay: I'm praying you're in it. Sa bawat pagpikit ko, iniisip ko kung anong klaseng mundo ang bubuksan ng tadhana para sa akin. Will it be kind? Will it be cruel? Pero kahit ano pa 'yan, ikaw ang tadhanang hinihiling kong makamtan. I know life is a series of questions without answers, parang pelikulang walang script, but if there's one thing I'd bet my heart on, it's you. Sa lahat ng hindi sigurado, ikaw ang bagay na gusto kong panghawakan. I don't want just a future; I want our future, and I'm praying, hoping, and fighting for you to be in it. From the quiet parts of my heart, I just want you to know how much you mean to me every single day. I may not be the best woman you've ever met, but I want you to know that I have always been sincere in my feelings for you. I've never pretended to love you—my emotions have been genuine from the start. Rest assured that I will never leave your life unless you want me to. And if you ever find someone better than me, don't hesitate to let me go. Everyone deserves the best, especially you. Kung dumating man 'yung araw na sarado na ang puso mo para sa 'kin, tandaan mo na kahit anong mangyari, palagi kang may puwang sa puso ko, palagi akong susuporta sa 'yo, at palagi kang may taong tatakbuhan sa mga araw at oras na pinanghihinaan ka ng loob. In case I don't say it enough: I'm proud of you, I'm rooting for you, and I love you. Don't push yourself too hard; may panahon para lumaban at may panahon din para magpahinga. Kung dumating man ang araw na manghina ang loob mo, sana isipin mo na may ako na pwede mong takbuhan anytime and anywhere. Mapagod man ang mundo sa 'yo, asahan mong may isang taong hindi mapapagod na saluhin at mahalin ka—at ako 'yon. I’ll always be your greatest silent angel. I’ll never get tired of believing in you, cheering you on, and celebrating every step you take toward your dreams. Gusto kong maging saksi sa lahat ng tagumpay mo—in every achievement, every breakthrough, and every little moment that makes you proud of yourself. Kahit gaano pa katagal o kahirap ang proseso, hindi ako mapapagod na suportahan ka. I hope you think of me every single time you see the moon, the stars, and the fireworks lighting up the night sky. Let the moon remind you of my quiet love that stays with you even in the silence, let the stars remind you that I’m your ally fighting alongside you in the dark, and let the fireworks remind you of how much joy you bring into my life. No matter where we are or what season of life we find ourselves in, I will always be your constant light, your safest space, and your number one supporter in everything you do. GI, PINIPILI KITA DAHIL MAHAL KITA. And to the world, he may look strong, but to me, he'll always be my little mumu quietly fighting battles he never talks about. I see the weight he carries behind his quiet smiles, and I wish I could take away every burden on his shoulders and replace it with pure peace. Until I can shield him from the noise of the world, all I can do is pray. God, please watch over him. Keep him safe, protect his heart, give him strength when he feels weak, and remind him that he is deeply loved, even on the days he forgets it. Wrap him in Your comfort whenever his thoughts get too heavy, and let him feel that he never has to carry the world all by himself. Guide his steps, ease his tired mind, and please bring him home safe to me. That's all I ask.

I hope you find my letter when you already feel warm and it warms you more. I want you to know that i love you so much you would never understand and when we met about a decade ago i befriended you first cuz i liked your personality alot. ill always be your twin :3 #twinssincedayone #myunc #iloveyou #neverevergettingridofme #loveumorethantheworld

Hii rein hahaha, I actually want to call you rein mas natripan ko siya hahaha. So anw, sinulat ko 'to rein para magtapat ng nararamdaman ko. I know weeks palang tayo mag kakilala, although hindi lubos na magkakilala but dun din tayo mapupunta soon. I actually want to know you more, everytime I talk to you I find myself smiling. Like, who are you ba in the first place. Stranger lang tayo before but ito na nagkausap tas ayun nagkakilala. Then in the end ako naman 'tong hindi mapigilan ngumiti pag nakakausap ka. Rein, everytime na busy tayo parehas ikaw lagi pumapasok sa isip ko wondering ano na nangyayare sayo hahaha. I know naman na mas busy ka dahil sa profession mo na yan and I truly understand. No matter how busy you are, I'll wait for you. Kahit na sabihin mo pang "sa una lang yan", let me prove it to you rein by my action. Hindi ako creative but I will do anything just to make you happy because you're worth it. If tatanungin mo ako kung ano 'yung nagustuhan ko sa'yo, wala akong specific answer para diyan. Pero ang masasabi ko lang, lagi na kitang hinahanap. Nag-ooverthink ako kapag nakikita kitang online (not in a bad way), pero naisip ko lang kung napapansin mo ba 'yung mga chat ko o kung kakausapin mo pa ba ako sa susunod ganon lang. Plus pa, iyang kagandahan mo kahit bareface ka, ang ganda mo pa rin para sa akin. Lalo na 'yang dimple mo, hehe. Rein, hindi lang 'yung presence mo ang hinahanap ko, it’s actually you. The fact na you can really make me think of you even if we aren't talking at the moment. I honestly cannot say na may sagot ako sa tanong nayon, but I will say that you are the very reason why I am happy each and every day. Maski sa pag gising ko ikaw agad ang chinecheck ko.  Sorry kung padalos dalos ako but hindi ko na kasi kayang i-keep pa 'tong nararamdaman ko. It's hard na pigilan parang magiging simp na ako kakaisip sayo huhu. For that short time na nag uusap tayo masaya na ako, even your simple updates it really makes me happy and also assume things na baka bet mo din ako hahaha. But I will work hard for us, I'll do my very best, I will be the man you want. I'm a man of word, rein. Sa dami ng sinabi ko and isa lang kalalabasan niyan haha. Rein, you're the person I want to share good news with and the only one I want to turn when things go wrong. I care about you, I care about your happiness and career more than almost anything else. I like you rein, I’d really like the chance to show you how much I care about you. You are like a paraluman na dumating sa mundo ko. So, this may be sounds a bit traditional, but I'd like to court you rein. May I? No pressure, no rush, just take your time.

Oh you've got me wrapped around your finger good. I can't seem to find a way to escape this feeling, and rightfully so, it's overwhelming and scary dude. It feels wrong to feel this way with you we're friends and you've got someone you're yearning for, and even so if you didn't I don't think we'd be each other's. I'm in a world far away from you, and yours is better while I'm just here. Trapped in a cage I've built myself while you're freely you. You say we're so similar in many ways and that we're just the same person, different fonts—I don't see it that way. You're everything I've ever wanted to be, and you're everything I've wanted to have; someone who's love I've dreamt about. While I've been trying to understand love, you've been living your life with love. How glad I am to have you in my presence. I am a bit jealous over that guy you've been crushing on, but I don't have the right to be like this. I'm your friend and it stays that way. I really wish you the best, my angel. -Aen

Dear Dominic, I don’t really know if you’ll ever read this, and maybe that’s okay. I think I’ve spent so much time replaying everything in my head that I just needed somewhere to put the words instead of carrying them around. I know you knew I liked you, and I know things probably looked strange from your perspective. Maybe I came across as too much. Maybe I made you uncomfortable. Maybe you thought I was crazy. If that’s how it seemed, I’m genuinely sorry. That was never what I wanted. The truth is much simpler than it probably looked. I had a crush on you, and because I barely knew you, my mind filled in all the blanks with hope. Sometimes hope makes people do things they normally wouldn’t. It makes them overthink every interaction, wonder if a glance meant something, or read too deeply into small moments. Looking back, I know I probably built up an idea of you more than I ever got the chance to know the real you. I think what’s been hardest isn’t that you didn’t like me back, it’s the embarrassment that came afterward. Knowing you probably saw me differently than I saw myself has been difficult to carry. I keep wondering what you thought when my name came up, whether you laughed about it, whether you rolled your eyes, or whether you just wanted me to disappear. Those thoughts have been louder than I’d like to admit. I’ve questioned myself over and over, asking if I really was as weird as I feel now. I replay everything, searching for the exact moment I crossed a line or became someone you’d never want to talk to. Maybe there wasn’t one moment at all. Maybe things just weren’t meant to be anything more than two people who briefly crossed paths. Still, it’s hard not to wish I could go back and handle everything differently. The age difference was something I thought about constantly. It was one of the reasons I never really tried to talk to you much in the first place, because I knew it could make things awkward. I never expected you to feel the same way, and I never wanted to put you in an uncomfortable position. I just couldn’t help how I felt. Feelings don’t usually ask for permission before they show up. They don’t care whether the timing is right or whether the situation makes sense. They just happen. I wish mine had been quieter. I wish they hadn’t made me overthink so much or made me feel so exposed. For a while, I let this whole situation convince me there was something wrong with me, that caring too much somehow made me broken. I’m trying to believe that isn’t true anymore. I’m writing this because I don’t want this to be a story I keep carrying forever. Whether you thought I was weird, immature, or simply someone you didn’t know, I accept that I can’t change your opinion. What I can change is how I see myself. I don’t want to keep calling myself crazy for having feelings. I don’t want one crush to become the thing that defines my confidence. I hope, if you ever think about me, you don’t remember someone “crazy.” I hope you remember someone who was awkward, outgoing, kind, thoughtful, maybe a little too hopeful, but ultimately just a person who liked you and didn’t know what to do with those feelings. I truly wish you the best, and I’m ready to let this become a chapter that is left unfinished, instead of the whole story. Thank you for reminding me that sometimes growing up means learning to let go with kindness, even when your heart doesn’t want to. I truly wish you the best.

right person wrong time in another life i pray to god just maybe i wish i was your girl

i am with you in college , i know you will never find me , but i really love u ..the way u look me . the way u trust me makes me feel erotic . i know its not right but u look so handsome i cant even tell u . but u are so unclear about your feelings so i am also done with your breadcrumbing behaviour. so goodbye

Hey Barnie, This project was hella good with you innit mate, I really hope to see you again, you are AMAZING and Caring person, tbh I have a Huge Crush on you, it doesn't matter who am I bc Im kinda closeted and it was uncomfortable to me to tell you in person, bc of u knew that I am gay idk how you would have reacted Soo I kept quiet, ik u had crush on some other boy but it doesn't matter maybe u didn't, either way.... Hope to see you soon XCX Anonymous

you know se suka ko dry tk wkwkw tpi yk I never say ya ima sit how would yk kalo I gapernah blng hehehe but just know its been 11 years and guess what u blm tau or I yg blm tau? maybe well be tgt but who knows? ya somehow ur still here walau yg lalu pas P3 I pindah I though ill never see u anymore but ternyata u also moved unexpected sit but when ik u pindah I happy but time flies now were jh2 no more primary but just know I masih like u so maybe just one day ya? when u read this or never? who knows? so much question deh pokoknya just know ur the guy that FIRST made me know ab love/crush gt and ill say the dream I mean MY dream to be w u gin yaaa you'll always be the first guy I admire and I think ill always will so I wish ya yk and u feel the same way even tho u broke me yg lalu by saying things abt me but somehow I still so fcking bingung knp se such sma kamuuu. really, I really wish y like u know u like him when u dream things act him delulu sih but that's me:)

I am a 16 F, and I've always loved romance stories. The romance stories I have read were strictly hetero. I've grown to view love as something nice to have. But it was always limited to hetero, as that was what I was taught. I saw a few people who didn't fit the "normal" for the mass, and I wondered why they would feel that way? "Wouldn't it be weird?" I wasn't a homophobe or anything, family taught me to accept anyone because all people deserved to be respected and loved, even if they weren't the same as you. But I still wondered why, my first exposure to media like those, was when I was in my first year of high school, and I found LITC while scrolling on a recommendation list. I loved it. I adored it. It held a special place in my heart, kind of like the first book I bought. And that gave me understanding to why people chose to love a certain person, no matter who they were. I was captivated by the story, it was beautiful, tragic, calming, heartwarming, and realistic. In some part of my life, I became a yearner, I wanted to feel what the other teens were feeling. But I just couldn't, I tried to do things that kids in-love were doing, having crushes, writing about them, painting pictures. And in the midst of me exploring the world, I got caught in not so good representations of so called "love". I was lucky to still have guidance through friends, family, and kind peers who told me those weren't love. That was 4 years ago, and it's funny to think about the childish me yearning for something I'm not ready for lol. And the result of all my wandering was that I was Aroace, which explained why I wasn't so keen on keeping or making romantic relations. I put that thought off for for a few months because I couldn't accept that I was "weird" or "different" even though I accept people like that. And only a few months ago I finally had the acceptance that I wasn't weird or anything out of the ordinary, I was simply a person who had my preferences. And if people wanted to comment on it, I don't have to debate, since they haven't been in my shoes. Fast forward to now, I'm having a little confusion, because I have known myself as completely straight, in terms of preference I've always picked men, because it was the usual for me, and I was attracted to them. But now... I can look at women and can think about the same things I've thought about with men. Back then I couldn't view myself liking women (do I actually like women???) and whenever I do I'm just uninterested and go back to men. Now I'm suddenly having thoughts about ladies and me with the word "romance" although I'm still not interested in romance unlike the average person, I love dreaming about scenarios where I have someone (A coping mechanism in tandem with my love for music) and I get the same fuzzy feelings I feel if I were to think abt men. And this has me confused, and also scared. Because this isn't my normal, and I have presented myself as someone hetero (although mistaken as lesbian) all the people who know me, know me as this straight girl. And it would make them view me differently if I suddenly said "I'm attracted to women too" and I've tried to deny it, but now it won't leave my mind, although what I feel is just attraction to the same sex, it feels like I'm committing a crime. To the friends I knew, to family. I have been told in my lifetime that don't be like them, just support them. And now it has me scared that if they found out, I won't be loved the same anymore. I know my friend's would accept me for sure, but I don't know about family. Sure my label is bisexual, but it still feels scary. I said so many things didn't I l? Lol don't worry my letter is ending. My main takeaway from this vent/rant, is that I found out that I wouldn't mind eventually dating/loving (if ever I find someone who gets through me) a person whether they are the same or opposite sex with me. Because being/feeling loved is enough for me. Whether it is a man or a woman, they can provide me with the same level of love, care, passion, loyalty and etc. because I wanna be loved by a person. Wether they are forever friends, or lovers. And even if I hide it now, my heart knows that I'll be okay as long as I'm happy and healthy with someone whom I love, and loves me. Maybe I'll come back here one day to tell you guys what happened to me regarding this topic, but for now I'm content and feeling safe with keeping it in me. So, why can people love anything but not 'anyone'? That's my question to people who oppose some types of love. -Love, L (who someday might become openly gay, or maybe not ♥)

I have the most sweetest dream. He unblocked me and then we talk for an hour, funny right? cuz joke aside he would never unblock me. I still have no idea why did he need to end our relationship and go play his games like nothing happened after. Is it creepy if someone stalk their ex's whole game account's profile just becuasr they miss them? and learned how to play game that they dont even know how to play or like before (asking for a friend) i really miss you tho dear yuma, i dont even think i will forgot you cuz you keep appearing in my mind telling me you love me all over again... sighh seriously is it normal if someone do that? i haven't done it yet.... yeaahhhh heh -Your K 💐

Hello, Love. Just wanna say "hi", even you won't reply. You know, I have a lot of something to say.. But, I guess.. I'll just keep it myself 🤷🏻‍♀️. Honestly, I really want to talk to you, confess (again and again), have a long deep conversation with you, hang-out with you, I want to get to know you more. Unfortunately, we can't. You know we can't do that, sweetheart. This love is forbidden. And even if I say I don't care, it still does matter. We both know that. But even with all the prohibitions and obstacles, it doesn't change the fact that my feelings for you are genuine. I know this is real, admit it or not. I don't know how, when, why, or what are the reasons why I am inlove with you. I just feel it. Like what I've said before, you don't have to reciprocate me. But sometimes, I won't deny it... It breaks my heart and I can't accept the thought that you will never be mine. We will meet some other people, and you might forget me. A part of me hopes that one day, if life ever allows it, I could be your last. I want to prove my love, I want to show you and make you feel it. But maybe, I'm meant to love you quietly. I hope that you'll find all the happiness you deserve. I truly mean it. Maging tayo man o hindi sa huli, tunay kitang iibigin. Tatanggapin ko ng buong-buo, ano man ang mangyari. I'm not asking for anything, I'm just stating the fact. Sa puso ko ikaw ang nag-iisang naka lock (wala lang, ni rhyme ko lang ang "lock" sa "fact"). Kidding aside, mahal na mahal kita. 🤢💘

Eu te amo. Eu te amo muito. Mas eu sei que você não vai me aceitar, eu sei que caso aceite nossa amizade nunca mais será a mesma. Eu gostaria que você fosse menos extremo. Sei que a única coisa que posso fazer é continuar tendo sua amizade e esperando que você me veja como eu te vejo, ou pelo menos que isso morra dentro de mim. Octavia.

I suppose I always thought ‘we’ were going somewhere. You felt it too, right? You must know- the power you hold over me. Even when my mind flakes, when it tells me your face is reprehensible, your voice is grating, your personality so overtly sugary… my body still yearns for you. Despite everything, I want to make you smile, to hold your hand, to pry you wide open and crawl inside you, where it’s safe. Even now, if you’d only ask, you know I’ll give up everything for you. But you won’t ask, will you? It’s ridiculous, really, how quickly I can fall back into you. With you or without you, there’s always something missing. I know we’re incompatible. You need reassurance every other day, I need my independence. You believe so strongly- that there are ways things should be, things we should do to make it right. I’ve always thought that’s admirable; naive, but admirable. I, on the other hand, couldn’t really care less. What’ll happen when you realise that, love? What was it you said- “I couldn’t be friends with someone who didn’t try to do the ‘right’ thing” ? Friends. I’d made some dumb joke- “I don’t like you like that,” you said. If that’s true, how come you got with ‘them’ to forget me? How come you stopped talking to ‘them’ the moment I started to talk to you again? How come all those months ago, when I was dosed so high on pain killers, I could finally say ‘I love you,’ without being repulsed, and a few days later you told me you loved me ‘like that.’ You don’t know what you want. Back then I didn't know it too. Ah, but no. You “forgot,” that ever happened, didn’t you? God, it makes me feel so pathetic when I know what you do to me. One minute I’d be pleased if I’d never have to speak to you again, the next I’d want to crawl into your lap and kiss you stupid. You’ve driven me insane, don’t you know? There’s no point to this, no point waiting. What I need to do is let you go. I suppose that’s why I’m writing this; one, to confess outside the sanctity of my mind that yes, I did fall for you; two, to set myself free. It’s not fair to you, is it, my back and forth. If I let this desire- the one that demands I tie you to me and never let you go- free, maybe I’ll be a better friend. One can truly appreciate you. So, here it is: I love you. I love you so fucking much. And yet, and yet, I hate you. I hate what you’ve done to me, I hate that you live in the recesses of my mind, always. This is an act of selfishness, darling. I love you, so I’ll let you go. I’ll always love you, but, I hope, not quite like this. Won’t you forgive me?

to the person I cherish the most, simply to let you know that I will always remember you as someone who is incredibly kind and considerate. Even though we don't have many memorable times together, but..keep in mind that I will always be your friend and supporter, I will always be here. Even though we may not be in love right now, I will always be here to wait for you.Just take your time, follow your dreams, and know that you will always be my favorite among a billion others. Laila yang comel

I miss the past. Those times we laughed for hours, talking until midnight. It’s stupid of me, but I want it back. We were never a thing. Never had some fantastical love story, and I’m not even sure you were into me. But you were my light. You listened to my dumb stories, what I ate for lunch, the people who pissed me off that day. I loved that, that time where I could talk to you forever, and you would tell me what was wrong. It shouldn’t have changed. I can’t love you that way anymore. And you can’t know. I was never a choice, was I? I was the one you would talk to about girls and I would hype you up, because I loved seeing you happy. Your smile made my day. I don’t see you smile a lot anymore. At least, not really. I know the difference. I know when you didn’t sleep well, or you had a rough day with your family. I know when those girls got to you and when something good happened. I knew more than you told me, and I never let you catch on. I know what your favorite candy is, your siblings middle names and your closest friends. I know your favorite movie characters and your hobbies. And yet it doesn’t matter. My best friend. My love. It feels so strange to say that. I never intended it to go this way. But it did. And yet you’re not mine. And you don’t need to be. I know that. It still hurts.

I’ve been in a relationship for 6 months on Wednesday and it’s been the happiest and shittiest relationship I’ve been in. We’ve both one through a lot, especially him. He’s been in and out of rehab in the passed 2 months, his mental health is horrible and I’ve put him before myself. Not caring to express myself or my mental health. We have barely talked during these 6 months. I love him to bits but I also want to yell at him, go off and tell him how shit he makes me feel some days. We missed our first big days, we missed our first valentines cause he was going through things, he missed my birthday due to rehab, he hasn’t messaged me today even though I messaged him as it’s his birthday and I’m terrified he’s going to miss our 6 months. I don’t like opening up, it makes me feel vulnerable and small even if my emotions are loud and rage on like a storm. Im so emotional and mentally drained, I put everyone before me, even struggling to focus on my last few months of school. I hate my life most days but I can’t blame anyone, i dont know why i hate it. I just can’t stand it, I never have any energy or motivation and I feel so alone even when I have people around, I feel like I burden everyone including my family and friends, even strangers. I feel like such a failure in life, I try every day. Some days I wonder if im better off single even if it’s not what I want, even if my heart belongs to this man. We’re long distance and he still feels like a second home. Hes my safe space even if he doesn’t know it but I’m so scared of opening up to him not because I don’t love him but because I’m scared of how it’ll make him feel if I get everything off my chest, if I be honest and tell him that sometimes our silence makes me wish we never got together but this was never once what I thought our relationship would be like. Im always the one to message, I always check in. Even when I know I won’t hear from him, when he was in rehab I messaged him knowing he wouldn’t answer just so when he got out he knew I was thinking of him. He hasn’t told me he missed me or loves me in so long and I haven’t heard him call me any nickname that im now scared to do it back to him because what if it’s awkward. What if it makes him feel weird. I can’t even cry anymore cause I feel like I have no tears to cry even when my throat closes up and burns with emotions. Im so fucking scared. So broken, so mentally tired. Some days im ready to give up Everything. Breath. Six months. On Wednesday it'll be six months together, and somehow it's been both the happiest and the hardest relationship I've ever been in. I love you more than I know how to explain. You're my safe place, my second home, even from a distance. But I'm also carrying so much hurt that I've buried because you've been going through so much yourself. You've been in and out of rehab, your mental health has been a constant battle, and somewhere along the way I stopped making space for my own. I've spent months putting you first. I've swallowed my feelings because I didn't want to add to everything you were already carrying. I kept telling myself there would be a better time to talk, but that time never came. We've missed so many moments together. We missed our first Valentine's Day. You missed my birthday because you were in rehab. Today is your birthday, and I messaged you because I wanted you to know I was thinking about you, even if you couldn't always answer. Now I'm terrified you're going to miss our six months too. I don't even know if you realize how much silence can hurt. I'm always the one reaching out. I'm always checking in. Even when I knew you couldn't reply, I still sent messages so you'd know I never stopped thinking about you. But I can't remember the last time you told me you missed me. I can't remember the last time you said you loved me. I can't remember the last time you called me by one of the nicknames that used to make me smile. I've become so afraid of saying them myself because I don't know if they'll still feel welcome. I hate opening up because it makes me feel vulnerable, small, and exposed. My emotions are loud inside me, but I don't know how to let anyone hear them. I've been so focused on protecting your feelings that I've ignored my own. The truth is, I'm exhausted. I'm emotionally drained. I'm struggling to focus on my last few months of school because my mind is constantly somewhere else. I put everyone before myself until there's nothing left for me. I feel alone even when I'm surrounded by people. I feel like a burden to my friends, my family, even strangers. I wake up every day trying my best, but somehow I still feel like I'm failing. Some days I hate my life, and I don't even know why. I just feel empty, tired, and stuck. I have no energy, no motivation, and sometimes I can't even cry anymore. The tears won't come, even though my chest aches and my throat burns from holding everything in. Sometimes I wonder if I'd be better off single. Not because I want to leave you. I don't. My heart still belongs to you. But because I never imagined our relationship would feel this lonely. I never imagined loving someone so much while feeling so unseen. I want to support you. I want to be there for you. But I need you to know that I need support too. I need to feel loved. I need to feel remembered. I need to feel chosen. I need to know that this relationship matters to both of us, not just me. I'm not angry because you've struggled. I'm hurting because I've been struggling too, and I don't think you've seen it. I'm scared. Scared that if I tell you all of this, it'll hurt you. Scared you'll feel guilty. Scared you'll pull away. But I'm also scared that if I keep pretending I'm okay, I'll lose myself completely. I love you. I really do. But I can't keep carrying both of us by myself. I need you to know how broken, tired, and overwhelmed I've become. I need you to know that I've been silently begging to be heard, to be seen, to be Loved. Breath. I've loved this man for three years. This isn't just a six-month relationship to me, I've been emotionally invested in him for so long. When he struggles, I struggle. When he disappears, a part of me is always waiting for him. When he doesn't say "I love you," it's not just the words I miss, it feels like I'm losing the connection I've been holding onto for years. But lately, I've found myself wondering who's been loving me with that same consistency. I feel like I've been the one checking in, sending the messages, waiting, trying to understand, and making excuses because I know he's hurting. I don't regret loving him, but I know that doesn't mean my own needs aren't important. I've realised something that's really hard to admit: I can love him deeply and still be unhappy in the relationship. Those two things can exist at the same time. Loving him doesn't make the loneliness disappear. It doesn't stop the hurt when I wonder if he'll remember our anniversary, or when I realise I haven't heard "I love you" in such a long time. Wanting those things doesn't make me needy, it just means I want to feel loved, valued, and connected to the person I'm with. The truth is, this relationship isn't the only thing weighing on me. I'm in the last months of school, things at home have been difficult, I've lost my motivation, I feel alone even when I'm around other people, and sometimes I feel like I'm a burden. I've been carrying all of this by myself for a long time. I think what scares me the most isn't just talking about how I feel, it's what happens after I do. I'm scared that I'll finally tell him everything I've been holding in and he'll be hurt. I'm scared he might leave. But I think what scares me most is the possibility that nothing will change, and I'll still feel just as alone as I do now. If you read this, im slowly breaking and im sorry.

Even when I'm quiet, I love you baby I promise.

𝑊𝑒 𝑛𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟 𝑔𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑢𝑠 𝑎 𝑛𝑎𝑚𝑒. 𝑀𝑎𝑦𝑏𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑞𝑢𝑖𝑒𝑡 𝑎𝑛𝑠𝑤𝑒𝑟 𝑎𝑙𝑙 𝑎𝑙𝑜𝑛𝑔. 𝑊ℎ𝑖𝑙𝑒 𝐼 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑐𝑜𝑙𝑙𝑒𝑐𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑙𝑖𝑡𝑡𝑙𝑒 𝑚𝑜𝑚𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑠 𝑎𝑠 𝑖𝑓 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑦 𝑤𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝑝𝑟𝑜𝑚𝑖𝑠𝑒𝑠, 𝑝𝑒𝑟ℎ𝑎𝑝𝑠 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑤𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝑜𝑛𝑙𝑦 𝑝𝑎𝑠𝑠𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑡𝑖𝑚𝑒 𝑤𝑖𝑡ℎ 𝑠𝑜𝑚𝑒𝑜𝑛𝑒 𝑤ℎ𝑜 ℎ𝑎𝑝𝑝𝑒𝑛𝑒𝑑 𝑡𝑜 𝑏𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝑤ℎ𝑒𝑛𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑠𝑖𝑙𝑒𝑛𝑐𝑒 𝑓𝑒𝑙𝑡 𝑡𝑜𝑜 𝑙𝑜𝑢𝑑. from: 76 Apel girl