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Hey gig, Do you know what it’s like to yearn, to really fucking yearn, to want, to want with your entire being? Well I do. I do because one time at fair a girl with long black hair screamed the lyrics to Angel from Montgomery at me. I do because another time that girl said “you have shitty ass axe form.” I do because of how a warm hand felt in mine. I do because of a girl jumping off a rope swing. I do because of summer. I do because of Olivia Rodrigo t shirts. I do because of you. See you in three days I guess

It's been a month since I last heard from you. Perhaps that's why you found your way into my dreams, or why my thoughts still drift back to you every now and then. Maybe I simply hadn't accepted the reality of how much you've changed. I often see people through the version of them that I've created in my own mind. Perhaps I did the same with you... a bias born from believing you were someone close as a brother to me. Now, I think I'm finally doing better. I've accepted that you were never the older sibling figure I had hoped you would be. In the end, it wasn't a bond of family that I found in you. That doesn't erase all the kindness you've shown me. If anything, it's proof that you're capable of being a better person. But I don't think I can ever see you the way I once did, just as I no longer see my old friends the same way. The version of you that once lived in my mind is gone. I've turned that image into a personality that belongs only in fiction. Let Chris remain a fictional character. A character who feels entirely fictional, even if he was originally inspired by you. Perhaps that's the only part of you I can still preserve in my little museum of memories, along with the mouse you once gave me, because it was the only thing you ever gave me freely. I will always hope that, someday, someone will come along and guide you toward becoming a better version of yourself.

‎yk lately I've been thinking a lot about our relationship where u just want us to be friend so not gonna lose me, im kinda happy to hear it but at the same time, it is still just a friend tho,...its been a while since we meet and know each other its been one of my happiest momen in life, and thnks to u i can learn a lot like i feel im becoming a better person after know u, and once again thanks for that...also i wish for all thing u want to come true, like getting ur licence and live a life u always wish for, becoming someone who is independent and rich sure lol....yea i didnt know what else to say, im still love u so much to the point maybe im becoming too attractive to u and cant help it...so yea maybe..just maybe, in another life our relationship might work, and we can do lot of stuff that we always talk about...see ya don't looking for me

I should tell these things to your face coz I think you have no idea, but that's no excuse to be the way you were with me for the past year. I know we only had a short thing, and we both left it in a grey area, but the way you put me on a shelf and dust me down every once in a while, so I'm still there, affected me more than you think. The shitty thing is that regardless of how you treated me and how mad I am, I think about you all the time. It sucked so much to see you with someone you became friends with at the same time as we were getting to know each other, but they got to stay in your life and build a connection with you while you took any opportunity away from me to show you who I really am or get to know you and figure out what this thing is. It is certainly time to let this go.

Dear our Tech Guy, berhubung gua harus memberikan love notes ke orang yang paling 'digital' di AMDI, jadi gua perlu level up surat gua jadi ala-ala digital cute gitu ya mas wkwkwk yang ini versi digital jadi udah pasti rapi, nah yang sebelumnya beneran DIY hasil tangan gua yang imut ini, jadi pasti tidak sempurna dan butuh banyak improvement wkwkwk tapi real gua membuat dari hati gua paling dalam, tapi minusnnya emang idenya menarik tapi implementasinya agak kureng ya, tapi bisa dilihat dari usahanya aja ya mas wkwkwk nah ini inti notesnya: inti dari kata-kata yang akan gua berikan ke lu adalah GUA BENER2 BERDOA LU BAHAGIA DUNIA AKHERAT MAS, gua tau banyak cobaan yang lu lalui kemaren2, tapi salut lu masih bertahan sejauh ini, dan masih bisa ngasih seluruh isi pikiran dan hati lu buat pekerjaan ini, banyak utang budi kita mah ke lu mas, banyak banget pekerjaan kita yang udh level up karna hasil dari pemikiran lu yang jenius itu HAHAHAHA tapi seneng sama mas shodik sekarang makannya udah baik, terus udh suka tiba tiba cuti liburan, semoga bertahan terus ya mas masa2 indah ini buat lu kedepannya, bener deh walaupun kita sering berantem kecyil tapi gua berharap kehidupan lu full of flowers, bahagia terus, lu harus mendapatkan semua hal baik yang ada di dunia ini in return dari yang lu udh kasih ke kita semua juga semoga semua yang sedih2 kemaren udh berganti jadi lahan kebahagiaan ya sekarang mas, bener2 makasih buat semua ketawa dan bahagia yang udh lu tularin ke amdiers ini, semoga semuanya selalu berbalik baik ke lu dan keluarga lu ya mas jangan lupa sholat walaupun lu lagi ambis bgt sm kerjaan lu itu, dan dipertahan selera musik lu yang unik itu ya dah segitu aja ya mas, ayo semangat semangat semangat salam, adek lu hehehehehe

wanting to test it out

I hate you so much but I cant help but miss you,, I wish you actually liked me instead of 40 other girls. -du vet vem

I love you. I hope I won't ever find a picture of you. - Rawi

hi just so you know ive been trying to yk become chalant for you again bcs i truly like you and i want us to be together i have fallen in love with that damn smile i can never forgive myself for being avoidant or distancing myself all becuase i thought i was going to get hurt but please youre too good to be true no youre not toxic please come back my sweet boy i miss you sm i cant handle the fact that i have to face you at class and that we are good friends only no we are not and im so sorry we can make this work please come back my sweet boy...

I don’t think I have ever loved anyone more, Nor have I hurt them this deeply, I love you to the moon and back, The person who deserves your love is dead, And yet, still you love on

Hi, We're waiting for you! -Neeo

hello baby! before anything else, i wanna greet u happy monthsary! omg 9 months w u feels like a blink of an eye. ang bilissss parang kelan lang nakikipagsuyuan pa ako hsadashsk pero ayon i wanna say sorry abt sa kanina. napapasobra na talaga minsan yung pang aasar ko kaya im rlly rlly sorry. sorry sinabayan ko pa yung araw mo:( dont be mad na kay zie please? pretty pls? we've grown so much no? hindi lang as a couple but as people na natuto paano talaga magmahal and mag show up for each other. these past few months taught me na hindi lagi butterflies at hindi lagi may rainbow. we've had moments na pareho tayong nagbbreakdown at nalilito kung anong mas maayos gawin pero yk what? for me every conversation and every tears na pinagdaanan natin noon, nakahelp din siya para mas maging deep yung love natin. love isn't js really about good days, it's abt choosing eo when it's hard and im proud of us for not giving up. everytime i look at u i can't stop myself from smiling bcs u make me feel something na di ko pa talaga nafifeel kahit kanino at kahit kailan. kahit sa mga vc natin baby kahit busy ako tinitingnan pa rin kita especially kapag busy ka tapos napapangiti nalang ako kasi love kita. ang cliché siguro pakinggan na napapangiti ako kasi love kita pero ganon talaga e ang simple simple lang pero ang sarap sa pakiramdam na ganon ang nararamdaman ko towards u. alam ko baby na madami kang iniisip rn. life, acads, future mo, and work. di mo man kasi sabihin or kahit ideny mo alam ko naman na nagwoworry ka talaga. nung sinabi mo sakin baby na nag pray ka tsaka nag rant ka rin last last last night nung tulog ako sa totoo lang nanghinayang ako non na di ko nadinig kasi yun nalang yung time na malalaman ko yung nafifeel mo pero naisip ko rin na mas mabuti nga siguro na inopen mo yon nung tulog ako kasi nasabi mo lahat. kahit papaano nailabas mo yung matagal mong kinikimkim diyan pero baby kahit di ko nadinig kung ano man sinabi mo that time, gusto kong sabihin sayo na im here w all the patience, understanding, and love i could offer. i know u're trying. i see u hindi man siguro lahat pero enough to understand. baby, naisip ko lang to randomly gusto ko sa bahay natin meron doong poster tapos ikaw yung nag drawing. basta gusto ko may nakadisplay doon na ikaw yung gumawa tapos sasabihin ko sa mga visitors natin na ikaw yung gumawa non hehe. pwede ba yun baby ko? hays gusto na kita makasama:( i hate being away from u. i wanna be w u all the time. i love ur companyyy. jamby, ikaw lang ang gusto kong mahalin for the rest of my life. i'd walk thru every painful part of my life again and again if it means i'll be meeting u at the end of it. happy monthsary, my love. i love you! with all my heart, zie

I know you're going through a lot after everything that happened at home. I can see how much it has affected you, and I'm really sorry you're carrying all this pain. It hurts me when you think nobody loves you or that I'm lying about loving you, because my feelings for you are real. Before I met you, I wasn't even interested in falling in love. I believed nobody could make me happy. But you changed that. Your patience, your efforts, and the way you cared for me made me fall in love with you. Even though your house is far away, you still come all the way to meet me. Those little things mean so much to me. I notice every effort you make, and they make me feel deeply loved. I remember all of them. I'm sorry that sometimes my sensitivity makes me react badly or speak rudely. I know I've hurt you, and I truly regret it. I never mean to hurt you. If you ever feel like I'm lying or don't love you enough, please tell me. Don't keep it inside. We can talk about it together. I want us to understand each other instead of letting misunderstandings grow. I believe in you so much. I pray for your success every single day. Even when it's really hot outside, I think about you riding your bike home from college and hope you reach home safely. You're on my mind more often than you realize. I even fall asleep thinking about you. Whenever you tell me that I don't understand you, it breaks my heart. I'm genuinely trying my best to understand you better and become a better partner for you. I know I'm not perfect, but my love for you is real, and I'll keep trying every day. I'm really sorry for hurting you. I love you so much, and I don't want you to feel alone. No matter what happens, I'm here with you.

Heyy, alles Gute zum Geburtstag, Baby❤️ Ich wünsche dir einen richtig schönen Tag, mein Herz.Ich hoffe dass all deine Wünsche in Erfüllung gehen. Danke, dass du immer für mich da bist. Du bist ein unglaublich wichtiger Mensch für mich und ich bin froh, dass es dich gibt. Du hast nur das Beste verdient. Ich wollte dir nur sagen, dass ich jede Sekunde mit dir liebe. Ich liebe es, wenn du mich mit deinen schönen Augen anguckst oder mich küsst, und ich liebe dich so sehr.❣️ Ich hoffe, wir werden immer zusammenbleiben, weil ich mir keine Zukunft ohne dich vorstellen kann. Auch wenn wir uns öfter mal streiten oder nicht verstehen, werde ich dich immer lieben. Ich will auch nicht, dass du dich selbst verletzt oder dir etwas antust, weil ich dich nicht verlieren will. Und du sagst manchmal, dass du hässlich bist, aber du bist wirklich das schönste Mädchen, das ich kenne mit deinen wunderschönen Augen und deinen hübschen Haaren. Ich liebe auch dein Lächeln, es ist wirklich so süß. Und wenn ich gesagt habe, dass ich Blond mehr mag, liebe ich trotzdem deine Haare.Sie sind Wunderschön.Ich liebe auch, wie hilfsbereit du immer bist. Ich liebe einfach alles an dir.❤️ Ich weiß, wir kennen uns noch nicht so lange, aber du bist schon eine wichtige Person in meinem Leben geworden. Wir verstehen uns so gut, und ich bin so froh, dass ich dir geschrieben habe. Ich wollte dich ja auch fragen, ob du meine Freundin sein willst, aber du hast mich ja davor gefragt. Darüber bin ich auch froh. Und wegen Snapchat: Ich verspreche , ich liebe nur dich und niemanden anders. Alle anderen sind mir unwichtig. Ich will nur dich, das verspreche ich dir. Deshalb musst du auch nicht eifersüchtig sein, weil ich nur dich will. Und die drei Tage, in denen ich bei dir übernachtet habe, waren die besten drei Tage meines Lebens. Nicht nur wegen, du weißt schon, sondern auch allgemein. Selbst wenn wir nichts gemacht haben, habe ich es wirklich geliebt. Ich könnte noch so viel mehr schreiben, aber dann wird der Text viel zu lang. Alles Gute zum Geburtstag. Ich wünsche dir nur das Allerbeste. Du bist die beste Freundin der Welt und ich hab dich immer ganz, ganz, ganz dolle lieb, Babyyyyy ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

God I need a mentor like you again. Sometimes I wish you had emailed me back 6 years ago, you promised you would. I think about that silly book series about Peter and Fudge more than I should. My brother and I laugh about it on occasion. Your voice talent was very impressive. Although to him, you were a small inconsequential piece of his life. To me, you were a foundational block that I will never be able to move. He will never know, no one will ever know, that you were the first woman to see into my head and give me the greatest gift of all, support without strings attached. It meant the world to me to be given something so precious as your advice and guidance. And oh how I miss you, you were so beautiful and always so kind to me. Always figured I would be the Twilight to your Princess Celestia but unfortunately life gets in the way of desired outcomes. I still use that email btw…

nii gua bales yaa wkwkw, makasii juga bil lu udh baik sama gua selama ini. oh iyaa gua sangat amat senang kalo lagi chatan sama lu jadi nnti kalo pas lu lagi liburan chat gua aja gapapa, gua gbkl gimana' kaya pikiran lu itu?? yg mikir gua risih atau segala macem, ga samsek bill. gua gaada nungguin chat orang lain selain dari lu bil, cius deh, lu orang yg gua tungguin chatnya malah, bukan yg lainnyaa jadi lu gausah ngomong kaya gt lagi yaa. gua juga sedih nnti gabisa cerita ke lu lagii, gabisa ngeluh' segala macem lagiii gilaa, eh iya tapi gua minta maaf deh kalo gua terlalu banyak chat yg g penting ke luuu, hehe. tadi malem sayang gua ketiduran, jadinya kmrn gua gabisa cerita' malem terakhir sebelum lu balikk!! hemm yaudh lahh, nnti aja yaa pas lu balik atau pas dijengukk kan bisa ya. semangat yaa Nabil SMAnyaa, kyny emang berat gt sii tapi gua yakin bgt lu bisa bill, semangat buat semuanya gua selalu support luuu, kalo ada apa' cerita ke gua aja, kalo lu lagi cape gitu?? tapi kalo gamau juga gapapa Koo santaii. oh iyaa yg lu nulis gajelas ituuu, gua bisa dikit' ngerti kwkwkw, gua sama dia udh g Deket ko bil, gua juga temen doang sama diaa, gaada yg lebih, dia juga kan udh ada kann jadi yaudh ajaa, gua cumn mau lurusin aja sii, kalo gua g ada rasa atau apapun itu bill tenang ajaa, sama yg lu bilg kalo gua ada suka sama yg disekolah gua, lu mintanya gua g bkl pernah ngasih tau kan? gua sih maunya juga gt yaa, gua usahain sii supaya lu ga gua kasih tau alias gua g suka sama siapa'. ah udahlah sedihnyaa, nnti juga kita ketemuan lagi, eh maksudnya pas ef gua ketemu luuu gitu kann, wkkw. lu ttp jadi may besfren ko, lu bukan temen biasa guaa, luu temen baikkkkkk guaaa pokonya yaa dadahh semangat petanyaa nabielll💕💕

‎Hello, baby. Good morning! i know you‘re asleep right now, and i js want you to know that you don't have to keep saying sorry for what happened. what’s more important to me is that you chose to tell me the truth. please, ayoko nang marinig na nagsosorry ka pa tungkol doon. ‎ ‎you know, i’m really glad so, so glad that you told me the truth as early as you did. and what matters most to me is that nandito pa rin tayo, at nandito ka pa rin. ‎ ‎even though what you and your friend did broke my heart into pieces at that time, mas nangingibabaw pa rin sa akin ang halaga mo at pag mamahal ko sa’yo. kahit gustuhin kong magalit sa’yo dahil sa nangyari, hindi ko pa rin magawa. siguro dahil mas malakas pa rin ang pagmamahal ko sa’yo kaysa sa sakit na naramdaman ko. ‎ ‎alam mo naman kung gaano kita kamahal, Amyra. mahal na mahal kita. at sa kabila ng lahat, ikaw pa rin ang pipiliin ko. ang hiling ko lang ay maging tapat tayo sa isa’t isa palagi. para kahit anong pagsubok ang dumating, malalagpasan natin nang magkasama. ‎ ‎hindi ko naman sinasabing madali para sa’kin tanggapin lahat ng nangyari. masakit pa rin siya, and i know there will be times na maaalala ko pa rin lahat. pero ayoko namang hayaang yung nakaraan ang maging dahilan para mawala yung taong pinakamahal ko. ‎ ‎ang gusto ko lang is pareho tayong matuto sa nangyari. hindi para lagi nating balikan yung sakit, but para mas maging careful tayo sa puso ng isa’t isa. kasi for me, love isn’t js about staying kapag masaya lahat. it is also about choosing to understand, forgive, and stay even after you’ve been hurt. ‎ ‎and thank you kasi naging honest ka sa’kin. alam kong hindi madaling umamin, at mas pinili mong sabihin ang totoo kaysa itago habang tumatagal. i appreciate that more than you know. ‎ ‎baby, sana huwag mong isipin na dahil pinatawad na kita, wala nang naging impact sa’kin yung nangyari. it still hurts, really. ‎and the wound is still there. prro mas gusto kong makita kang maging better every day not because natatakot kang mawala ako, but because you genuinely want to love me the way i deserve to be loved. ‎ ‎hindi ko kailangan ng paulit-ulit na "sorry." Ang kailangan ko ay yung assurance na hindi na natin hahayaang maulit ito. Mas naniniwala ako sa mga pagbabago kaysa sa paulit-ulit na paghingi ng tawad. ‎ ‎mahal na mahal kita, Amyra. at kung may gusto akong panghawakan sa relasyon natin, iyon ay ang katotohanang kaya pa rin nating piliin ang isa’t isa pagkatapos ng lahat ng pinagdaanan natin. sana baby, sa bawat araw na darating, piliin pa rin natin ang isa’t isa—hindi dahil perpekto tayo, kundi dahil handa tayong lumaban para sa pagmamahalan natin. ‎ ‎sleep well, baby. i hope when you wake up, you’ll remember one thing: kahit nasaktan ako, hindi nabawasan ang pagmamahal ko sa’yo. mas lalo ko lang na-realize kung gaano kita kamahal. i love you, always :)

I’ve always believed it’s better to risk rejection than spend a lifetime wondering, “What if?” That’s why I’ve never been afraid to tell someone I love them, even if it meant losing them. But not with you. You are the one person I’m too afraid to lose. I’d rather carry a love you’ll never know than wake up to a life where you’re no longer in it. So I keep my heart quiet. It hurts to love you in silence, pretending everything is the same while every moment beside you means more to me than you’ll ever realize. I never meant for this to happen. Somewhere between the ordinary conversations, the laughter, and simply being around you, I fell in love. I thought distance would make it easier. Instead, it only made me miss you more. It only convinced me that what I feel is real. Maybe one day these feelings will gently fade. I hope they do, because loving you this way is both the sweetest thing I’ve ever felt and the most painful thing I’ve ever had to keep to myself. Until then, I’ll quietly love you from where I am, grateful that you’re in my life—even if that’s the closest I’ll ever get.

hai sayang, sayang saya dekat awak smpi u’re the first person yang saya would make letter ni utk awak.. saya sangat thankful sangat the we met each other sayang, the way u put a lot efforts utk win my heart.. awak sabar dgn saya even kekadang awak menguji saya but that's okeyyy babyyyy. macaci sebab jadi safe place saya sayangg, you healed me sayang. ingat yang i will always love you sayang. banyak bende yang awak ajar saya since we kenal hihi. Thankyou for being my best and biggest supporter and i love you more th an words can express sayang. Thankyou sebab never giveup on us. awak selalu encourage saya untuk tk giveup and awak always support saya in everything yang saya buat. instaed of convince me with "no", awak always akan ckp "i trust u sayang". having u as my love is such a blessing because i know i'll will have someone rooting for me. Lastly saya rasa saya very lucky to have that kind of love and attention coming from yo u everyday sayang. Always ingat yang saya sentiasa akan support and ada dengan awak tau yayang.I LOVE YOU

halo, 1 o'clock. zero o'clock nya udah lewat. hari ini balpon, kita ahad. aku abis nangis, aku nangisin kamarmu daritadi. aku gatau deh aku harus gimana bsk disana, kayany tambah gila deh, hahaha. omg i start cryin again, keyboardnya udh ngeblur astaga. abis itu aku buka sg mu, fotoo sama anak pare, huft, kapan ya aku bisa seleluasa itu post foto brg kamu? tadi smpet vc, 80% paused video wkwk. abis vc aku ingetin mandi, malah ngasi kabar bobo sm yg laiin, aduuh, sial bgt hidup jadi aku. aku ngantuk, tapi kalo aku tidur keadaan gini, pasti bsk pagi matanya kaya dientup tawon, jadi abis ini aku mau ke kamar mandi, mau kompres mata dulu, abis itu tidur, kamu jangan bobo malem malem ya, gabaik, wkwk. makasih, duluan.