Confession

Leave all 4 of your baby mommas 4 me

hi bsf dito lang ako magkakaron ng courage to confess kase ayoko masira yung friendship na matagal kong pinangarap—kahit mas pangarap kita. at first it start from a little crush nung gr9 then it grows sound cringe pero totoo kung gaano na tayo katagal naging magkaibigan ganon na rin kita katagal nagustuhan. pinilit kong labanan dahil alam kong mali—mali hindi dahil ayoko kundi mali kase naghahangad ako na magkakagusto ka rin sakin, na magugustuhan mo rin ako pabalik. pero hindi, anong laban ko sa mga nakafling mo? im just a low maintenance girl, hindi yung tipikal na babae na babaeng babae kumilos o gumalaw. madalas pang pagkamalang tomboy; hindi ko inasahan na mag lo-long yung feelings ko sayo at umabot ng years, hindi ko alam bakit gusto kita. i miss being your no. 1 kachikahan every night HAHAHHAHHAHWHAHHA na tipong sayo ko una ichichika lahat ng mga nalalaman ko at ganon ka rin sakin, i miss you being my bsf, my rant buddy and also kabardagulan, malayo na naging friendship natin and im so grateful na kung dati sobrang limited lang mga sinasabi mo about you, but unti unti natutunan mong mag open up, natutunan mong aralin ka at malaman kung sino ka. i felt so happy when we chat almost every night ranting or advicing each other and also magchikahan. lalo na if you need someone na mag aadvice for rs advice or to learn a girl. ikaw yung unang una kong naging sobrang close na guy, kaya umabot sa point na gusto kong burahin yung feelings ko sayo dahil alam kong mali, dahil platonic lang to dapat. masaya ako pag masaya ka sobra, at ayoko ng nalulungkot ka—kahit hindi mo alam. being your bsf is something im so grateful to have, never ko naman nakita na magiging tayo, kase even i think you as more than a bsf id rather keep you as my bsf just to be close or to be with you—and to be with you as my bsf is more grateful to have, than being with you more than just a bsf i hope you the best bff, i hope you success and to be happy. i also hope na you find peace, and the world could lighten to you. i hope someday makahanap ka ng taong gugustohin ka araw araw at walang sawang mamahalin ka ng buong buo. im just here to support you no matter what happen, im your biggest fan. if you want someone to talk to im here, just rant to me. im here to listen to you all the time. being your bsf is something i will treasure for the rest of my life at wala na kong mahihiling pa.

I LOVE YOU ALWAYS MY LOVE EVEN IN OUR BAD DAYS YOU ALWAYS LISTEN TO ME AND HEAR ALL AND ALSO CORRECT IT IN YOUR WAY. I know daghan pakog wa natunan pero gina keep up nako ug unsa ang tama para sa ato, all the time and day ikaw jud akong gusto maka uban wanay lain pangitaon. I know dili nako ma hatag tanan unsa imong gusto or unsa imong buhaton, dili pod kita bawalan ug unsa imong buhaton cause i know that I have trust in you. Truely naga selos ko pero ako ranang gina hold back para way lalis ako ranang gipalapos ug unsa mana butang. Mauwaw ko na iingon ni nimo pero mao nani "PROUD JUD KO NA IINGON NA UYAB KITA" na uwaw lang ko sa part na matymingan na sa zero days ko na naa ka maong ako jud ng mali, sorry if dili kita mapalitan ug flowers, gift, or maskin unsa pana. Naa jud koy duha ka motto na hangtod karon ako gihapong gi toman like rules jud nako "I not willing to sacrifice my ambition, my knowledge, my passio." ug "DILI KO MO PROMISE PERO BUHATON NAKO AKONG FULL EFFORT MASKIN SA GAMAY BUTANG" yun lang po. OVER ALL LOVE WANAKOY IKA INGON, IKAW UG IKAW NAJUD PARA SAKO IKAW ANG BABAENG NA AKO PONG GIPANGITA ANG BABAENG GIHANDOM NAKO LOVER BOY KASI AKO EHH KAYA LOVE YOU!! THANK YOU SA TANAN LOVIE KAY TUNGOD NIMO NI TAO TAO NAKO GAMAY BWAHAHAHA BITAW LOVE THANK YOU FOR LETTING ME LOVING YOU. Oum ang na gustohan nako nimo is kanang imong pagka understable maskin libog gamay, naga hatag kag attention in mean time, imo kung gina treat ug food ganahan jud biya kog kaon bwhahahaha, nya Independent, demure, mature, naay sariling way to solve the problem, unknown usahay pero naga hatag ug motibo na love jud ko daghan kaayo kog na kita nimo kay observer man jud ko the way mo talk sako I LOVE IT!! Bitaw Love katong first time natong nakita kita sa minute burger like lahi rajud mas gwapa man diay ka nhoo subra way atik love compliment nako mao jud ni then katong sa tahos dili ko maka wait na maka istorya ka, yes oo naka pangotana pod ko nganong ni effort ka sako then when ni ingon ka na gusto ka mo laag mao to ni yaya kitag laag meet up bwhahaha kabalo ka na kolbaan jud ko unsa akong buhaton bwhahaha nya naabot tung friend nimo na work mate morag gamay pang na balan sa lugar mao to bwhahaha pero nag fucos jud ko nimo dili nako ma liban akong mata nimo dohh as in gwapa kaayo ka bwhahahahahahahaha. Katong second meet up nato na naa tong mga cm nako wajud ko gikaulaw na nauyab kita bali ako pa gani tung gi ignore tong cm nako pati uyab niyang tomboy bwhahahahhaa katong naka uni ko bwhahaha nya naka simba ka na dress bwhahahaha mo ingon na unta kog i love you gwapa bwhahaha getting to know pani like subra maskin uyab na ilaila jud ghapon bwhahaha, bitaw love dili nako ma liban akong mata nimo kay GWAPA JUD KAAYO KA dili lng sa imong apperance ha like tanan mo kaon paman ngani bawal then here I am kada work nimo naga hatod ug naka kaon ug bawal. Katong time na gipa ilaila kita ila mama bwhahahaha nana jud si mama sako if mo laag ka na patago ayaw kahadlok na iingon nimo kauban nimo imong uyab. Ni ingon jud si mama sako na "Bob if naga laag laag mo kauban imong uyaw ayaw lag patago ha iingon sako kinsa na sya lain paminawon na patago mo kay mora rapod mog nag palihim samo maong paadtoa ng uyab nimo diri ila ilahon nato sunod na kanang ready na sya" mao to ingon ni mama maong ako nalang pod gi tuman ipa ilaila kita sa ilaha bwhahaha cringes man paminawon pero ana jud na bwhahaha maong ug balay namo balay pod nimo ug mo stay ka in mean time dili mi mo dili ana. Ang pangandoy nako para sato love nhoo is ma succesful tang duha satong mga carrier mao ra magka pamilya na happy walay gubot walay shatitanay, gusto ko maka balay na walay shagitay walay gobot walay mag domot sa isa sato oum allow ranang away para mo grow tang duha sabay. Mapa naa man ohh wala kani tanan para ni sato lovie pasensyaehh nako ug kani palang akong ma hatag pero puhon soon, kanang naa ko talaga buhaton nato na ang dili gusto pwede pod ng na hunahuna nimo listed nana bwhahaha

Hey, I know you must be busy untangling quantum theories and attending prestigious conferences. Hundreds of research papers are under your name. Undergrad and PhD students look up to you for mentorship. Your mind is called reckless no more, but valued properly. But, I am shackled here. Tethered by the world's bids. I can't immerse myself in hours of Maths and Physics self-study, because all the world wants from me is good marks in each and every subject, whether I like it or not. I am trying hard to learn things outside this enslaving syllabus, you know. To be you. To solve equations like you. To theorise paradoxes like you. But, sometimes, it gets so hard. Sometimes, you are only a vision to me. Yet, your image fuels my ambition to go on. Sooner or later, I shall reach you. Your past

V, I'm love sick. Terribly so. You should be a stranger to me, Any connection we made be through a screen and a six-hour drive. Things can be learned through a glowing box, But you know, my love, that it is harder to interpret Then being able to see one's body language as he tells the pattern of his heart. It is the touch of my person, And the rhythm of his voice That I anticipate. As I complain here, I am only minutes away from retreating back to that screen, Asking you and reading out your responses, Imagining how you would say it to my face. I try so much. And you sometimes let our talks flow easily, And other times leave me staring at a one-word response, Wondering whether or not you are going to close your own eyes forever. Wondering if the voice and touch I anticipate will ever reach me. I hate you for being like this. I hate how you shut down. But I refuse to stay mad. I'd rather seem obsessed than be ignorant Of the way you stiffen up when I mention your parents, Or your school, Or how you go dry when I ask: "Are you okay?" And then you don't say you love me back. I know you love me, But am I pressuring you? I know you are honest, and I express too much concern, And I am entirely too self-aware, But I can't help but make sure my efforts are working. You are precious to me. I don't want to be the bed you rot in all day, Because even as I held you, There would be little comfort void of emptiness. I don't want to be the blade that you tear yourself with, Because even as I felt your warmth, It would be a regret. I won't pry, I wont judge, I promise this to everyone. I only want to hear about your soul. Your art. Your city. Your sports. Your friends. Your dreams, no matter how small. "Tell me when you're comfortable enough to," "Tell me if this is annoying," "I won't judge you," And yet you seem permanently broken. I am not like the others you speak to, I learn and understand. And yet those people have made you put your walls up, So high that I feel as if i'm one of those unhelpful helpers sometimes. When I meet you, I will embrace you. I will ask for a kiss, if you'd like. And I would touch your hair. It looks so soft from the screen, Like I would bury my face in it and smell the sweetness of your soul That has been buried by the cruelty and prejudice of the world. I wonder if your voice would sound the same. I wonder if your hands would be cold and limp From the physical weight of your mental exhaustion, Or if they'd warm up when meeting mine. I may not be as big as your fears and griefs, But my love is sturdier than them. And if you'd prefer to hide from me, To stop loving me, To call this "corny," Then do what you'd like. But I'll wait as long as I let myself. Even if I have just met someone, I can read them, And I wont let myself ignore their suffering. Maybe it is a curse I have, But for you, I'll always see my curse as a blessing. Sympathy is not a weakness, Therapy is not your cure. I love you, baby (please text me back). Good night, Anonymous Loverboy (yes this is men-loving-men)

Bro, you are my bestfriend since 7th grade. I always wondered how can i talk to someone as beautiful as you. Now, you are one of the most trusted persons in my life. Recently I am feeling differently about you. I am attracted to you.I dont want a relationship because of my faith but i just want to let you know.Please remain the person you were to me after this..

good morning yank😳🤚🤚 aku cinta km banyakk, and i hope u know that with me, u don't have to pretend to be okay all the time. i want u to feel safe, comfortable, and loved whenever u're with me yaa :( jangan sering-sering overthink ya! everything won't always be as bad as what ur mind tells u, and no matter what happens, i'll still be here 4 u. ily bukan cuma pas km lagi seneng, tapi juga pas km lagi betmud, sedih, cape, insecure, atau pas semuanya terasa berat. jadi jgn terlalu keras sama diri km sendiri yaa. take care of urself for me yaa and for urself too, n don't keep everything by urself. kalau ada apa-apa cerita aja, i'll listen. let ur mind rest a little, bcs u deserve peace n happiness too ♥️ iloveuuuu so muchhh, mff klo aku kadang ga pinter ngomong, tpi ak beneran sayang km(⁠っ⁠˘⁠з⁠(⁠˘⁠⌣⁠˘⁠ ⁠)

To the man whom I love though I don’t know your name or your face or your identity, I am such a fool to love you like this. Yes, you didn’t read it wrong, I love you, not “like” or “crush”. At first it was not you, it was Slay. Then there were more TikTok clips about you and I heard your name from your few but loyal fans. And I became one. I thought and watched about you day and night, day and night. My heart started beating so fast when I saw your little kicks as you read the love letter of a Laotian soldier to a girl from our beloved country, the way you walked, and when you called Môi Xinh to move back. It was such a cute voice; you sounded very young, younger than the age that was supposed to be for a Junior Lieutenant. I should remind you one more time: that I love you. Now I'm seeing pictures of you smiling on my laptop screen. So many times I poked and touched your puffy cheeks through the screen, through your mask. Every night I watched your clips before going to bed–it was a form of meditation. When your body moved close to the screen, in my mind there were rolls after rolls of scenes of me hugging you, being embraced in your arms, and smelling the scent of your sweat after a hard day of training. I sounded like a harassing jerk, I know, but my love had been so full my heart could not contain it anymore; so it flowed out and covered the whole of my body, my very body being, that I love you. I wanted to share all of the moments with you–oh, how happy and fulfilled it will be, to talk and share with you, and I will call you “bò sữa BV đáng iu nhất thế giới”, for you’re not only handsome but look like a sweet teddy bear. It would be very cozy to be shielded in your arms, feeling your rigid chest in the icy, stormy winter. Recently, I have been accepted to work part-time at a coffee shop. I am trained to bake, and I have never done such things before. I was born with a clumsy hand and a slow brain. So I made an ugly-shaped donut, and I broke a bánh mì into bits when I cut it. And of course, I was yelled at by Mrs. Boss. How would she and Mr. Boss talk about me tonight when they’re at home? I don’t know. Would they laugh at me? Would they be so angry that they plan to fire me the next morning? I don’t know. But my heart’s so bitter. I do not deserve you. I am nothing. You’re the essence of our humankind. No, I do not deserve you at all. But my mind doesn't listen, my heart doesn't listen. Oh, my dear, please tell me, what should I do with you? I am mourning over my broken pieces of heart.

I wanted to thank you for being so brave and for still being here. I know it wasn’t easy, but you fought with everything you had. Thank you for being vulnerable with me—it means you trust me. I’m so proud of you. You know it, and I’ll never get tired of reminding you. When times get rough, you know I’m here. I’m more than happy that you run to me whenever you need me. I can be your No. 1 fan, classmate, and friend. The first time I saw you, you were so bubbly and full of talent. I saw all your efforts and how much heart you put into the things you love. You make others laugh with the simplest things, and that makes it so much easier for us to get through the day. I like you, Gideon. I’m sure you already know it—I just wanted to make it clear. Sometimes I’m afraid to show you how much because I don’t want to lose what we have. But there are times I just want to risk it all and ruin the friendship.

May 2026 Looking back at May 2024, how much have changed. You used to be the light, energy everywhere you went, you used to be the energy, such a confident, brave girl, you had so many friends no matter what they did to you, you were unstoppable, the kind of aura you carried was unbelievable. Look at you now, no one around, alone and lonely, always looking for reassurance, insecure, gets hurt easily, low grades. THIS IS NOT YOU! Idk what happened, why... He came when I was that version of myself, he changed me into this, and now even he doesn't care, idk... He have time for everyone else's plans, but not mine? idk how to exactly describe this feeling but i feel unseen. useless, like i lost my friends for you? to be with you, and in your eyes im no one? you weren't like this two years ago, you were a boy obsessed with me... thats the whole reason why i fell for you, i saw someone trying for me for the first time. Idk i messed up somewhere. Am i that unworthy of being loved? what did i do? what happened to me? why am i being the annoying one now? idk.. Hope happiness finds me soon, may i meet a person who values every inch of me, may i be overloaded with love, then i'll not feel like a burden to anyone. May 2027 will be better hopefully...

This is a bit random but oh well 🤍 I really wanted to go to the counter protest last year in October. I saw you as I was walking up to the group, from behind where the group were facing and I just couldn’t do it. It upsets me as it’s something I really care about. I’m not saying it’s your fault. I just wish that things had been left on a better note so there wasn’t fear of animosity or it being uncomfortable. I really regret the way that it ended between us. I wish that I had been able to process what was happening to realise that the last time we saw each other and sat talking, was actually the last time. I would have hugged you for longer and wished you well, we could have said we’d delete each others contact details and gone on from there. It really would have saved a whole world of pain. I wish that I hadn’t text you afterwards to say it was lovely to see you, that cold ‘yeah’ response was so hurtful and uncalled for. I always feel as though I’m trying to catch up with what’s actually happening around me, as if other people just know these things and I slowly piece it together months or sometimes even years later…I know for sure that I am as there’s been such a rise in awareness for neurodiversity in AFAB people over the past year or so…and I got to thinking that maybe we are both ND and that’s why we always understood each other so well. I always loved the way you see the world and how you think. Anyway, that’s waffling from the point… I wish that I could just turn off my survival response. I didn’t want to join the counter protest and end up embarrassing myself with a panic attack…like HELLO there are more serious issues going on here 😂😂… I guess it just makes me feel sad. I’m so sorry for my behaviour after we ended, the whole thing was a shitshow tbh and I kind of lost my mind for a while. I’ve forgiven myself at last but I still wish that I’d just said and done nothing. I wish we’d just hugged and said goodbye that day in August. I wish I didn’t remember that date. The 1st August 2022. If E was still living here, I know me and her would be out with a ladder cutting all the flags down. In a different world where things were ok, I believe the three of us would 😂 it’s such a silly thought, I know. But I’ve been so angry seeing the flags everywhere…the people that put them up are not good people. I know I could own them verbally, they’re so ignorant…but I really didn’t fancy making a target of myself cutting the flags down alone, you know how people can be here. Anyway…you’ll never see this. I know that. I’m just expressing myself. I hope that one day it won’t be awkward or uncomfortable. Or that maybe I’ll just do the thing anyway…I really wanted to shout at some union flag brandishing gammons tbh 😂😂 I just sat on a bench the other side and watched the whole thing…it was bizarre. But actually really interesting…people are so…you know. I really hope that you are happy and doing very well, thank you for all the lovely memories and again I’m so sorry for how I behaved after we ended, I was very wrong and I know that. Sending love from a distance, always. M 🐌 xxx

Something about you keeps me around, even though I've wanted to throw everything we have away on many occasions. My love for you these days is what I can say, the only thread keeping me striving for life, and now that I'm having a hard time living. I'm distant right now, yes, but you're all I think about. Probably the essence of my living. My love for you is love beyond what my body could comprehend, and yes, we are close friends, but I'm willing to risk it all for you, whether we end up married, old and grey, or we remain each other's biggest cheerleaders separately. I want to see the best happen to you until six feet under. I wish so desperately to talk again, but I fear that I might bring up everything's that's gone wrong since we last spoke. Just know, however you'll always be my favourite, regardless of where life places us. Lots of love, The weary artist.

I don’t know what to write in here. But let’s keep this letter as a confession of unspoken words from me for something between us. I don’t even know if it really happened or it just me being delusional and overreacting of everything between us and actually there’s no answer for those because we couldn’t even speak about it. From now on i knew that you will always choose men so yeah id rather moving backwards and giving distance from you. I have my own feelings and I can’t always be the one who gives so much to you while you’re keep staying in between the grey lines. So it’s okay this time I'm choosing myself because i know and believe that i deserve better for someone who will not make us keep hiding and doubting ourselves. Thank you for everything as you're being a good friend to me through this time and sorry for having this feeling for you even though i know you just saw me as friends nah I don’t want to think or give so much details whatever friendship things happened between us but yeah let’s keep friend as usual as before while i also distancing myself slowly from you :)

By the time you receive this, graduate ka na. You’ve finally reached the finish line, and I couldn’t be more proud of you. I’m writing this anonymously kasi I finally have the courage to say the things I had to hide for so long. I call you **"Mr. Toothless"** because, just like that dragon, you have this charm that’s so hard to resist. But more than that, it was my way of making you "mine" in my own little world, even if we were worlds apart in reality. I’m dedicating the song **"Ngiti" by The Juans** to you. Sobrang sakit ng lyrics, 'di ba? *"Sa isang ngiti mo lang, lahat ay nagbabago..."* but for me, your smile was both my favorite view and my biggest heartbreak. **I’m sorry.** Sorry kung may times na bigla akong iiwas o hindi ka papansinin. I had to do that. I didn't want my feelings to grow deeper, but more importantly, **ayaw kong maging distraction sa tungkulin mo.** I didn't want to be the reason you'd lose focus on your goals. So, I chose to stay in the shadows. Instead of chasing you, **idinaan ko na lang ang lahat sa panata.** Gabi-gabi, laman ka ng dasal ko. Pero hindi kita ipinanalangin para maging akin; ipinagpanata kita na sana malayo ka sa tukso, gabayan ka ng Ama, at matapos mo ang pag-aaral mo para maging isang ganap na manggagawa. Ganoon kita kagusto—na mas mahalaga sa akin ang gampanin mo kaysa sa nararamdaman ko. Okay na ako na tinititigan ka lang sa malayo. Every time your back was turned, doon lang ako nagkakaroon ng lakas ng loob na mag-focus sa’yo. Ayaw ko kasing malaman mo na gusto kita... and honestly, natatakot ako na baka gusto mo rin ako. Kasi kung pareho tayo, baka hindi natin unahin ang dapat unahin. Kaya "huwag na lang muna." Minsan naiinis ako sa mga jokes mo, especially nung nag-dalaw tayo, pero isang ngiti mo lang, nawawala lahat ng inis ko. Seeing you happy was enough to keep me going. I treated myself na parang "takot" sa'yo, tumatakbo ako para magtago tuwing nakikita kita, just to keep the distance. I’m grateful for the inspiration you gave me, even if it was from a distance. You were my silent motivation. Now that you've graduated, you're free to fly high. **Sana kung pwede na... pwede pa.** But if not, thank you for the smile that saved me, even when you didn't know I was watching. **Congratulations, Mr. Toothless.**

honestly .. I know you’re not happy. I know that you’ve trapped yourself… with someone you’re not attracted to, someone who is not affectionate, who doesn’t like or value reassurance like you do .. Their hobbies bore you… There’s no spark or connection… You’re just going with the motions. You’ll say yes to the pet when you don’t even like that animal. You changed your food preferences and diet, just for them. Their big, chubby body repulses you…but, you chose this, didn’t you? Trapped. They came after me, because you couldn’t have me… Gosh…I’d say I hope it’s worth it in a performative effort to move on but damn…we both know it isn’t. hmm… Take care💋

I don't know how to write this, my love. Words are concise, but they do not convey the ache of my heart for you. I can write pretty phrases, heart emojis and whatnot, but will they really tell you the sound of my heartbeat when I hear your name, will they justify the blush on my cheeks and the smile upon my lips, my bright eyes and my heart in bliss when you finally said "I love you"? No, they will not. Enough beating around the bush. I love you. Not "I loved you" or shit like that. "I love you." No amount of "moving on" will change the fact that my heart has only belonged to one boy and it always will, and that boy has always been you. I don't think it will ever be anyone else. You own the key to my heart. How sad that you threw it away. I set your nickname as "Babyy (づ￣ 3￣)づ💗✨🎀". Did it arise feelings in your chest? Did they make your heart flutter the way mine did? You set my name as "Darlingg 🎀💗" Ohh, how cruel you are. How you have taken my heart out of my ribcage and instead of taking care of it like I hoped you would, you have played with it like an object and ditched it into the river called heartbreak. And it has sailed there ever since, and it will continue to sail there until you pick it up, which I know you have no intention of doing. You could have stabbed me in the chest with a blade laced with poison, and it would have hurt several times less, baby. Ohh what have I not done? Made playlists for you, sung songs, wrote love letters, I am such a fool. Now I listen to those playlists, sing those songs once more, read those letters, but instead of red rising through my cheeks, why do tears stain my cheeks? Nothing should have changed. I should have felt the same pang of love as I did back then, and I do. The only thing that changed is that your nickname has gone from "Babyy (づ￣ 3￣)づ💗🎀✨" to "Instagram User" and that when you hear my name, you walk away quickly. I want to drown in you. Your fluffy cloudlike hair, your cute glasses framing eyes so lovely a thousand poets would be put to shame failing to describe such beauty. Because like I said, words are always insufficient when you are the topic. Most people wish they forgot their "ex". Wish they "never met their ex". But the thing is, I don't. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me. I will never forget you. I would write several paragraphs more, but the thing is, I cry very easily. Even right now, I'm crying. I don't want you to love me back, because that would be wanting the impossible. I only want you. And I know I will have you in my heart until the end of time, until I cease to live. Until then, Yours truly, A <3

My Dearest Lyra, my wondrous muse in sky, Can I be honest with you for a bit? I've been keeping this to myself for quite some time now. Dili man ni something super serious or dramatic, but it's something real something I've been quietly feeling every time we talk, every time I see you smile, and every time I remember small things about you. At first, I really thought it was just a simple but big love for you and ringo, kanang uy mobalik kapa ron. Pero as time passed, I realized nga it's more than that. Every time mag-chat ta, it feels light. Every time nga makatawa ka, I find myself smiling too even if wala ka sa akong atubangan. I started to look forward to your messages, to your replies, even to the most random things you say. Wala man ko nag-expect nga mo-like ka ug mo-gugma ka utro balik. Honestly, I'm fine if you don't. What matters to me is that I finally said it. Because for the longest time, I tried to act normal to pretend nga okay ra, nga wala koy gibati. Pero tinuod, naa gyud. Kanang feeling nga gusto lang nimo siya mahibaw-an, bisan dili mo mag-end up together. There were days nga l told myself to stop. Nga ayaw na, kay basin ma-fall ra ko ug ako ra'y masakitan. Pero every time nga muabot ka, every time nga makita nako imong name pop up sa screen, murag makalimot ko sa tanan reason nga gusto ko maglayo. You make things feel calm and happy at the same time. And maybe that's why I decided to write this. Not to make things awkward, not to force anything but just to be honest. Because you deserve to know. You deserve to know that someone out here genuinely admires you, pray and loves you from far. the way you talk, the way you laugh, the way you make others feel comfortable. You're one of those rare people nga bisan gamay lang imong effort, dako kaayo og effect. You have this simple charm that makes people want to stay. And I guess that's what happened to me, l stayed, quietly, admiring you from a distance, but always hoping you're doing fine and happy. I'm not expecting a reply, nor am l asking for anything. l just want to finally breathe. To let these words out nga dugay na kaayo nakatago sa akong heart. Kay bisan unsaon, lisod magpaka-okay kung naa kay gi-feel nga dili nimo masulti. So yeah, I love you and maybe I miss you so much didiw ko, you're more than I planned to. But it's okay. What's important is, you made me feel something real and for that, I'll always be grateful. DIDIWON KO KAM SOBRA. 🍎⭐🐙 unsaon ko man ug ruyag ko molingi ka diri sakon again, i planned this long time ago na ngano man motabo saton. ikaw gud ra karuyagon pakaslan. Love, Didiw asta🐙

I miss you so much Ren. you are on my mind constantly, I dream about you every night and I see your face in everyone I come across. you have the prettiest hazel brown eyes, I want to stare into them until I forget how to breathe, until I lose track of time and don't realize there is a world around me. I want to be able to feel your lips against mine just once, I want to forget everything but you. everything we had together and everything that came after has impacted me mentally a lot more than I think I fully realized. I find myself replaying things over and over in my head and getting stuck in thoughts I don’t know how to turn off. I often catch myself wishing I had been better, or different, or more like willow. It’s hard not to compare myself to her, especially when you once told me you could fall in love with someone who is just like you, and now that’s what you have. It messes with my head more than I want to admit. prepare, consume, proceed.

I really really want you to love me I dream about your lips on mine I crave you please I just need to smell your skin on mine and feel the warmth of your touch on me

dear amelia im so fucking sorry, i genuinly feel so bad that you dont know. you have every reason to hate me and you dont even know me. im sorry he didnt tell you he had a thing with me or still does but i dont understand how he can love two women at the same time its fucked up, i wish i could tell you babes but i just cant bring myself to do it. , maybe one day i will but thats for future me to decide honestly. you will never read this and ill probably forget i wrote this in a few days but im so so so sorry. ps. if you find out i will probably sob, not because i didnt want you to find out. but because i dont want to hurt you. its crazy how i dont even know you but ive tried to give you signs, i followed you on tiktok and like all your stories hoping you will wonder why me and your boyfriend are mutual friends and why i like all your stories, fuck that you will probably wonder why tf i followed you in the first place honestly. ive tried and for the last time im so so fucking sorry beautiful x