I am a 16 F, and I've always loved romance stories. The romance stories I have read were strictly hetero. I've grown to view love as something nice to have. But it was always limited to hetero, as that was what I was taught. I saw a few people who didn't fit the "normal" for the mass, and I wondered why they would feel that way? "Wouldn't it be weird?" I wasn't a homophobe or anything, family taught me to accept anyone because all people deserved to be respected and loved, even if they weren't the same as you. But I still wondered why, my first exposure to media like those, was when I was in my first year of high school, and I found LITC while scrolling on a recommendation list. I loved it. I adored it. It held a special place in my heart, kind of like the first book I bought. And that gave me understanding to why people chose to love a certain person, no matter who they were. I was captivated by the story, it was beautiful, tragic, calming, heartwarming, and realistic. In some part of my life, I became a yearner, I wanted to feel what the other teens were feeling. But I just couldn't, I tried to do things that kids in-love were doing, having crushes, writing about them, painting pictures. And in the midst of me exploring the world, I got caught in not so good representations of so called "love". I was lucky to still have guidance through friends, family, and kind peers who told me those weren't love. That was 4 years ago, and it's funny to think about the childish me yearning for something I'm not ready for lol. And the result of all my wandering was that I was Aroace, which explained why I wasn't so keen on keeping or making romantic relations. I put that thought off for for a few months because I couldn't accept that I was "weird" or "different" even though I accept people like that. And only a few months ago I finally had the acceptance that I wasn't weird or anything out of the ordinary, I was simply a person who had my preferences. And if people wanted to comment on it, I don't have to debate, since they haven't been in my shoes. Fast forward to now, I'm having a little confusion, because I have known myself as completely straight, in terms of preference I've always picked men, because it was the usual for me, and I was attracted to them. But now... I can look at women and can think about the same things I've thought about with men. Back then I couldn't view myself liking women (do I actually like women???) and whenever I do I'm just uninterested and go back to men. Now I'm suddenly having thoughts about ladies and me with the word "romance" although I'm still not interested in romance unlike the average person, I love dreaming about scenarios where I have someone (A coping mechanism in tandem with my love for music) and I get the same fuzzy feelings I feel if I were to think abt men. And this has me confused, and also scared. Because this isn't my normal, and I have presented myself as someone hetero (although mistaken as lesbian) all the people who know me, know me as this straight girl. And it would make them view me differently if I suddenly said "I'm attracted to women too" and I've tried to deny it, but now it won't leave my mind, although what I feel is just attraction to the same sex, it feels like I'm committing a crime. To the friends I knew, to family. I have been told in my lifetime that don't be like them, just support them. And now it has me scared that if they found out, I won't be loved the same anymore. I know my friend's would accept me for sure, but I don't know about family. Sure my label is bisexual, but it still feels scary. I said so many things didn't I l? Lol don't worry my letter is ending. My main takeaway from this vent/rant, is that I found out that I wouldn't mind eventually dating/loving (if ever I find someone who gets through me) a person whether they are the same or opposite sex with me. Because being/feeling loved is enough for me. Whether it is a man or a woman, they can provide me with the same level of love, care, passion, loyalty and etc. because I wanna be loved by a person. Wether they are forever friends, or lovers. And even if I hide it now, my heart knows that I'll be okay as long as I'm happy and healthy with someone whom I love, and loves me. Maybe I'll come back here one day to tell you guys what happened to me regarding this topic, but for now I'm content and feeling safe with keeping it in me. So, why can people love anything but not 'anyone'? That's my question to people who oppose some types of love. -Love, L (who someday might become openly gay, or maybe not ♥)