I miss the past. Those times we laughed for hours, talking until midnight. It’s stupid of me, but I want it back. We were never a thing. Never had some fantastical love story, and I’m not even sure you were into me. But you were my light. You listened to my dumb stories, what I ate for lunch, the people who pissed me off that day. I loved that, that time where I could talk to you forever, and you would tell me what was wrong. It shouldn’t have changed. I can’t love you that way anymore. And you can’t know. I was never a choice, was I? I was the one you would talk to about girls and I would hype you up, because I loved seeing you happy. Your smile made my day. I don’t see you smile a lot anymore. At least, not really. I know the difference. I know when you didn’t sleep well, or you had a rough day with your family. I know when those girls got to you and when something good happened. I knew more than you told me, and I never let you catch on. I know what your favorite candy is, your siblings middle names and your closest friends. I know your favorite movie characters and your hobbies. And yet it doesn’t matter. My best friend. My love. It feels so strange to say that. I never intended it to go this way. But it did. And yet you’re not mine. And you don’t need to be. I know that. It still hurts.