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Dear Fayez, I think one of the biggest regrets I carry is leaving without saying goodbye. And sometimes I wonder if you hated me for that. Or maybe you waited for me to come back while I kept pretending I was okay walking away from someone I loved so deeply. The truth is, I was not okay at all. There were so many things I wanted to say, but I was afraid of my own feelings. Afraid that if I spoke to you one more time, I would stay. So I disappeared instead, and I know that must have hurt you. You were never just a phase to me. You were my first love, the person who knew my heart from miles away. Even now, after all these years, a part of me still feels guilty for ending our story. I told myself to move on. I tried. I remember you told me that I should find someone better than you and is worth my time. I really did. I found someone who treats me good, someone who stays, someone who tries. But a part of me is still looking for you in everything he does. And I feel so guilty for that because I don't have a choice. It's like choosing reality or I'll keep fantasizing that we will meet one day.. that your family will like me.. that we will have our dream family. He is good to me… but sometimes I still wish it was you. I wish it was you loving me. I wish it was you choosing me everyday.. staying with me. I wish you fought for me the way I always hoped you would. And you knew that. I'm sorry.. I'm really sorry but I think we're better off this way. I wanted you to fight for me, Fayez. I wanted to feel like losing me would matter enough for you to hold on tighter. I got tired of carrying the relationship alone while pretending I was still happy. Leaving you was not easy for me. It felt like tearing my own heart apart and forcing myself to live without it. But staying was hurting me too. And I did not know which pain was worse anymore. I need you here with me because I only love you and it hurts seeing someone new who is not you.. but It doesn't matter now right? You'll move on right? I know you'll find a great woman whom your family will love. If I could go back, I would thank you for everything.. for every moment you made me feel loved. I would tell you that leaving you was one of the hardest things I ever did. And God knows I don't want to do that. I want you to know that I never stopped thinking of you. I never stopped caring. Maybe in another life, we met at the right time. Maybe in another world, we were less broken, we were less complicated. Maybe there, we finally got the ending we used to dream about. But in this life, all I can do is carry the memory of you with me. Not as something I regret loving, but as someone who once became my whole world. I hope this letter will reach you, and I hope that someday when you read it, you will have already become the person you always wanted to be. Fayez, I want to say this for one last time. I love you, infinity. — Angela

It's hard feeling like that. I know it is. But you are incredible. Because if you look up to the sky, I can guarantee you'll never find a star that shines as bright as you.

i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you please come back i will do anything for you i will worship you i will treat you like a fucking god come back my love please please please come back i beg you i will never find anyone like you i will never see anyone the same way as you i'd do anything please come back please please please you're my first thought in the morning and the last thought as i go to bed you're everything to me and it hurts it hurts nothing feels good without you i want you so bad anything for you

Goodbye… I know I had promised to never contact you again, trust me, I tried my best but my heart couldn’t leave without saying goodbye As I’m writing this, my eyes are full of tears, I’m still hurt and full of pain. The decision I took of cutting you off my life wasn’t because i didn’t love you anymore, but it’s because I loved you so much that I wanted you to be happy. I knew that I wasn’t where your happiness lied, so I wanted to give you a chance to do whatever it is that you wanted, without me interrupting all the time. I also needed to choose myself because I finally realised that you were you were never gonna choose me and that’s okay because people are allowed to love whoever they want to love. I know you never apologised but I want you to know that forgive you for all the pain that you’ve caused me, I feel like I have to let everything go before I go.. I didn’t want to carry this onto my new chapter, By the time you read this, I will probably be on a flight going back home or I have probably arrived, I just wanted to make sure that I send this before I leave the grounds of the city because I knew I wouldn’t have the heart to see you again, it would’ve probably hurt me more. Anyways, it’s alright, I guess the last thing I want to say is that I always wonder what happened, maybe one day you will explain it to me, and maybe on that day I’ll fully understand… until then I hope you live your best life and really do all the things you said you would.. As for me? I’ll be in my hometown pursuing my dreams, if you ever find yourself that side one day, give me a call… But for now, goodbye Lots of love, MM

Bro, you are my bestfriend since 7th grade. I always wondered how can i talk to someone as beautiful as you. Now, you are one of the most trusted persons in my life. Recently I am feeling differently about you. I am attracted to you.I dont want a relationship because of my faith but i just want to let you know.Please remain the person you were to me after this..

what can i do, what can i say everything is over now... yet i'm still the same person who fell for you at the beginning. late night, i find myself crying over you i reread our texts and think about the future we once planned together every song seems to remind me of you, somehow...everything is about you i didn't realize my feelings were this deep until now, but there's nothing i can do anymore you were my first in everything.. the first person who truly gave me the feeling of being loved the first person who always listened to me, cared, and stayed beside me. i know i hurt you so badly, i was still immature back then, just child who didn't fully understand things yet....but one thing i never lied about was my love for you, i loved you purely, sincerely, and without any hesitation. a longgg time ago, i used to dream about us..about the future we could build together.. i wanted us to grow better and better, to become succesful together fi dunya wal akhirat. but now i'm afraid i don't think i'm worthy of saying those things anymore and i don't want to hurt you anymore..

To the man whom I love though I don’t know your name or your face or your identity, I am such a fool to love you like this. Yes, you didn’t read it wrong, I love you, not “like” or “crush”. At first it was not you, it was Slay. Then there were more TikTok clips about you and I heard your name from your few but loyal fans. And I became one. I thought and watched about you day and night, day and night. My heart started beating so fast when I saw your little kicks as you read the love letter of a Laotian soldier to a girl from our beloved country, the way you walked, and when you called Môi Xinh to move back. It was such a cute voice; you sounded very young, younger than the age that was supposed to be for a Junior Lieutenant. I should remind you one more time: that I love you. Now I'm seeing pictures of you smiling on my laptop screen. So many times I poked and touched your puffy cheeks through the screen, through your mask. Every night I watched your clips before going to bed–it was a form of meditation. When your body moved close to the screen, in my mind there were rolls after rolls of scenes of me hugging you, being embraced in your arms, and smelling the scent of your sweat after a hard day of training. I sounded like a harassing jerk, I know, but my love had been so full my heart could not contain it anymore; so it flowed out and covered the whole of my body, my very body being, that I love you. I wanted to share all of the moments with you–oh, how happy and fulfilled it will be, to talk and share with you, and I will call you “bò sữa BV đáng iu nhất thế giới”, for you’re not only handsome but look like a sweet teddy bear. It would be very cozy to be shielded in your arms, feeling your rigid chest in the icy, stormy winter. Recently, I have been accepted to work part-time at a coffee shop. I am trained to bake, and I have never done such things before. I was born with a clumsy hand and a slow brain. So I made an ugly-shaped donut, and I broke a bánh mì into bits when I cut it. And of course, I was yelled at by Mrs. Boss. How would she and Mr. Boss talk about me tonight when they’re at home? I don’t know. Would they laugh at me? Would they be so angry that they plan to fire me the next morning? I don’t know. But my heart’s so bitter. I do not deserve you. I am nothing. You’re the essence of our humankind. No, I do not deserve you at all. But my mind doesn't listen, my heart doesn't listen. Oh, my dear, please tell me, what should I do with you? I am mourning over my broken pieces of heart.

you probably won't see this letter for a while... maybe days? weeks? months? maybe even years from when this is being made. i know that we are having a rough patch right now, and i'm hoping that we'll be okay and stronger than ever after this. i love you so much and i can't bear to lose you. i want to keep giving you my all, i want to be someone who you'll be proud of and not disappointed at, like always.. i want to love you even if i don't know how to do that to myself. i know that this'll sound selfish or it might even look like an excuse.. but, it hurts and i'm tired of everything that's happening or that has happened this year. i lost my spark, i'm always tired, i space out, i know that sounds stupid but, that's the truth. i'm depressed and i know it, but i can't ask for help.. maybe this is my "cry for help". i'm sorry if whatever is happening to me is affecting our relationship, i want to be of help to you, i want to open up to you, i want to tell you all these things, but.. i just can't. i'm sorry.

May 2026 Looking back at May 2024, how much have changed. You used to be the light, energy everywhere you went, you used to be the energy, such a confident, brave girl, you had so many friends no matter what they did to you, you were unstoppable, the kind of aura you carried was unbelievable. Look at you now, no one around, alone and lonely, always looking for reassurance, insecure, gets hurt easily, low grades. THIS IS NOT YOU! Idk what happened, why... He came when I was that version of myself, he changed me into this, and now even he doesn't care, idk... He have time for everyone else's plans, but not mine? idk how to exactly describe this feeling but i feel unseen. useless, like i lost my friends for you? to be with you, and in your eyes im no one? you weren't like this two years ago, you were a boy obsessed with me... thats the whole reason why i fell for you, i saw someone trying for me for the first time. Idk i messed up somewhere. Am i that unworthy of being loved? what did i do? what happened to me? why am i being the annoying one now? idk.. Hope happiness finds me soon, may i meet a person who values every inch of me, may i be overloaded with love, then i'll not feel like a burden to anyone. May 2027 will be better hopefully...

This is a bit random but oh well 🤍 I really wanted to go to the counter protest last year in October. I saw you as I was walking up to the group, from behind where the group were facing and I just couldn’t do it. It upsets me as it’s something I really care about. I’m not saying it’s your fault. I just wish that things had been left on a better note so there wasn’t fear of animosity or it being uncomfortable. I really regret the way that it ended between us. I wish that I had been able to process what was happening to realise that the last time we saw each other and sat talking, was actually the last time. I would have hugged you for longer and wished you well, we could have said we’d delete each others contact details and gone on from there. It really would have saved a whole world of pain. I wish that I hadn’t text you afterwards to say it was lovely to see you, that cold ‘yeah’ response was so hurtful and uncalled for. I always feel as though I’m trying to catch up with what’s actually happening around me, as if other people just know these things and I slowly piece it together months or sometimes even years later…I know for sure that I am as there’s been such a rise in awareness for neurodiversity in AFAB people over the past year or so…and I got to thinking that maybe we are both ND and that’s why we always understood each other so well. I always loved the way you see the world and how you think. Anyway, that’s waffling from the point… I wish that I could just turn off my survival response. I didn’t want to join the counter protest and end up embarrassing myself with a panic attack…like HELLO there are more serious issues going on here 😂😂… I guess it just makes me feel sad. I’m so sorry for my behaviour after we ended, the whole thing was a shitshow tbh and I kind of lost my mind for a while. I’ve forgiven myself at last but I still wish that I’d just said and done nothing. I wish we’d just hugged and said goodbye that day in August. I wish I didn’t remember that date. The 1st August 2022. If E was still living here, I know me and her would be out with a ladder cutting all the flags down. In a different world where things were ok, I believe the three of us would 😂 it’s such a silly thought, I know. But I’ve been so angry seeing the flags everywhere…the people that put them up are not good people. I know I could own them verbally, they’re so ignorant…but I really didn’t fancy making a target of myself cutting the flags down alone, you know how people can be here. Anyway…you’ll never see this. I know that. I’m just expressing myself. I hope that one day it won’t be awkward or uncomfortable. Or that maybe I’ll just do the thing anyway…I really wanted to shout at some union flag brandishing gammons tbh 😂😂 I just sat on a bench the other side and watched the whole thing…it was bizarre. But actually really interesting…people are so…you know. I really hope that you are happy and doing very well, thank you for all the lovely memories and again I’m so sorry for how I behaved after we ended, I was very wrong and I know that. Sending love from a distance, always. M 🐌 xxx

Something about you keeps me around, even though I've wanted to throw everything we have away on many occasions. My love for you these days is what I can say, the only thread keeping me striving for life, and now that I'm having a hard time living. I'm distant right now, yes, but you're all I think about. Probably the essence of my living. My love for you is love beyond what my body could comprehend, and yes, we are close friends, but I'm willing to risk it all for you, whether we end up married, old and grey, or we remain each other's biggest cheerleaders separately. I want to see the best happen to you until six feet under. I wish so desperately to talk again, but I fear that I might bring up everything's that's gone wrong since we last spoke. Just know, however you'll always be my favourite, regardless of where life places us. Lots of love, The weary artist.

Te amo mi amor con toda el alma. You’re the best thing that ever happened to me, I love you so much and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I love you so so much my princess

I don't know how to write this, my love. Words are concise, but they do not convey the ache of my heart for you. I can write pretty phrases, heart emojis and whatnot, but will they really tell you the sound of my heartbeat when I hear your name, will they justify the blush on my cheeks and the smile upon my lips, my bright eyes and my heart in bliss when you finally said "I love you"? No, they will not. Enough beating around the bush. I love you. Not "I loved you" or shit like that. "I love you." No amount of "moving on" will change the fact that my heart has only belonged to one boy and it always will, and that boy has always been you. I don't think it will ever be anyone else. You own the key to my heart. How sad that you threw it away. I set your nickname as "Babyy (づ￣ 3￣)づ💗✨🎀". Did it arise feelings in your chest? Did they make your heart flutter the way mine did? You set my name as "Darlingg 🎀💗" Ohh, how cruel you are. How you have taken my heart out of my ribcage and instead of taking care of it like I hoped you would, you have played with it like an object and ditched it into the river called heartbreak. And it has sailed there ever since, and it will continue to sail there until you pick it up, which I know you have no intention of doing. You could have stabbed me in the chest with a blade laced with poison, and it would have hurt several times less, baby. Ohh what have I not done? Made playlists for you, sung songs, wrote love letters, I am such a fool. Now I listen to those playlists, sing those songs once more, read those letters, but instead of red rising through my cheeks, why do tears stain my cheeks? Nothing should have changed. I should have felt the same pang of love as I did back then, and I do. The only thing that changed is that your nickname has gone from "Babyy (づ￣ 3￣)づ💗🎀✨" to "Instagram User" and that when you hear my name, you walk away quickly. I want to drown in you. Your fluffy cloudlike hair, your cute glasses framing eyes so lovely a thousand poets would be put to shame failing to describe such beauty. Because like I said, words are always insufficient when you are the topic. Most people wish they forgot their "ex". Wish they "never met their ex". But the thing is, I don't. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me. I will never forget you. I would write several paragraphs more, but the thing is, I cry very easily. Even right now, I'm crying. I don't want you to love me back, because that would be wanting the impossible. I only want you. And I know I will have you in my heart until the end of time, until I cease to live. Until then, Yours truly, A <3

Hi. we wont be able to see each other again like ever, but im glad that you had become my friend before things fall apart. I wanna say youre such a mess and red flag but i guess we all have our own flaws and chaos. youre still a dick btw.

i’m sorry i really just need to get this off my chest. i know you’ll probably never see this, but i have to send it nonetheless. i think it all comes down to the fact that i was scared. it wasn’t that i never loved you, i did. i know i did. but i was just scared. i wish that we would’ve said what we said later on. i wish that when we confessed, it would’ve been not then but now. now i’m much more mature, much more comfortable with what i can call myself and what i can be. but even knowing that, i know it would’ve been futile regardless. i was the one who started crushing on you first. you were the first girl i’d ever had a crush on, and it confused me. but you were always so open about yourself that it made me feel a little better, like i wasn’t doing anything wrong because you were doing it too. melody i know that you would’ve given me everything, and the fact is, you have. you’ve given me all of yourself the way that i never could for you. i was scared. i’m still scared now. i can entertain myself with guys as much as i want, but it’s always been you. i can see myself dating you and being happy. it’s such a clear vision in my mind. no boy would’ve remembered the things you remembered about me. no boy would’ve given me the gifts full of time, thought, and effort the way you did. i would’ve been so happy with you. you would’ve made me so happy and i know it. beyond a shadow of a doubt, i know you would’ve made me the happiest girl alive. i imagine myself dating you, getting to kiss you and hug you and go out on dates. but i’m afraid. i was and i still am. i’m just a little more comfortable with myself. but i know that i will never be truly comfortable with myself. because while i can very clearly see myself dating you and doing all these things with you, i can’t imagine the future. it’s so weird to me. i can imagine myself dating any girl and being happy while i have trouble imagining myself having a boyfriend. but when i think on the future, i can hardly see myself marrying and having a family with anyone at all, but when i do, it’s with a man. i don’t know what i’m afraid of, but i’m so, so afraid. everything i did to you was so unfair. i was our downfall. i was the cause of our death. it was all me. you weren’t just an experience, you were everything. you are everything. no one makes me laugh the way you do, no one does the things you do for me, no one is like you. i could talk to you, watch movies with you, share secrets, talk about my feelings, my fears, all with you. it’s nearly impossible for me to be able to have that with anyone else. there was never anybody else. you were always my person, my second half, my twin flame, my soul. i reminisce about you, about us, and think about how lucky i was to have met you. i never said it, but it hurt me too. losing you hurt like nothing had ever hurt before. i know that i never really lost you, but god did it feel like i did. it felt like a part of me was gone forever. my best friend, my girl. and i’m sorry, i’m so sorry because j know it’s my fault. every time you say it’s not i stay quiet because i know it’s not true. had i not led you on the way i did, maybe right now we’d still be calling every day from the moment we woke up or got home from school to the moment i had to leave first. we’d be watching movies together, we’d be talking, laughing, sitting in comfortable silences, still saying i love you. every day since things ended i’ve felt this regret, and it keeps getting stronger. if hurt to leave you but i couldn’t stay. no matter how much i wanted to, i couldn’t. i will never be fully comfortable with who i am. i know i love you, i know that i really do. j know that in the deepest part of heart, i love you and i will always love you. but we can’t be anything. sometimes i wish i could be selfish and date you. i wish i could feel your kisses and hear your voices telling me all the sweet nothings you used to say. i miss you every day. every day without fail i miss you more than the last. i think about you late at night, i think about you when i hear songs, i think about you when there’s nothing to keep me distracted, i think about you while i watch the water boil. i fantasize about you innocently. getting to kiss you, hug you, have you hold me, have us go on dates, smile at each other, sleep in each others arms. i think about that. i get jealous over you, i cry over you, i get nostalgic over you. all to this day. but as much as i wanted to be selfish, i wont. i can’t. all i’ll do is hurt you even more. i’m so afraid and i don’t know what for. my parents would be supportive, i’d have you, i wouldn’t care about anyone else. but i’m still so afraid. i can’t see myself getting married with anyone but a blurry face of a man. i know that on the day j get married, i’ll think of you. when i get a home, i’ll think of you. when i get that pet cat, i’ll think of you. i could be with anyone and somehow, my thoughts will always lead back to you. i miss you as my best friend and my lover. i try not to show it, i try to keep it hidden, but i still check your accounts sometimes, stare at you when your videos come on my feed, look at every single thing you’ve ever given me, still look for our initials, our months, our signs, all of it. i don’t ever want you to go thinking that after everything that happened, that after everything we said, did, and went through, that i’m fine. that this doesn’t matter to me. because it does. it matters to me more than anything. i love you. i love you, i love you, i love you. you would’ve made me so happy. but i refuse to hurt you more than i already have by selfishly asking you for a chance knowing that it will lead no where. maybe if we date, maybe i’ll get over my fears. but what if i don’t? i’ll leave you heartbroken again. i’ve already lost you once, i don’t think i could live with myself if i lost you again. it was never your fault. it was never about what you were or who you were. it was me, solely me. it was my fault because i will never be able to be who i really am. like i said, i’m much more comfortable now than back then, but my fears are still there. and i’m sorry. i’m sorry we never had what we talked about. i’m sorry i couldn’t give you what we dreamed of. i’m sorry that i have to be so unaccepting of myself. if i wasn’t, we’d years into a relationship. i miss you. i love you. i sound like a broken record but it’s true. you may not have known it, but my world revolved around you too. and it still does. i search for you in everyone. i can’t find you again. and it breaks my heart that we can’t be together the way we both want to be. you would never have to be a boy for me to love you. i love you as you are now, a girl just like me. but things might’ve been easier that way, wouldn’t they? nonetheless, i’d never change a single thing about you. i fell in love with the incredible girl that you are and it will always stay that way. i hope that there’s someone out there who isn’t afraid of what they are and that they can give you what my subconscious has only hoped to. time will pass, but my feelings will never change. even if we don’t talk anymore, even if we’re not as close as we were before, even if i’m not your best friend anymore, i’ll always be here. you’ll always be my best friend no matter what. quite literally the girl of my dreams. i hate that this is the way things have to be. you loved so openly and all i could ever do was keep you at an arms length. you are both my biggest blessing and my biggest regret. my biggest blessing because without you, i don’t know who i would’ve been. you will always be my everything no matter how much time passes. but you are also my biggest regret, because i fell for something that i couldn’t have and i hurt you. i know i hurt you. i hurt you so much. i’m sorry. i know that you’d forgive me, i know that i am forgiven, but take my sorries anyway because you deserve them. i didn’t realize the good i had until i had to let you go. i always appreciated you and everything you did. i’m sorry that i’m this way. there are so many parallels between us and my heart aches. it aches knowing that i truly do love you, and that all my feelings are real and i felt you, i did, but i could never act on it because of my cowardice. i feel like it will never be over. i’ll never stop feeling this way and regretting why i could never be braver. i wish i could say “i do”. i want to reach out, but the thought of that scares me motionless. i want to ask you to never leave me, but that’s disgustingly selfish of me. maybe in a different world, in a different life, we could be together without the weight of anything holding us back. a life where i could be free and love you the way i want to and the way you deserve. i know this isn’t the most comforting closure i could’ve given you, and i know it’ll hurt, but it has to be said, and if i never do, how could i ever expect you to know? sweet girl, i love you. i just can’t keep living like this, with this guilt. tragic, isn’t it? the mystery of love. —K.

Why won't you reply? (I can see that you were online 28 minutes ago.) I know we're back to our old lives now and those 5 perfect days are over, but I thought we were close. Playing card games late into the hours of early morning? Sleeping over at their hotel room together and ordering McDonald's (Macca's in honor of Aussie) at 4am? Telling me to climb up into your bed on the high-speed train at 5 in the morning? All of that was barely over a week ago. I suppose it didn't matter to you nearly as much. I suppose you don't miss that trip nearly as much. But I thought you wouldn't completely forget the way we talked like we'd known each other for years. I won't hold it against you. And don't worry, I won't reach out again. Miss you, love you, thank you! This might be a real goodbye now!

To the person who been through all my storms. From being a complete stranger to being my HOME and my GO TO PERSON. you are my SAFE PLACE. thank you for staying for understanding me in ways I never even had to explain You mean more to me than words could ever hold.......In a world that feels heavy sometimes you became the place I breathe easy.....I find myself deeply missing us............. the way we felt the way we held onto each other like nothing else mattered...I miss the way you used to feel like peace like safety like everything I needed without asking. I don’t miss you…I miss us...YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH U MEAN TO ME . YOU MEAN SO MUCH MORE THAN WORDS WOUL EVER EXPLAIN You once promised me little things that meant the world to me like making me parota...teaching me how to drive a car....clicking pictures when I finally get my dream bike…And I promised you things too.... a ride when I get my car... a Lego set...standing by you... supporting you through everything.... They were just small words…but they felt like a whole future to me. Now I sit here wondering.. are they just words to you? Or did they mean something once? Because I’m still here…still holding onto every little things we said to each other...I MISS YOUUU SOOO DAMN MUCH...CAN WE FIND OUR WAY BACK?...........🫶🏼🧿SARAH🫶🏻🩷🎀MJ

you starve and you don't talk. you drink and you don't talk. you smoke and you don't talk. you never say anything at all

though my soul may set in darkness, it will rise in perfect light; i have loved the stars too truly to be fearful of the night.

It's been 10 days since we completely cut off contact, but it's already been 7 months since we separated. Instead of lessening, the pain only grows, and I feel such a void, such great anguish that I don't know how to put it into words. I miss you all the time; the pain of longing is so intense that I can even see you during the day, with my eyes open. I wonder how you are, if you're well and happy, if you're smiling with someone or doing what you love most, which is singing. I think I've never taken so long to write a letter because with each word written, the urge to cry hits me so hard, but not enough to make this pain go away. I will always be here, waiting for your return.