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Wow, I wrote a lot of messages here today, I just found out about it. I hope you see this one day, my love.
I never thought I would send something like this to you again , especially after what you said to me at the end of 2024. After that day I just isolated myself for some time I'll take about it at end But here I am. Let's look one after one . "Nee frnds yadavalu ani nenu ante naatho orgue chesav naatho matladadam maanesav " Did I Stop talking to you for that reason? Funny Evaro L ante nen accept chesa , chats enjoy chesa , question cheledhu ? I have to mention this..! Valu chats lo natho eppudu aa word use cheyyaledhu. More over, they used code names in front of me. If you don’t want to believe, ask your friends. Ni name ae use cheyyanappudu, how can I even ask them? Appatiki vaditho antha bond kuda ledhu. Only okasari bike lo velinappudu indirect ga cheppa — “Mana intlo kuda ammayilu unnaru ga man… what if someone treats them like this? Will you accept it?” ani. “And you started blaming me.” Blaming you? Apatki nenu em cheppanu ante — “Just jagrathaga ra… it’s better to stop. Inka matladaku. Valu ninu normal ga chudatledhu…” ani. Anthe. Exactly idhe cheppa. I can still remember — water plant daggara nilchuni cheppa. "Nannu vadhilinchukovadaaniki oka pedda story cheppi nannu VP chesav 🙌🏻" Aa story endhuku create chesano… I already explained with those 2 screenshots.(First time explain chesnapudu) In those chats, you were just whispering one thing — to break this bond. You wanted it to end. Appudu naku vere option kanipinchaledhu. If breaking it is what gives you peace… then what else could I do? Naaku nee happiness kanna important inkem ledhu. Yes… I did it. "Nenu correct anadam ley , Nedhi thappu antunna" Yes macha… ippudu nee current version lo chusthe, nadhe thappu. Chala sarlu anukunna — ila cheyakunda undalsindhi ani. Andaru ammayilaki jarigedhi niku avvakudadhu anukunna. Life ni experience tho nerchukovali ani telusu… but na friend life lo bad experience undakudadhu ani protect cheyadaniki try chesi… thappu chesa. "Kavalane vadhilinchukunnav ga ??" Exactly same thing okaroju ninnu nenu adiga macha — “Vadhilinchukodaniki godavapaduthunava?” ani. Appudu nuvvu, “Na friend naku adhi inka nerpinchaledhu ra” annav. Ippudu nenu adugutunna… Did you ever think, ade friend wanted ga idhi chesadu just because he didn’t want to be with you? "Or nee frnds annattu nenu L ani feel ayyi vadhilinchukunnavaa ??" If I really felt for you like this so called “L”… chepthuna ga, ni face kuda chuse vadini kadhu anthe kani… “So and so people tho undaku, they’re not treating you well… stop it” ani cheppe vadini kadhu. I wouldn’t have tried to control you. I would’ve just walked away silently. "I think Creating stories to blame someone is also easy" Did I create a story to blame ? I created it for my favorite persons happiness. To give her what she wished for. If you still feel it was just to vadhilinchukodanike… then you already have your answer. I think yaa i have covered everything 🩷 As I mentioned let's talk about it at end Maybe you’re only looking at your side of the coin the part that feels clear and justified to you. But what about the grey areas? What about the other side… the part you never tried to see? I have Even tried till the end to save this , even i have tried after stating this will be the last time . I have tried till that day in 2024 ( i exactly don't remember that date) after that I felt like... Hoo so to listen this im here? Maybe. Then i stopped there After that, I went through a lot, macha — things you never knew about . Some of them are still nightmares for me. And honestly, I don’t want you to know them either. If I decide to question, there are many things I can bring up. But I stayed silent. Not because I was wrong, because I didn’t want to hurt you more.
I saw that my message last night is still on delivered. I feel like you restricted me. Thinking about that actually hurts, but what can I do? If that’s the only right thing for you to not feel me again, then I should accept it. I know it’s my fault. I was actually lying cy☹️even if I say it’s fine, deep down it makes me sad. I really wanted to talk to you, but I know that will probably never happen. Gosh, I wish I never let my thoughts stop me from showing my affection to you. If only I could break this wall I built between us, maybe I could feel you again. But if I did that, where would my self-respect be? Am I too selfish for choosing to stay silent instead of telling you that I want you here with me? I just can’t explain how much you matter to me. Believe me, I made the right decision to let you go. But the consequences made me realize that letting others love the woman I want didn’t make it easier to unlove you. I really thought it would. But as time goes by, I hate thinking of you with someone else, and those thoughts feel like they’re poisoning my mind. I can’t find the strength to send this message directly to you, so I’m leaving it here instead. I believe in God’s timing— for us to work things out at the right time and with the right decisions. I still believe in us, in everything about us. I’m walking away, but I still believe that maybe, at the right time and in the right place, our eyes will meet again-full of unspoken thoughts. I hope you’ll look at me the same way again.. If this year is still not meant for me to have you, then I’ll choose myself for now. But if our paths never cross again and God doesn’t give me another chance, then I hope I can see you one last time before I learn to love someone else.
i love you
I miss you. i miss you terribly. It’s only been 2 weeks. i just want you to be okay. You had so much going on in your life and i wanted to be there for you so badly. but instead. you pushed me away. I can’t hate you for that. I know i can be overwhelming. but i know you still care. i know neither of us really want this. Or at least i hope. I know i don’t want this. You say it’s because you can’t give me what i need. but you were everything and more to me… you still are. you could never do any wrong in my eyes. I can’t eat, i can’t sleep. i can’t focus on anything. it always comes back to you. I understand i invested too much time into you. i lost myself. in you. I get that. i’m just asking for another chance. the space we built together. the routine. I think the routine broke us. it became predictable. but there is something that soothes in routine. I crave the spontaneity… at times. but i mostly crave your time. your presence. your kind looks. that is what is making this so hard. You welcomed me into your life, your world, your culture. When you left. i didn’t just lose you. i lost my hope. my spark. you took that all with you. you say it’s for the best for both of us. but you are the only one gaining in this. I love you. deeply. I don’t want to beg. i don’t want to chase. i’m not going to. you need time. you need space. i could have given you this. if only you had spoken to me. you don’t have to make these decisions alone. you don’t have to walk through life alone. I was there for you. you were there for me. and now you’re gone. you’ve pruned the branches of my heart until it feels like it can grow no more. I know that when you cut hedges the leaves grow back stronger and full of life. But you didn’t have to cut me out. this is destroying me. mentally and physically. i’m exhausted. and call me selfish call me mean. but i resent you for being fine. i speak to our mutuals. they told me you’re already out with other people. taking your life back from this grip i seemed to have on you. it wasn’t on purpose. if i made you feel smothered. if i made you uncomfortable. it’s the only love i know. i’m takin this time to work on myself. We both need time. and space. i’m just hoping that when you get to that point. you look for the possibility that i can be the one to support you again. Please don’t be a stranger.
i wish you would let me love you. i think we would be great together. maybe in another life
I will always love you my wifey… Bye aliy😊
I honestly didn’t think malli ila oka letter rayalsina time vasthundani 🥲 After that first one, I really believed we’d go back to how we used to be. But… no. Chala chepav. So let’s address one by one. First… “I don’t deserve this” ani matladadam stop chey. Nuvvu a context lo ela antunnavo naku nijanga ardham kaledu. Nuvvu enduku ala feel avtunnavo teliyadu. Kani nenu “I’m serious” ani cheppinappudu — adhi casual ga, flow lo, leda emotion lo cheppaledu. Nuvvu deserve aa kaadha ane vishayam kaadhu issue. Issue enti ante — nuvvu clarity tho lekapovadam. Confusion ni handle cheyyagalanu. Distance ni kuda manage cheyyagalanu. Kani uncertainty matram kastam. “You deserve better” ani chepi velipodam easy option naku . But Clarity ivvadam — adhe real maturity. Next… “Why only me?” ani adigav. “Why only you?” ante… nijanga naku clear answer ledu. - Adhi tharvatha matladukundham. But “Why not others?” — let’s talk about that. Nenu evaritho matladina andharu same avvaru. Yes, naku chala friends unnaru, Close people kuda unnaru. Kani andhartho same type of bond undadhu ga? Right? Connection ante random ga create avvadhu. It doesn’t happen just because we talk daily. It doesn’t happen just because we’re comfortable. Nuvvu different kabatti nenu serious ga unna. Nuvvu important kabatti nenu clarity adugutunna. If you were just “one more person” in that list of friends, nenu ee conversation kuda start cheyyaledu. “You notice small things, I feel happy” annav. Honestly… naku chala happy anipinchindhi. At least nenu ninnu care chesthunna ani nuvvu ardham chesukunnav. “But I’m stuck… choosing my life. Correct decision thiskuntunnana? Leda wrong way velthunnana?” annav. See… Decision correct aa wrong aa ani immediate ga evaru cheppaleru. Not me. Not even top rankers or most successful people. - Time matrame answer istundi. Kani okati matram cheppagalanu — idhi workout ayithe… “Not every man is the same” ani nenu prove cheyalanukunna. Force ga kaadhu. Words tho kaadhu. Consistency tho. But before all that… oka question neeku neevu adugu Nuvvu fear tho decide chesthunava? Leda clarity tho? Yaa i think I have addressed everything ... Maybe niku kavalsina answers dhorikay Anukunta 🥲 And in next one let's talk about my side my point of view 🫶