I hope you're happy now Mylo. I'm sorry for writing this letter to you, I think you've moved on already. But the pain that I'm feeling right now, I don't know how to soothe myself in a way that I don't message you. Tanggap ko na wala na tayo, pero ang sakit parin, and I miss you. I kept lying to myself when I say I don't love you anymore, pero at the same time I won't run back to you anymore. I felt so discarded after our breakup, I'm so noisy dun sa dump ko, lagi kitang pinapatamaan pero ang sakit kasi I don't know how to handle this type of pain. After our breakup you were silent, and I took that as a closure, i tried to block you, but I could only do unfollow hanggang sa binlock mo ko sa Ig kasi along the way I said that I'm always here for you. And it looked like a betrayal to my promise. In my mind, I kept replaying what went wrong and our last conversation. I really wish life was kind enough to let me keep you. Kaya ko sinabi na what comes after this na you were so worried when I repeat it ilang beses sa last call natin, I meant that I've built a future with you in my head and it crumbled nung iniwan mo ako. I still have a lot of love to give to you leon, now I don't even know where to put it. Napalitan lang ng grief and pain. I'll forever miss you in my life siguro a few years from now di na masakit pero maalala parin kita. First love kita eh. Malaki ang impact mo sa perspective ko sa love, now I'm so scared, I'm so scared to start over again. You raised my standards that I don't even know if I'll let someone in again. At the same time I don't want to spend a lifetime yearning for you, It's fucking painful. I want to heal as much as I can so I distanced myself, and you also, kahit na I desperately want to reach out. Kabisado kita, hindi ka sasagot, at the same time kabisado mo ko kasi sasagot ako. I remember pa yung sinabi mo sa letter mo na BDO ka na kahit gano ka pa kabusy you'll make time for me. Naiyak ako ron, kasi totoo nga tinupad mo siya, not until nung last few weeks ng rs natin. Nakakalimutan mo na mag goodmorning or goodnight minsan, hinahayaan mo ako matulog nang may galit sayo kasi di mo ko sinasagot tuwing nagkakaroon tayo ng misunderstanding. Dinala mo past fears mo sa Relationship natin, don't you want to grow with me? Bakit kailangan mo dalhin mga alaala niyo ni KC? Kaya di ko mapigilan magisip kung rebound lang ba ako or panakip butas eh, ilang beses mo siya nabring up kahig nung nakikipaghiwalay ka na sakin. Di mo ko mareassure. I grew anxious sa relationship natin, It started feeling heavy, but I stayed kasi mahal kita kahit na I felt unloved in some moments. I made it clear from the start what I expect of a guy. napakasimple. i wanted someone who would choose me everyday kahit gano pa kahirap. You knew my past pain, inulit mo siya. At some point you're my answered prayer, pero God took you away from me. Baka siguro alam niya na di na tayo makakabuti para sa isat isa. You still have a lot to work on yourself, discover about yourself, and built for yourself. You're in and out relationships so mas mabuti na siguro yon. And for me, ang dami ko rin dapat matutunan, I stayed kahit na malabo na, i begged kahit you were begging me to understand, and to let you go. I thought maabutan pa kita maging registered radtech, akala ko makikilala ko pa family mo personally, i thought we'd build a life together. But, turns out I expected too much. I thought in a relationship both should be the beloved, pero sa huli ako nalang yung sobrang nagmamahal. Ako nalang yung bigay ng bigay, binuhos lo energy ko dito na walang wala na ko ngayon. I waited for you to call everyday, kahit na minsan sobrang pagod ko na, inintindi ko pagkasilent treatment mo sakin tuwing hindi tayo okay or hindi ka okay kahit I'm anxious kasi di ko alam kung ano na nangyayare, especially pag nagaaway tayo at di mo ko nirereplayan nagooverthink ako. Alam mong ayaw ko niyan, pero still hindi ka magadjust, pati pagrereply mo or paguupdate mo. Alam mo kung anong problema diyan. At parang ako yung nagfleflex sa relationship natin, di kita nakitaan much of it. Pero leon sa galit at lungkot na nararamdaman ko, nandon parin ung pagmamahal, nandon parin ung mga alaala natin. Sabi nga nila love transcends time and space, I loved you until the day I died, and for me that's enough.