i hate the fact that i dont hate you. i hate that ur the only one that understands me. i hate this. i hate me. i hate how i couldnt save us. you thought i could save us and im so fucking sorry. its all my fault. i wanted to, i was trying. but i couldnt. so fucking caught up in my feelings its all my fault. come back to me sweet girl. please. i miss saying i love you to you. you were the most important person in my life. i genuinely wanna end my shit i feel so horrible. everytime i think of you i want to throw up, not from disgust, from how much i miss you. its so fucking insane. what do you mean i still love you. i should hate you, really. you should hate me. maybe itd be better off that way..or not. i never want to lose something so precious. i hate this so fucking much. i hate remembering every single memory we have made together. i miss everything. maybe i should try and push those thoughts down. i try actually. but it doesnt work? they always come up. ur the first thing on my mind, its horrible. im horrible. i love you even tho i shouldnt. i wish i loved you less. i wish you cared…you do. im sorry baby. my sweet baby. i miss you so much. i miss saying these things. maybe i should let stuff like this out more often. its not really helping tho. i feel so shitty. kill me omfg. i really hate the fact ur the only one i have. i hate it. i wish we could go back. i want to go back. take me back baby. please. id do anything. id fix myself up for you. id be normal. id video call u like u have always wanted. i shouldve done it. omg its all my fault, sweet girl im so sorry. idk why i still text you (lie). tf no ones gonna see this. i wish we were back together. it was too much pressure on you to love me i know. sorry. its all my fault.