haii, sorry for reaching out to you again after everything. i know maybe this message comes at the wrong time, especially now when your life already seems happier and calmer without me in it. but before i completely let this feeling go, i think i just need to say a few things honestly, at least for myself. first of all, i’m sorry if i ever became someone who made your life feel heavier or more complicated. maybe i handled things the wrong way, maybe i kept too many things to myself, or maybe i ended up hurting you without even realizing it. if i ever did, i truly didn’t mean to, and i’m really sorry for that. i also wanna apologize for reaching out to you again. i already know you have a girlfriend now, and honestly, seeing that made me realize that maybe you finally found someone who can give you the kind of love and certainty that i couldn’t give back then. and genuinely, i hope both of you stay together no matter what happens. i hope she treats you gently, and i hope life feels kinder to you now. you don’t have to reply to this, and i hope this message doesn’t make things uncomfortable for you. i’m not trying to bring back the past, i just felt like i needed to finally say these things honestly. thank you too, for everything you’ve ever done for me. thank you for always being kind to me even when i was difficult to understand. thank you for your patience, your effort, your presence, and all the little things you probably thought i never noticed. i did notice them. i always will. about the gift you gave me before, i’m really sorry i couldn’t turn it into a vlog or post it the way you maybe expected. i actually kept it quietly and accepted it as a birthday gift. i’m just not someone who’s good at expressing things publicly like that. i never really had the courage to record moments or openly show how i feel. maybe because deep down, i overthink everything too much. and i’m sorry too if back then i ended up hurting you, especially when your feelings were genuine. the truth is, at that time i was still trying to recover from my previous relationship. i was exhausted mentally and emotionally, and it changed the way i see myself. it made me feel like i was never really enough for anyone, like no matter how hard i try, i always end up choosing the wrong person or arriving at the wrong time. when we first became friends, honestly i only saw you as someone comforting to talk to. but slowly, i realized the way you cared about me was different, and maybe that’s where things became complicated. while you were brave enough to show your feelings, i was still trying to heal from my past and make peace with myself. looking back at everything now, i realize i was still carrying a lot of unresolved feelings within myself back then. i was trying to heal while also trying to understand who i was, and maybe that’s why everything felt so complicated. please don’t ever think that i never appreciated you, because i truly did. maybe not in the way you wanted, and maybe not at the right time, but your existence genuinely meant something to me. i know after this we’ll probably continue our lives separately again, and that’s okay. i just hope that one day, when you remember me, it won’t only remind you of confusion or pain. i hope there’s at least one small memory of us that still feels warm somehow. thank you for being part of my story, even if only for a short while. and once again, i’m sorry for everything. 🤍