I miss you so much Ren. you are on my mind constantly, I dream about you every night and I see your face in everyone I come across. you have the prettiest hazel brown eyes, I want to stare into them until I forget how to breathe, until I lose track of time and don't realize there is a world around me. I want to be able to feel your lips against mine just once, I want to forget everything but you. everything we had together and everything that came after has impacted me mentally a lot more than I think I fully realized. I find myself replaying things over and over in my head and getting stuck in thoughts I don’t know how to turn off. I often catch myself wishing I had been better, or different, or more like willow. It’s hard not to compare myself to her, especially when you once told me you could fall in love with someone who is just like you, and now that’s what you have. It messes with my head more than I want to admit. prepare, consume, proceed.