To my dearest, my tofu, my panda, my cediebee, I always love you. Love; but in such ways that even I couldn't fathom. I love you in a way that I don't know how to express because I'm too scared of being too much. I love you as a friend, as someone much more than that, and I love you most as just another human being. I see the goodness in you and I know you might be a little dense but I also know that you're all genuine. I apologize for all the confusion taht I may have caused you. Perhaps I don't really know what love is; perhaps I know what it is but I just don't know how to. It pains me a lot to carry the guilt of lying to you just to keep you around. I know you don't deserve any of those bullcrap. Cedie, I mostly think you deserve someone better but I also really wish I could be that someone. My insecurities are eating me alive and even the bugs could taste how bitter it is. I couldn't even get myself to meet you and have lunch together because I'm afraid you'd never see me the way you did in your phone. Just know, I may not have the same face, but I still have the same heart, the same soul, and the same person that loves you, accepts you, and is willing to take you in. Thank you for being a good friend, or maybe something more than that... But thank you still for being a good person. I still don't know where this will take us but I'll gladly accept it even when it leads me to my grave. I love you. Probably not your dearest, but someone who loves you best, Clara.