i've never ever in my life feels satisfied with myself..i always want more, it was never enough Like i tried, copying my friends, change the way i looks, the way i speak, eat ,write and laugh...i change everything to feels much better but it makes me taste something empty inside of me I realized i act hate myself. I did not appreciate myself that i abandoned it and try to push it away. Somehow i end up tired of it but ive never stop The last time i act feels like myself is 7 years ago Where i dont care about what ppl gonna say and act live the way i want without feeling anxious and scared of ppl perspective about me Im insecure, i admit it. I do things that i act hate when ppl did it to me. I know But did i ever stop? No I always want this, that, this and that But i never work for it And then, i kept feeling dissapointed and point my finger to the cruelty of faith when it was my fault My biggest regret was mocking and talking about people's wrong and right Talk about their sins like i dont have one Talk about their flaws like im perfect Gosh how selfish and pathetic i am How did i manage to keep a real friends when im so toxic