hi. how are you? i hope you’re doing okay. i can’t help it anymore. i miss you. i miss you so bad. every part of my day keeps reminding me of you, and no matter how much i try to distract myself, ikaw gihapon akong mahuna-hunaan. i am so sorry for how things turned out between the two of us. i am so, so sorry for hurting you. i am sorry for hurting you with my words, especially knowing how fragile and sensitive you are. kabalo ko ana, but i still did it anyway. and that’s something i deeply regret. how i see you never changed. even after everything, i still see you as someone gentle, sweet, soft, and loving towards me. i still see you as the same person who messaged me 5 months ago, the same person who made me poems, sang songs for me, stayed up talking to me, and showered me with words of affirmation even when kabalo ka dili na akong love language. you still did it because you loved me in the best way you knew how. you made me believe that i was still capable of loving someone again. before you, i was so guarded. daghan kaayo kog walls nga gitukod because of everything i went through before, but ikaw ray naka paubos ato tanan without even forcing it. you made me soft again. you made me feel safe enough to be vulnerable. and that means so much to me more than you probably realize. i miss you every time i wake up and open my phone. i miss you whenever i watch reels and see something that reminds me of you. i miss you when i listen to the songs you introduced to me. i miss you when something funny happens and ikaw dayon akong first thought nga gusto sendan. i miss your updates, your voice, your presence, your pagka baby. this is probably the longest time nga wala ta nagstorya, and it honestly hurts more than i can explain. i know i hurt you, and maybe this longing is something i deserve for everything i did. maybe this is my consequence. and honestly, it tortures me. but even then, i know i caused you pain too, and that hurts me the most. i am deeply sorry for my words, for shutting you out, for making you feel ignored and unloved when all you ever did was love me genuinely. i couldn’t stop thinking about you. ikaw ra gyud akong gihuna-huna the whole day. bisag unsaon nako ug busy sa akong self, mubalik ra gihapon akong thoughts nimo. it’s probably too late now, i know. but please let me express these feelings because they’ve been so heavy since last night. wala ko’y mahimo kay i also don’t want to keep hurting you anymore. i should have known how much you hated being ignored, but i still kept doing it whenever ma overwhelm ko. i always let my cloudy thoughts and sapot control me. instead of reassuring you or communicating properly, i pushed you away. and you never deserved that. not even once. and i am so sorry for comparing you to that bangtam. you are nothing like him. dili gyud ka parehas ato niya. you are far more gentle, patient, caring, expressive, and genuine. he could never compare to you. not even close. you always told me that i changed something in you, but you changed something in me too. you made me more open, vulnerable, soft, clingy, and expressive. you made me feel loved in ways i forgot i deserved. you always treated me like your baby, but honestly, nothing is more baby than you. you’re just a baby trapped inside a big human body. and i swear, i still want to baby you forever. i miss your random messages. i miss hearing about your day. i miss your lambing. i miss how you would comfort me even when ikaw mismo kapoy na. i miss how patient you were with me despite everything. and i hate that i made you feel like your love wasn’t enough when in reality, it was more than enough for me. i hope one day you can still find it in your heart to give me another chance to make it up to you. but if dili na, i will understand. i’ll respect it even if it hurts. i just need you to know that i loved you so genuinely and deeply. nothing could ever compare to you. and honestly, i’m scared i may never find someone as gentle, expressive, sweet, caring, soft, understanding, and loving as you are. i still replay our moments together inside my head over and over again. sometimes i catch myself smiling looking at sa imohang sweet messages sa akoa, then suddenly ma realize nako nga dili na diay ta okay and it hurts all over again. i miss the little things the most, the way you talked to me, the way you would reassure me even when i was difficult, the way you stayed patient with me even during my worst moments. nobody has ever loved me as gently as you did. there are so many things i wish i could take back. if i could redo everything, i would choose softer words. i would choose understanding over anger. i would choose to communicate instead of shutting down and pushing you away. because losing you made me realize how precious you really are to me. i know sorry alone cannot undo the pain i caused you. kabalo ko nga dili lalim imong gi feel because of me. and i hate myself for becoming someone who hurt the person i loved the most. you only wanted reassurance, love, and consistency from me, and instead i let my own fears, overthinking, and past traumas affect the way i treated you. i hope you know none of this was because you were lacking. you were never lacking. dili ikaw ang problema. you loved me so purely and sincerely, and i was lucky enough to experience that kind of love from you. i just wish i handled your heart more carefully because you never deserved the pain i gave you. there are still so many things i wanted to experience with you. so many moments i imagined us having together in the future. and maybe that’s one of the reasons why this hurts so much for me too. because i didn’t just lose a person i loved—i also lost the comfort, softness, and future i secretly wanted with you. and despite everything that happened between us, a part of me will always be thankful that i met you. because for a while, you made me feel loved in the purest way possible.