I know you’ll never see this but i’m crying right now, and i’ll continue crying until I die most likely since i’ve been crying for a while. My heart isnt where it’ supposed to be, you support ideas that I don’t want anything to do with and vise versa and to be honest so many of these ideas hurt me in a way that’s too deep for you too understand. You say you love me, but you want people like me to die. You say i’m perfect no matter what but you also say that if I don’t have kids i’m wasting my time. I want to make you two proud, I want you guys to feel like it was worth all the effort and stress but I don’t know if I can hide it any longer. I know if I tell you, everything will go to shit, but is it really that selfish of me to not want to live the rest of my life constantly lying to you? I make jokes about it in front of you and the most positive response i’ve gotten so far is a chuckle, the problem though was that you we’re laughing at them, saying they aren’t old enough to make these decisions, but when are people old enough? You have friends who you talk about behind their backs because they’re like me, just openly- and that’s wrong but I don’t say anything. She knew in high school, how come I can’t? Most know at 15, i’ve known since 13, and even though you keep trying to “protect” me and only show me things that aren’t too revealing of people like me, I still know. You can shame a person in front of me but their idea’s will never be taken from me. We all know that. In all you’ll never know, because I love you too much to hurt you, and i’m too scarred to see what you’ll do once you know. Not that you’ll hurt, I just don’t know if i’ll ever be ready to remind you that your baby girl isn’t a baby anymore.