Hi, I'm sorry for everything I've put you through. You win—i love you. I hate making you wait like this. I know silence can hurt more than words sometimes, and the thought of being the reason behind your pain quietly breaks me too. But I’m helpless right now. My mind feels like a room full of noise, and I need time to sit with myself and understand who I am becoming before I hold someone else’s heart properly again. Please don’t think your love went unnoticed. You stayed beside me even when I was difficult to understand, even when I pushed you away without meaning to. And no matter what happens between us, I will always carry gratitude for that. Thank you for loving me with patience when all I did was push you away. Thank you for staying on days I felt impossible to stay for. I’m sorry…but I can’t date you right now. And trust me, if love alone was enough, I would’ve chosen you in every lifetime without hesitation. I love you more than my words know how to hold, and maybe that’s exactly why this hurts so much. I don’t want to lose you. The thought of you slowly fading into someone I used to know terrifies me more than I can explain. But I’m standing at a cruel place in my life where every choice feels like betrayal. If I choose you now, I betray myself. But if I choose myself, then it feels like I’m betraying you…and the love we built with trembling hands. And maybe that’s the tragedy of this. Not that I stopped loving you—but that I love you while still not knowing how to keep you without losing myself in the process. -A