hellooo, chachaaa! i js want to say something lang. i wanted to say sorry for everything that i’ve done. for every action, word, and behavior that ended up hurting you. t’was indeed my fault, and it was me who ruined everything about us. i am very sorry for not being aware that my baby was already hurting. i’m sorry for being so insensitive and for failing to notice the pain you were carrying. i never wanted to hurt you, and it was never in my plan nor my intention to hurt you. ‎ ‎abt sa monthsary, hindi ko rin intention na pagsunurin yon. never ko rin siya plinano, and i know that you might be thinking na baka sinadya ko iyon or ginawa ko yon as some sort of revenge towards the both of them—but no, bb. never kong plinano na mag-revenge sa kanila, at hindi ko rin ginusto na magkasunod ang dates na iyon. at that time, i was really just minding my own business. to be honest, dinededma ko na sila when we started talking, and i was trying my best not to pay attention to anything that had something to do with them. pero kahit gano’n, the people around me kept bringing them up, and i would often just try to ignore it whenever they were being talked about. ‎ ‎yes, i was updated about them before, before we even started talking. but if you only knew how shocked i was when i realized that the dates were one after another. it was also the moment i realized how badly that could affect you and how much it could hurt you. kahit hindi ko man yon sinadya at kahit hindi iyon ang intention ko, naiintindihan ko kung bakit nasaktan ka at kung bakit naging mabigat iyon for you, and i'm truly sorry for that. i know that my intentions do not erase the pain that you felt, and i’m not using them as an excuse. i just want you to know the truth—that it was never planned, never meant as revenge, and never meant to hurt you. i’m sorry, bb. ‎ ‎furthermore, bae, i love you not just because i needed to. i love you because i wanted to, and i choose to love you every single day. mind you, never akong naghanap ng meron sila na wala ka. in fact, it was the other way around. hindi ko nakita sa kanila yung mga bagay na nakita ko sa’yo. ‎ ‎ikaw yung taong nagparamdam sa’kin ng genuine na pagmamahal, pag-intindi, at pag-aalaga. ikaw yung taong nagpatawa sa’kin sa mga araw na mabigat, yung taong naging pahinga ko kapag pagod na ako. you gave me a kind of love that i never had to question because you always made me feel valued and important. ‎ ‎hindi ko sila hinanap sa’yo dahil wala naman silang kailangan kong hanapin. because the truth is, ikaw yung may mga bagay na hindi nila kayang ibigay. ikaw yung may puso na minahal ko, ikaw yung taong pinili ko, at ikaw yung taong gusto kong mahalin. ‎ ‎and that’s why it hurts me so much knowing that my actions made you feel otherwise. knowing that i made you question your worth, compare yourself, or think that someone else could ever be better than you in my eyes. because honestly, there was never a competition. there was never anyone i was looking at while loving you. ‎ ‎if i could go back and change the things that hurt you, i would. not because i was forced to, but because seeing you hurt because of me is one of the things i never wanted to happen. i’m sorry for making you carry doubts that i should’ve reassured away. i’m sorry for making you feel like you weren’t enough when the truth is, you’ve always been more than enough for me. ‎ ‎and i know that no matter how much i explain myself, it will never change the fact that i hurt you. i know that the pain you felt was real, and i understand if there are things that are still difficult for you to forget. i’m not asking you to immediately understand me, forgive me, or simply brush everything aside. i just want you to know that i’m genuinely sorry. if there’s one thing i wish i could undo, it would be every moment that made you cry, overthink, doubt yourself, or question my love for you. because if there’ someone who never deserved to feel those things, it’s you. ‎ ‎you deserved reassurance, peace, and certainty, but instead, i became the reason why you questioned things. and for that, i'm deeply sorry. i know i can't take back what happened, but if there's one thing i want you to remember, it's that my love for you was always real. i may have made mistakes, i may have hurt you, but never once did i stop choosing you in my heart. ‎ ‎i love you to infinity and beyond. no matter how far, how difficult, or how uncertain things become, my love for you remains the same.