I honestly didn’t expect you would be able to be upfront to express what you’ve been feeling but i’m also grateful that you told me and that means a lot. I was really caught off guard somehow because I might have assumed a little about what you feel. I took my time and read everything and I appreciate that you see me in that way. I never thought that someone would consider my presence as something that I could be a source of light that gives warmth to others. I’m having a bit of a trouble expressing my words because I have always thought and saw myself as a passing place where everyone stays temporarily. I never looked at myself through the same light as you do, after all i’m not used to those kinds of words. Still, I appreciate it a lot because you told me. However, I wanna be honest with you and I know you wouldn’t take this the wrong way. As much as I appreciate all everything, I don’t think I can return your feelings in the same way and I want to say this in the gentlest way possible. I hope you know that my answer isn’t a reflection of your worth or how I see you. If anything, your words only gave me more reasons to appreciate and respect you. I just feel that I do not have the mental capacity to enter something that asks for that kind of vulnerability. I grew up thinking that love is conditional and something to be earned, that if I lacked anything the love given to me would lessen until there’s nothing left and i’m still struggling to fix that. I think I’ve carried certain insecurities about how I come across to people, and sometimes I worry that I can feel overwhelming or difficult to stay close to. You have a very big heart and I don’t want to be someone who won’t be able to return that same energy and hurt you. In saying this, I also just want to tell you that this doesn’t change things between us as friends. I won’t avoid you or push you away like I normally would’ve done because I value you as a person and I don’t want to let discomfort change the way with how I act around you. Also, I don’t feel that type of way even after reading all of it just so you know. I don’t want you to think that it would create a distance between us. Thank you so much, Nagi. Lili ૮꒰っ˕‹̥̥̥ ꒱ა