Bismillah, Pejam celik pejam celik… dah setahun rupanya kita, sayang 🥺🤍 Honestly, if someone told me last year that we would still be here today, still growing more in love with each other as days go by, still choosing each other more and more despite everything? I think I would cry the same way I’m crying now writing this for you. And one thing I’ll always appreciate about you is how you never fail to express your love for me. You know how much reassurance and words of affirmation mean to me, and even though sometimes kena bebel sikit baru buat HAHAHAHAHAHAHA, most of the time you do it sincerely out of your own heart. Out of your love for me. You never make me feel like I’m “too much” for needing affection and reassurance. Instead, you keep showing up for me in the ways that make me feel loved, seen, and secure. And honestly, I don’t think you realize how much comfort that gives me 🥺 And honestly, I don’t think the problem was ever about you finding it hard to love me. If anything, I think the harder thing for you was convincing yourself that maybe I deserved better than you. Dulu, most of the time we fight, somehow the first thing you do is call yourself toxic, or think leaving me would protect me more than staying. But sayang… I never saw you that way. I never saw you as someone who wanted to hurt me or ruin me. I know the way your mind works. You think too much about our safety, my safety, my feelings, and especially my happiness. Every decision you make always comes from a place of care, even if sometimes the delivery isn’t perfect. And that’s why I trust you so much. When you advise me about things like my clothes, tudung, or anything else, I never see it as you trying to control me or dim my light. I see it as someone who genuinely wants to protect the woman he loves in the best way he knows how. Someone who worries. Someone who cares deeply. Someone who carries responsibility in his heart even when he acts like he’s okay. That’s why no matter how many times you call yourself “toxic,” my heart still refuses to believe it. Because toxic people don’t spend sleepless nights thinking whether they’ve hurt someone they love. Toxic people don’t constantly worry about their partner’s wellbeing more than their own ego. Toxic people don’t try this hard to become better after every mistake. Thank you for staying. Thank you for never giving up on us even during the moments where things became difficult. Through every misunderstanding, every tears, every overthinking, every difficult conversation, kamu tetap pilih untuk stay and work things out with me instead of walking away. And I don’t think you realize how much that means to someone like me, sayang. 💓 Before this, I was never really good at expressing disappointment or hurt. Bila saya merajuk, bila terasa hati, most of the time saya akan diam, simpan sendiri, or cry until I couldn’t even explain what I was feeling. Speaking up for myself was something so difficult for me because all my life, I never really had the space to fully let my feelings out. But you? You changed that so gently. You never forced me. You followed my pace with so much patience and love. Slowly, because of your encouragement and reassurance, I started learning how to communicate my feelings instead of burying them inside. And honestly? I don’t think I’ve ever been this emotionally honest and vulnerable with anyone else other than you. And maybe one thing you don’t know is; every time saya terasa hati dengan kamu, a part of me always wants to pull away. I’ll tell myself to keep distance, to stop showing affection, to rebel quietly like “fine, kalau kamu tak nak saya ngada2 lagi ni, then I’ll stop.” I always try to protect my pride and act like I don’t care that much. But somehow… I never succeed doing it with you. Because no matter how hard I try to stay upset, you always know how to soften my heart and win me over again and again. You somehow always understand what my heart is silently crying for, even when I can’t explain it properly myself. And you give it to me so gently. There were times where saya nak stop merajukk because I felt guilty, like maybe you were tired of handling me already. But every single time you comfort me, every time you speak softly to me, every time you reassure me with so much patience and tenderness, it brings out the little child in me that only ever wanted to be loved softly. The part of me that wants to be pampered, to be comforted, to be seen, to be understood, and to be accepted without feeling like a burden. And somehow, with you, I never feel “too much” for needing love. You hold my emotions so carefully, and I think that’s why my heart keeps finding its way back to you no matter what 🤍 You bring out the best in me in the softest, most loving way possible, and I swear that’s one of the reasons why I keep falling harder and harder for you every day, my star 🤍 There were moments where maybe you didn’t realize your actions hurt me, but what matters most to me is; you learned. Not drastic changes overnight, not pretending to become someone else, but the little efforts. The small changes. The way you try to understand me better every single time. I see all of it, sayang. And I appreciate. every. single. one. Thank you sebab tak pernah berkira dengan saya. Thank you sebab selalu sabar dengan perangai saya, my whining, my brattiness, my overthinking, my emotional outbursts. Thank you sebab tahu macam mana nak tenangkan saya when I’m overwhelmed, when I’m crying too hard to even speak properly, when my emotions become too much for me to handle alone. Thank you for sitting beside me and listening to everything. My complaints, my tears, my anger, my fears, all my bad sides and all my good sides too. You made me feel heard. You made me feel safe. You made me feel loved in ways I never knew I needed. And only Allah knows how hard I pray for us. I pray that Allah will always protect our hearts, soften our flaws, strengthen our love, and guide both of us on the same path. Till Jannah right sayang? insyaAllah, aamin 🤍 Happy first anniversary, my one and only, Najmi. I’m so proud of us. And if there’s one thing I know for sure, it’s that no matter how many days, months, or years pass, I will still keep choosing you, again and again. I LOVE YOU SHOOO MUCHHH SAYANGGG!!! 🥰🥰🥰💓💓💓💓 MWAHHHHH!!! 💋💋💋💋💋💋