‎Hello and good evening, Mahal; ‎I don’t know where I should start this message, but I want you to know that this is all about me apologizing for everything. For the things that I did and the things that I failed to do that brought us to this situation once again. And yes, I’ve read your message for me on the STS application/website. ‎ ‎First, I want to say sorry for making you feel that way—to the point that you started thinking that maybe we should break up, and that you needed to stop talking to me because you felt like I’m still not fully healed from my past. ‎ ‎But I want to be clear about this, baby: I am healed. I have already moved on from my past. I don’t love him, and I’m not thinking about him anymore. I don’t want you to feel like you have to compete with someone from my past, because you don’t. My focus is on us, on our relationship, and on you. I am more in love with you than I can ever explain. ‎ ‎I understand where you’re coming from, baby. I know you have trust issues because of what someone from your past made you go through, and I understand why certain things can make you overthink and become scared of being hurt again. I also understand why you’re mad at my friends, and at me as well, especially because of the disrespect and the things that happened that made you feel hurt and uncomfortable. ‎ ‎I know I can’t tell you how you should feel about it. You have every right to be angry and hurt. And instead of defending myself or making excuses, I should have listened to you and understood your side better. I’m sorry if there were moments when I made you feel like your feelings weren’t important or that I wasn’t taking your pain seriously. ‎ ‎Second, about what happened during the swimming. I am very sorry that I didn’t do anything when I should have. Please believe me when I say that I was worried about you at that time. I cared about you, and I still care about you so much. But I also know that caring about you isn’t enough if I don’t act when you need me. ‎ ‎I understand why you acted the way you did afterward, and I understand why you’re still hurt by what happened. It wasn’t that long ago, and I know that something like that doesn’t just disappear because time has passed. I know that you were already hurting from that day, and I’m sorry that instead of making you feel safe and supported, I failed to do what I should have done. ‎ ‎Honestly, I’ve been thinking about why I didn’t do what I wanted to do at that moment. Maybe part of me wanted to stay and spend more time with my classmates because it felt like one of the last opportunities I had to be with them. But even if that was what I was thinking at the time, I know that it doesn’t change what happened, and it doesn’t erase the fact that you needed me. I should have prioritized you and your feelings. I’m sorry, Mahal. ‎ ‎Lastly, I badly wanted to help you heal from the things that have traumatized you. I wanted to be someone who could make you feel safe, loved, and understood. But I know now that I can’t simply “heal” your trauma for you. What I can do is be patient with you, listen to you, understand you, and make sure that my actions don’t add more pain to what you’re already carrying. ‎ ‎And I’m sorry because there were times when I failed to be the good girlfriend you deserved. I know that saying sorry isn’t enough to fix everything, and I don’t expect you to suddenly forget everything just because I apologized. I know that I have to prove through my actions that I really mean what I’m saying. ‎ ‎I badly want to make things right between us. I want to correct the mistakes I made, learn from them, and do better—not just because I’m scared of losing you, but because I genuinely want to become a better partner for you. I want to communicate better, listen better, understand you better, and be more mindful of how my actions affect you. ‎ ‎I don’t want to force you to forgive me right away, and I don’t want to pressure you into talking to me if you still need time. I just want you to know that I’m here, and I’m willing to give you the time and space you need. If there’s still a chance for us, I want to work for it. I want us to fix what we can, heal together, and build our relationship again with more understanding, trust, and love. ‎ ‎I love you so much, Mahal. I’m truly sorry for everything I did, everything I failed to do, and for every time I made you feel hurt, unsafe, or unimportant. ‎ ‎I really hope that we can still work things out. I don’t want to lose you, and I don’t want to give up on us. I love you, and I’m willing to do better for you and for us.