hi. so i found this super cool website which lets you write letters to people and send them, isn't that cool! so i thought, "hey, lets send something to my fellow dead poets society fan" and... here we are, lol. so, here's a little something i wrote :); ive been struggling lately therapy's not doing it for me when people see my scars they ask why i went that far suddenly my mouth is sewn shut walls up and facade on cause whats the truth, whats the truth to someone who'll just distort it later on but still i speak somehow words that aren't mine flowing out of my mouth grades are slipping 95 to 87 red's my favorite color now not gray or that one shade of lilac i write more for me now less for you but i still find myself talking to the empty spaces the crevices where i expected your ghost to stay but it didn't oh, it faded health's not really good anymore maybe it never was but shit was easier when breathed but now you're dead and i can't see a world where i survive sooo this is "a world where i survive". bit personal but yeah. not amazing, i know. but i really like how true to me it is, so yup! and this, this one is better (promise); my rose colored boy, do you remember me in the whitest nights and blackest of mornings? do you cry while conjuring up images of me and my onyx stone eyes dripping sapphire stones? is it fun to wonder if i bleed red like rubies or just carnelian? or do you push away all rationality and breath in this egotistical dynasty surrounding me? like the sun in winters i drown in you and forget to breathe the sea of your soul calls out to me mixing with the fabric of mine, silk on leather my hands itch to write songs with my blood on white walls about you and me and us and we as we fall so, so perfectly tumbling gracefully as my heart drops because is it just in my head? all the sunsets we watched thrown away for threads of love from her instead? shards of kindness where i gave you tonnes and yet i am the one discarded as i shake on the floor? ah, yes, my bathroom floor is well acquainted with the depression of warmth weighing on it whenever she remembers it comforts me more than most people can, the ice prickling my skin reminding me i am only human. looks like i'm all out of luck, standing here in a ballgown i made specially to please you and no, you never asked me to but that's what friends do, you incompetent asshole. and sometimes i lay awake think of your words which whispered onto my unworthy lips yet i just wonder ponder if i ever was deserving of that, of us. this one's untitled, maybe you can give it a title, lol. well, yeah. see you (technically, hear you,) in the vc! bye bye :D